英语日记写作技巧(汇集20篇)
负谁也不负你,对我来说并不难,更何况我不是主角。Itsnotdifficultformetolosenobody,letaloneImnotthemaincharacter……小编带你了解更多有趣的内容,接下来要给大家提供的是:初一英语作文写一封信,希望你认真看完,会对你有帮助的!
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1000英语日记带翻译
全文共 616 字
+ 加入清单Today, I feel stair very dirty, I want to do good deeds. I said to her
mother, "I want to clean sweep on the first floor, has been stair." Mother
agreed. So I took the broom began to clean the stair, from my house to the fifth
floor downward all Saul to the first floor. I think has swept very clean, but
also esau is fast, but I was not a bit tired. I clean after me good, he went to
the 4th floor old womans house.
I can do this thing, a savory praised me, I was very happy.
译:
今天,我觉得楼梯很脏,我要做好事。我对妈妈说:“我要打扫楼梯,一直扫到一楼。”妈妈答应了。于是,我拿着扫把开始打扫楼梯,从我家5楼一直往下扫到一楼。我觉得已经扫得很干净了,而且也扫得比较快,可是我一点也不累。我打扫好了以后,就到4楼阿婆家玩。
我做了这件好事后,阿婆表扬了我,我心里很高兴。
更多相似作文
篇1:英语日记100字
全文共 555 字
+ 加入清单I was only nine years old when I learnt how to use a computer. My mother is
my first teacher. I know how to type, how to copy a file, and how to visit a web
site on the intern.et. One day, mom was not at home.
I turned on the computer and began to learn how to chat on n.et. The first
one I met there was a boy called tom. He greeted me politely. When he knew that
I was only a 9-year-old girl, and almost knew nothing about chatting on n.et, he
started showing me how to use the chatting tools, how to download, and how to
send e-mails. I learnt a lot from him.
篇2:高中英语日记
全文共 793 字
+ 加入清单Nowadays, many families have a dog or a cat as a pet. Some people think
that pets are good and helpful companies. Some of them even go so far as saying
that animals are as good as humans, and their rights should be respected .Senior
citizens are especially fond of keeping pet because they are always feeling
lonely at home and they see the cats or dogs as their partner.
But some other people do not like pets. They say that animals are noisy,
dirty and dangerous. They think laws should be made to forbid people from
keeping pets in cities and towns.
In my opinion, pets are loyal friends that will never betray us. Staying
with pets, we shall enjoy happiness and feel relaxed. Most important of all,
keeping pets helps people to reduce loneliness and forget their unpleasant
things for the time being.
篇3:高中英语日记
全文共 683 字
+ 加入清单This winter is freezing cold. I didn’t have any desire to go out for play.
I always stayed at home. Actually, most of the time I was in my bed. When I felt
anxious for staying inside too long, I will go near the window to wach the
children building snowman or throwing snowballs. It seemed very interesting. But
I just didn’t want to go out. Later my mother found that I was so lazy. Then she
forced me to go out. Since my mother said, I have no excuse to reject. My mother
is right. Though the outside was icy, it’s fantastic. Everything smells fresh.
Since then, I went outside everyday, and then did my homework and felt full of
energy. The holiday ended very soon. It was a lazy holiday.
篇4:英语日记感恩节
全文共 2691 字
+ 加入清单Now I would like to give you some details about Thanksgiving Day in the
United States. Thanksgiving Day is the most truly American of the national
Holidays in the United States and is most closely connected with the earliest
history of the country.
现在我想给你们详细谈谈美国的感恩节。感恩节是美国国定假日中最地道、最美国式的节日,而且它和早期美国历史最为密切相关。
In 1620, the settlers, or Pilgrims, they sailed to America on the May
flower, seeking a place where they could have freedom of worship. After a
tempestuous two-month voyage they landed at in icy November, what is now
Plymouth, Massachusetts.
1620年,一些朝圣者(或称为清教徒)乘坐"五月花"号船去美国寻求宗教自由。他们在海上颠簸折腾了两个月之后,终于在酷寒的十一月里,在现在的马萨诸塞州的普里茅斯登陆。
During their first winter, over half of the settlers died of starvation or
epidemics. Those who survived began sowing in the first spring.
在第一个冬天,半数以上的移民都死于饥饿和传染病,活下来的人们在第一个春季开始播种。
All summer long they waited for the harvests with great anxiety, knowing
that their lives and the future existence of the colony depended on the coming
harvest.Finally the fields produced a yield rich beyond expectations. And
therefore it was decided that a day of thanksgiving to the Lord be fixed. Years
later, President of the United States proclaimed the fourth Thursday of November
as Thanksgiving Day every year. The celebration of Thanksgiving Day has been
observed on that date until today.
整个夏天他们都热切地盼望着丰收的到来,他们深知自己的生存以及殖民地的存在与否都将取决于即将到来的收成。后来,庄稼获得了意外的丰收,所以大家决定要选一个日子来感谢上帝的恩典。多年以后,美国总统宣布每年十一月的第四个星期四为感恩节。感恩节庆祝活动便定在这一天,直到如今。
The pattern of the Thanksgiving celebration has never changed through the
years. The big family dinner is planned months ahead. On the dinner table,
people will find apples, oranges, chestnuts, walnuts and grapes.There will be
plum pudding, mince pie, other varieties of food and cranberry juice and squash.
The best and most attractive among them are roast turkey and pumpkin pie. They
have been the most traditional and favorite food on Thanksgiving Day throughout
the years.
感恩节庆祝模式许多年来从未改变。丰盛的家宴早在几个月之前就开始着手准备。人们在餐桌上可以吃到苹果、桔子、栗子、胡桃和葡萄,还有葡萄干布丁、碎肉馅饼、各种其它食物以及红莓苔汁和鲜果汁,其中最妙和最吸引人的大菜是烤火鸡和番瓜馅饼,这些菜一直是感恩节中最富于传统意义和最受人喜爱的食品。
Everyone agrees the dinner must be built around roast turkey stuffed with a
bread dressing to absorb the tasty juices as it roasts. But as cooking varies
with families and with the regions where one lives, it is not easy to get a
consensus on the precise kind of stuffing for the royal bird.Thanksgiving today
is, in every sense, a national annual holiday on which Americans of all faiths
and backgrounds join in to express their thanks for the year s bounty and
reverently ask for continued[5] blessings.
人人都赞成感恩节大餐必需以烤火鸡为主菜。火鸡在烘烤时要以面包作填料以吸收从中流出来的美味汁液,但烹饪技艺常因家庭和地区的不同而各异,应用什幺填料也就很难求得一致。今天的感恩节是一个不折不扣的国定假日。在这一天,具有各种信仰和各种背景的美国人,共同为他们一年来所受到的上苍的恩典表示感谢,虔诚地祈求上帝继续赐福。
篇5:英语日记50词
全文共 351 字
+ 加入清单I am going to have a busy weekend!On Saturday,I am going to the bookstore
by motor cycle .I am going to buy a new CD and some comic books.then,I am goimg
to go home and read the new books.On Sunday,I am going to the subermarket with
my parents.We are going after lunch.Then,in the evening,I am going play caeds
with my parents and sister.That will be fun!
篇6:英语日记格式
全文共 361 字
+ 加入清单201X年X月X日 晴天
I will be at grade two of middle school this term, I have a new plan. I
want to start running after school. I am not very tall, I want to do the
exercise to grow tall. I plan to run two rounds of the runway on the playground
every day, which will be eight hundred meters. I wish I can be taller this term.
Running is good for health too, I like running.
篇7:英语日记格式
全文共 844 字
+ 加入清单Full of excitement
The English summer camp begins today.We were all excited today.
When we got on the bus in the morning,our guide miss Guo reminded us to
take care of ourseues.She also asked us to introduce ourselves and after that,we
got known with each other.
How time flies!After only on hour,we got to Zhejiang University.The
university is pretty,beautiful and large.The Teaching buildings and student’s
building are very new.I couldn’t wait to go into the student’s building.The
condition of the flat is good.The air conditioner is prepared for us.The
headteacher has a strong mind,no matter how hot it was,he still helped us to
solve the problems.
In the afternoon,we had our first class.Mrs Zheng asked us 10 questions,and
we answered them.
After having dinner,my friend and I went to the supermarket to buy some
fruit.
How happy the day we had today!
篇8:英语日记100词
全文共 296 字
+ 加入清单I watched television late last night so I woke up late。 My mother asked me
to go to the market to buy some eggs for her。 When I played with a little dog on
the street, I dropped the eggs on the ground。 They were all broken。 My mother
was very angry with me when I went home。 I am very unhappy today。
篇9:英语日记大全带翻译
全文共 380 字
+ 加入清单The end of the summer, should have a good rest! But my mother is very busy。 As the daughter of course I want to help my mother to do some。 Early in the morning I got up, washed the dishes, sweep the floor, cooking and so on, at noon, I tired, lying on the bed, fan fan, more fortable。翻译:最后放暑假了,就应好好歇歇了!但是妈妈很忙。作为女儿的我当然要帮妈妈分担些了。一大清早的我就起来了,帮妈妈洗碗,扫地,做饭等等,到了中午,我快累死了,往床上一躺,扇扇电风扇,舒服多了。
篇10:英语日记带翻译
全文共 376 字
+ 加入清单The end of the summer, should have a good rest! But my mother is very busy。
As the daughter of course I want to help my mother to do some。 Early in the
morning I got up, washed the dishes, sweep the floor, cooking and so on, at
noon, I tired, lying on the bed, fan fan, more fortable。
翻译:最后放暑假了,就应好好歇歇了!但是妈妈很忙。作为女儿的我当然要帮妈妈分担些了。一大清早的我就起来了,帮妈妈洗碗,扫地,做饭等等,到了中午,我快累死了,往床上一躺,扇扇电风扇,舒服多了。
篇11:高考满分作文写作的技巧
全文共 1411 字
+ 加入清单1.准确审题。
首先要仔细研究作文命题,反复揣摩命题者的意图,进而明确写作的各种要求。
(1)分解试题:对作文试题作适当分解,以求对作文要求有一个清楚的了解,不致因遗漏而偏离题意。一般来说,一篇作文试题可分解为标题、材料和注意三个组成部分。当然,不是每年每道作文题都必有这三个部分。但作文要符合题意,就必须对试题组成的各个部分作准确、细致、全面的审理。只有这样,考生在行文时,才能不折不扣地按要求表述,否则就会差之毫厘,失之千里。
(2)找关键词:在上面三个部分中寻找关键词(或词组)关键词是试题中的重点,就像人的眼睛,文章该写什么,甚至该怎样写,都可以从这个词中看出。同时在寻找关键词的过程中,试题的各种要求都会变得简单明显,容易让考生在紧张的考试中把握。
(3)变隐为显:将试题中的隐含信息说破,使其变为明示信息。
(4)化大为小:在高考作文时,要选一条思路、一个角度,一旦选好了,就要一心一意走到底。也就是说,文章角度要小,就其一点,纵深开掘,把一人、一事、一物、一理写得深刻有力。
如北京一考生的《包容(三)》包容很大,需从小处落笔,包容很宽,需从巧妙处切入。本文从金鱼的老住户和新朋友的相互默认,红黄两色调和之后的温柔鲜丽说起,提出生活中需要包容,然后扩展升华。从而使主题深化。恰当的角度使得行文自然流畅,如泉水自然涌出,处处妙趣横生。广东一考生的《沟通隔膜的桥梁语言》能准确审题,紧扣语言与沟通的关系,通过记叙母女间发生的一件小事,说明了一个道理:不使用语言去加强沟通,两代人之间就容易出现隔膜,产生矛盾;使用语言去沟通,这些隔膜与矛盾就容易消除。全文是切合题意的。
2.巧妙联想。
刘勰《文心雕龙神思》中说:故寂然凝虑,思接千载;悄焉动容,视通万里;吟咏之间,吐纳珠玉之声;眉睫之前,卷舒风云之色。
当代着名作家秦牧曾说:联想的构成,在某一点上如同电路,有了电路,电才能通过,知识贫乏,线路就不能畅通了。
东晋丞相谢安喜爱文学,善于清谈。一天,窗外纷纷扬扬地下着大雪,谢安与侄儿侄女一道欣赏雪景,不由诗兴大发,他想考一考侄辈的诗才,便指着窗外的大雪笑问:白雪纷飞何所似?侄子谢朗略一凝思说:撒盐空中皆可拟,侄女谢道韫从容不迫的说未若柳絮因风起。
谢安听了谢朗的话说:不好,谁有那么大的力气把盐撒得满天都是?盐在空中马上就要落下来。用撒盐做比喻,能准确的表现大雪飞舞的动态吗?而谢安听了侄女的话后,拍手大笑说:好!好!风吹柳絮上云霄,正象雪花漫天舞,絮白似雪,雪轻若絮,这个比喻真是又形象又贴切。这里谢朗把飘飘而落的雪花比作盐粒,谢道韫则把它比作柳絮。无论是盐粒还是柳絮,都是他们因看到眼前的雪花而想到的。这就是联想。
所谓联想,是人们在观察的基础上,由当前的某一事物回忆起或想到另一有关事物的思维活动。以某一事物作为触发点,由此任意联想出与之有关的事物。在进行多向联想的时候,一定要注意联想的广度、深度和新颖度。
江苏一考生的《山水中走来的沈从文》我们不必猜测命题人在命这道题的时候,是否想到了沈从文先生;但是,我们可以说,用水的灵动,山的沉稳来比况沈从文先生及其作品,是最恰当不过了。本文作者联想到沈从文先生作为叙写的对象,本身就是一种眼光,一种睿智,一种对人与山水的独特感悟。江苏一考生的《人间四月天》,作者由话题水的灵动,联想到现代浪漫主义诗人徐志摩水一般灵动的人生、执着的爱以及富有独特色彩的生命永恒,对题意的理解自然、准确。
篇12:短篇英语日记带翻译
全文共 577 字
+ 加入清单I went to summer camp on vacation. On the first day, we went to a beautiful
beach. It was a sunny and hot day, so we went swimming. The water was warm and
we had great fun. Then the next day, we went to the mountains. There were many
trees and I really enjoyed them. On the last day, we had a great party. We sang
and danced happily. We didn’t want to leave(离开) the friends and the teachers. I
hope I can go to summer camp again next year.
我去夏令营度假。第一天,我们去了美丽的海滩。这是一个阳光和炎热的一天,所以我们去游泳。水是温暖的,我们有很大的乐趣。然后第二天,我们去了山区。有许多树木,我非常喜欢他们。在最后一天,我们有一个伟大的党。我们高兴地载歌载舞。我们不想离开(离开)的朋友和老师。我希望我可以去夏令营明年再次。
篇13:小学与下雪天有关的写作日记
全文共 537 字
+ 加入清单一到冬天,我最盼望的就是下雪了。下雪,就可以和小朋友们一起玩雪仗、堆雪人……会给我们带来许许多多的乐趣。“瑞雪兆丰年”,老师这样告诉我们,说雪会给庄稼加上一条厚厚的“棉被”,会冻死许多的害虫病菌。雪,在我的印象中,一直是一个美丽的精灵。
天遂人愿,今年春节前夕,纷纷扬扬的大雪飘了起来。我们好高兴啊!但是,雪没有止的迹象,一连下了好几天,到处都是白色,人们都出不了门,只能呆在家中看看电视。电视中每个电台的报道中都出现了各地遭受雪灾的叫人担心的消息。快过年了,成千上万的旅客困在路上,不能回家和亲人团圆;有的地方雪压坏了房子,压坏了电线等通讯设备,严重影响了人们的生活,破坏了过年的好心情。不过,大雪无情人有情,在电视中,我看见国家--伯伯到了重灾区,无数的军人、干部、普通百姓走上街头,慰问受灾群众,在路上扫雪。我还看见许多司机在车上系上“绿丝带”无偿帮助路上行人回家……
我看得非常投入,“嘭……”一声清脆的鞭炮声吸引了我的注意力。原来室外的雪小了,很多人正在街上扫雪。一个调皮的小朋友迫不及待地跑到雪地中放起了烟火,被炸得七零八落的雪片夹杂在五彩缤纷的烟花中特别地美丽!雪还在下着,打雪仗的人在笑着,我想起了--伯伯的话,只要我们万众一心,众志成城,我们的爱心会融化雪灾。
篇14:2024高考英语写作高分技巧
全文共 1064 字
+ 加入清单下面是由语文迷网小编精心为大家整理的英语写作高分技巧,供大家阅读参考。
一、要善于模仿
一些同学的办法往往是背一堆范文,然后再到考场上进行一个“剪切”、“粘贴”的工作,真正的模仿重点永远要放在一定的句式结构上,而非个别的词汇。有一个句式说:“…for the simple reason that…”表示某种现象的原因是什么,用在高考(课程)写作中,我们就可以拿来解释为什么自行车在中国如此的流行:“The bicycle is very popular in China for the simple reason that…”。然而,很多同学一谈到原因仍然是“…because…”。如果要表示“总是能够”的概念,很多同学提笔就会写can always,但理想的句子应该是用双重否定表示强烈的肯定,用never fail to。
二、要灵活变通
在批改过上万份同学们英语(课程)作文中,经常能发现一些将中文生硬地翻译成英文的表达法。有一句话叫做“立志如山,行道如水”,写英文作文,一定要有决心把它写好,有信心把意思表达清楚,这是“立志如山”;但关键是遇到问题时要有个灵活的态度,能像流水一样变通解决问题。有个翻译界的故事说:在某大型国际会议的招待会上,一道菜是用鸡蛋做的。与会的客人问翻译:“What is it made of”本来是非常简单的一个问题,结果翻译太紧张,忘了“egg”这个词,但是他急中生智,回答:“It is made of Miss Hen’s son.”这里,就是一个灵活变通的范例。绕道表达,是写作中应该常常运用的一种方法。
三、要细心观察
注意英语中一些表达上的习惯。比如在正式文体的写作中,很少用 “it isn’t”这样的略缩形式,而往往是一板一眼地写作 “it is not”。同理,在正式文体中的日期一般不缩写,阿拉伯数字一般会用英文表达(特别长的数字除外)。
许多同学在写作文时,习惯于把 “since” “because” “for”这样的词放在句首引导原因状语从句。事实上,在我们见到的英语报刊杂志文章中,这样的从句一般都是放在主句之后的。另外, “and”也常常被误放在一句话的开头,表示两个句子之间的并列或递进关系。其实,经常留心地道的英语文章能发现,如果是并列关系,完全可以不用连词;如果是递进关系,用 “furthermore” “what is more”更为普遍。
四、要心有全局
英文写作如果结构意识良好,应试写作就简化成为一个填空的过程了,适当地填入观点、素材,文章就自然而然立起来了。
篇15:英语日记100字
全文共 377 字
+ 加入清单Dear Betty,
Your dad is busy working these days. I’ll be at an important meeting in the
city. Would you mind going to the supermarket and buying some food and fruit
after school this afternoon? Could you please meet your uncle and cousin at the
train station at 10 tomorrow morning? You can take a taxi. I’ll be back tomorrow
around 11. I’ll cook when I’m back.
See you soon!
Love,
Mom
篇16:短篇英语日记带翻译
全文共 367 字
+ 加入清单Mother told me that we will go to Guilin for a trip today. I am very
excited because the views there are beautiful. But there is still one day to go
and I feel impatient. I think people there must be polite and so should I.
Otherwise, we couldnt get well along with each other.
今天妈妈告诉我马上我们就要去桂林玩了。我很高兴也很期待。因为那里的景色很美。但是还要等一天,我有点迫不及待了。我想,那里的人一定很有礼貌。我也要学着礼貌一点。只有这样,我们才能和睦相处。
篇17:英语日记带翻译
全文共 716 字
+ 加入清单Yesterday, I decided to go outside for picnic, but unfortunately, it
suddenly rained.I felt very disappointed, but I knew one thing: next time, when
I decide to do something, I should pay attention to the weather
forecast.Finally, I had to change my mind, and I had to stay at home all day
watching TV and reading books.I like sunny days very much, and I dont like
rainy days any more. But I know if there are no rainy days, there will be a lack
of water, and I know it is very terrible if there is not enough water.But I
still like sunny days because I like sunshine very much.
昨天我决定去野炊,不幸的是突然下雨了,我感到很失望。但我知道了一件事,下次当我决定做什么的时候,应该留意一下天气预报。最后,我不得不改变我的主意。整天呆在家里看电视和书。我很喜欢晴天,一点也不喜欢下雨天。但是我知道如果不下雨的话,我们就没有水,那很糟。但我仍然喜欢晴天,因为我非常喜欢阳光。
篇18:写作时使用素材的技巧和方法
全文共 2780 字
+ 加入清单原文呈现
沉淀内心,收放自如
王馨宇
放者流为猖狂,入者收为寂寞,唯善操身心者,把柄在手,收放自如。
——题记
天下熙熙皆为利来,天下攘攘皆为利往。在光怪陆离的社会生活中,人们好像已经习惯了争名逐利,习惯于往自己的头上戴荣誉的光环。君不见打工皇帝唐骏造假学历,君不见明星个人资料上造假年龄……可是,这些面子工程真有那么重要吗?为什么那么多人为了名誉不惜迷失自我?
(此段中有两个“君不见”,从素材使用的角度,涵盖面有点狭小,最好再加一两个,构成排比,同时扩大社会领域,以期达到素材的广泛性。)
据报载,一个名为“中国校花大赛”活动的组织方在前往北大宣传推广时遭遇尴尬。两名女生鳖着牌子宣称“抵制校花,拒做花瓶”、“不做校花做自己”。在这样一个浮躁的社会,她们能做到沉淀内心,保持本真,实在难能可贵。
(此段为议论文的“由头”部分,应该在开头部分提出,放在此段有点晚。建议与上段换一下位置。)
诗人林希曾说:“土,浮沉在空间里.你是尘埃:沉淀在大地上,你是土壤。”人心亦如此。浮躁的内心除了能催生肤浅,什么也做不到。在人生的路途中,我们若是过于追名逐利,就如同一群人争夺一片浮云,总算费尽心机站了上去,还没有风光多久就被逐渐飘散的浮云摔到地上,好处没有得到,反倒得了一身伤痕。如此结果,于己何益?
学历、年龄、金钱,还有“校花”的美誉,正如朵朵浮云,乍一看洁白无瑕,很美丽,但只是商家牟取利益的手段,即使是friend最后也还是会end,lover最后也免不了over,更何况这飘渺不定的浮云?
(此段很有特点,但单独成一段有点突兀,它其实是用来修饰“浮云”的,所以与上段合在一起为好,并且应该想法去阐述“浮云”。)
古人云:我贵而人奉我,实非奉我,奉此峨冠大带也:我贱而人侮我,实非侮我,侮此布衣草履也,我胡为喜,我胡为怒?因此,我们不必在乎世人的眼光,像毕淑敏所说,“面朝大地,背负青天,快乐地活着”,就好。
(“我贵而人奉我……”这个素材实际上与主旨关系不大,因为本文的主旨是“沉淀内心,收放自如”,而素材主要说的是淡定面对别人的毁誉,联系并不是十分紧密。)
面对名利的诱惑,我们应当善操身心,保持平和的心态,因而才能把柄在手,收放自如。想想《倚天屠龙记》中小昭所唱的:“世情推物理,人生贵适意,想人间造物搬兴废。吉藏凶,凶藏吉。富贵哪能长富贵?……受用了一朝,一朝便宜。百岁光阴,七十者稀。急急流年,滔滔逝水….
(“小昭”所唱的曲子非常精彩,但更适合表现“圆满与残缺”、“幸运与不幸”、“珍惜”、“知足”等话题,与“把柄在手,收放自如”还是有一定的区别的。)
名誉的光环终究是留不下的纪念碑,只有沉淀下来的心灵,才能为自己树立永恒不倒的丰碑!
(结尾讲究照应升华,结尾出现的“纪念碑”,“丰碑”前文没有出现过,既谈不上照应,更谈不上升华。)升格策略
这是一篇中规中矩的议论文,意在论述人在面对名利等各种诱惑时,要沉淀内心,保持本真。文章中心较为明确,素材也很丰富,但不足之处也很明显。
首先,文章结构不是十分合理。一般而言,议论文都需要有个“由头”,也就是所发议论的原由,就是具体的事件,这部分通常需要放在文章开头部分,这样才能快速入题。但本文先是发了一通议论,然后才摆出原由,切题失之于缓慢,不够快捷。建议作者将事件由头作为文章的开头。
其次,素材运用贵在精当,丈中素材虽然丰富、多样,但某些素材却有芜杂之嫌。比如,丈中有两个单独看来很不错的素材,就是“我贵而人奉我……”的名言和《倚天屠龙记》中小昭所唱的曲子,但可惜与本文主旨还是有一定的游离,建议作者忍痛割爱,更换成更能体现文章主旨的素材。这种情况许多同学都有,他们往往熟记一些精彩素材之后,在写作时总想将之用于文中,只是有时这些素材与所写作文主旨关系不大,即使勉强用上也属画蛇添足,甚至适得其反,不但不能为文章增色,反而会使文章减分。
另外,个别语句有离开事件去泛谈之嫌,这些都是需要修改的。
升格佳作
沉淀内心,收放自如
王馨字
放者流为猖狂,入者收为寂寞,唯善操身心者,把柄在手,收放自如。
——题记
据报载,一个名为“中国校花大赛”活动的组织方,在前往北大宣传推广时遭遇尴尬,有两名女生举着牌子宣称“抵制校花,拒做花瓶”、“不做校花做自己”。
(开篇先交代由头,正确。)
在这么一个浮躁的社会,她们能做到沉淀内心,保持本真,难道不值得我们赞叹吗?面对她们,那些成天汲汲于富贵、戚戚于贫贱的人不觉得汗颜吗?
(紧扣题目,过渡简洁。)
太史公曾日:天下熙熙,皆为利来:天下攘攘,皆为利往。在光怪陆离的社会生活中,人们好像已经习惯了争名逐利,习惯于往自己的头上戴荣誉的光环。君不见打工皇帝唐骏假造学历,君不见明星个人资料上谎报年龄,君不见某些女演员为求出名主动要求“潜规则”,君不见“官出数字,数字出官”之怪现状层出不穷……
(素材内涵富于变化,因此显得丰富而不单调。)
可是,这些“面子工程”真有那么重要吗?为什么那么多人为了这些外在的东西不惜迷失自我?
(独句成段,引起下丈。)
诗人林希曾说:“土,浮沉在空间里,你是尘埃;沉淀在大地上,你是土壤。”人心亦是如此,浮躁的内心除了能让人生肤浅,什么也做不到。在我看来,那些热衷于靠“选秀”、“选花”、“选革”而出名图利的人,就如同在争夺一片浮云,这浮云乍一看洁白无瑕,很美丽,但说到底只是商家牟取利益的手段,别忘了即使是friend最后也还是会end,lover最后也免不了over,更何况这飘渺不定的浮云?即使费尽心机站了上去,也会在须臾之间摔倒在地上,而像北大那两名能保持本真的女生,本来就立足于坚实的大地上,又怎会有摔落之虞呢?
(再次联系“北大两名女生”,表示没脱离材料)
所以,面对似乎很轻松就能到手的诱惑,保持警惕吧,特别是在你心浮气躁、意动血涌的时候,这时的我们,更应该沉淀内心,善操身心,保持平和、本真的心态,只有这样,才能把柄在手,收放自如,才不会被“某花”、“某草”之类的商业化炒作弄得晕头转向,才会找到自己真正的幸福生活。就像著名作家毕淑敏所说的——
枷锁一旦被打开,你就可以自由地呼吸了!
(引用名人名言强化论点,切题紧密。)
升格小结
文章在升格过程中,从结构的安捌到素材的选用,都进行了一些调整。首先,将作文由头放在开头部分,使文章更加符合常规议论文的形式。然后,将原文中“君不见”由两句扩充为四句,第一是为了在句式上形成排比句,第二是为了扩大素材覆盖范围,增加文章的说服力度。接着,将“即使是Friend最后也还是会end”一段与上一段合并,突出了名利的“浮云”特征。同时将名言“我贵而人奉我……”以及《倚天屠龙记>中小昭所唱的曲子删去,增加了一处紧扣材料的议论,起到一定的点示作用。整体读下来,可以看出,文章脉络较原文更加清晰,扣题更加紧密,素材虽然较原文稍减一点,但更加精当,更有表现力了。
篇19:说明文的方法比较法作文写作技巧
全文共 956 字
+ 加入清单电子手表同机械手表相比较,既方便又经济,作为一种新型的计时工具,已越来越多地进入到人们的生活中。
最初的电子手表主要是由晶体管和钮扣电池组成的。由于结构简单,功能也不完善,一般只可显示简单的时间(精确度为一秒),外型也较笨重、粗陋。现在较简单的电子手表内部结构已有了变化,加入了二极管、简单的电子计算机记忆程序等,精确度提高到01秒。另外还可整点报时、放音乐、指示星期几、夜间亮灯照明等,对方便人们的生活起了不少作用。
随着科学技术的不断发展,电子手表也在不断进步。除了以上所谈到的较普通的功能外,近年来又出现了许多使用高科技成果的新产品。如19XX年日本制的第一只电视手表。它由一个带日历的电子手表和一个12英寸的黑白液晶显像屏组成。外型精巧,体积为487×398×9毫米3,重约50克,兼带耳机及调谐装置,既可作为手表显示时、分、秒、日历等,又可作为电视,收听伴音、短波,还可通过调谐器选择频道,调节音量及调节画面光亮度。还有一种电子脉搏表,重量不到30克,是由一个小型秒表连接一架微型计算机构成。把它戴在手腕上,就可精确地测出每分钟脉搏次数,并用数字显示出来。
这种表可以很好地协助运动员参加体育训练。另外有一种会说话的电子表,没有指针及数字,表盘上只显示一个机器人的脸。那么它是如何向人们报告时间的呢?原来在它的内部装有一个报时的机械装置,只要按动表上的按钮,就会有一个摹拟的女声报时。这种表对于盲人和视力差的人来说是一种极好的计时工具。另一种电子手表能对聋哑人进行帮助,在这种手表上装有一个微型话筒,用来接收3米内发出的声音,将声音输入表内的微型计算机,经过分析,声音信号便可传递给手表附件中一个发光二极管,使其产生视觉信号。聋哑人根据看到的不同符号,就可以判断出对方讲话的内容。
除此之外,各种新型的电子手表还可以测量体温、通讯联络及用作精密的野外观测等。我们相信,在科技飞跃发展的明天,电子手表将发挥巨大的潜力,更好地为人类服务。
在这篇文章中,作者通过将电子手表与机械手表的造型、工艺、使用方法作比较,准确地说明电子表越来越多地走入人们的生活中的原因。
总之,说明的方法很多,还可以列出许多种,如数字法、图表法、拟人法、顺序法等,不再一一列举。但不管是哪种方法都要注意到科学性、准确性,为说明、阐释事物服务。
篇20:寒假英语日记
全文共 3354 字
+ 加入清单Today ,my mother and I cleaned the house. I cleaned the windows hard because it is so dirty. Then I cleaded it again. After that, I cleaned the floor and swept it. I thought it is dirtier than windows. Then I cleaned the tables and lots of chairs. We washed all of the clothes and quilts. Until four o`clock, we tidied all of the rooms up. My room was the cleanest and brightest. I was so happy and satisfied. Then my mother said: "You`re successful."
Today is my shopping day. I wanted to buy some delicious food.there were many kinds of food. I wanted to eat more and more fruits. I wanted to eat apples in order to lose weight. I liked eating bananas, straw berries, pears and watermelons, I wanted to buy some books, I thought they can help me study not long after my holidays, I wanted to buy a pair of golves for myself because my golves were lost. And I bought some CDs.
I got up early this morning and had breakfast quickly. Then my mother and I took the bus to my grandmother`s home. My grandmother was glad to see me again. She gave me candies and a cup of milk. She was really kind to me. At noon, we had lunch, There were lofts of people. After that, I talked with my grandmother. She laughed again and again. Then I played with my brother and my little sister. Finally , I said "see you " to each other.
I went to my new house to my room. It is very big and beatiful. I will use a blue wardrobe and a blue bookcase. I saw a big bed and there was a blue sheet on it, I really liked them, because my favorite color is blue. But my desk was brown. In fact, I like brown, too. And there were many pet dogs and pet bears. They were cute, really eute. I loved them very much.
I plan to do lots of homework today. First , I read english articles, next I wrote my science tests snd math tests. I had some questions. So I called to my classmates to ask, then I listened to the music, I enjoyed it. In the afternoon, I drew some bananas, I believed I can draw it well. In the evening ,I played computer games. After that , I read a famous book on the bed. It was a happy day today.
My father is a manager. He likes singing and playing cards. He liakes drinking tea in his office. He likes watching TV and smoking. He likes making friends very much. So he has many friends, He`s outstanding and calm. I like his personality. My mother is a history teacher. She likes drinking juice in her free time. She likes playing volleyball and badminton. She likes watching tv ,too. And she also likes listening to the music. She always does housework because she wants to have a beatiful and clean house. She`s economical and smart. I love my parents.
Today is New Year`s day. Today I`m not doing homework. I`m making dumplings. After that, we`re having lunch, my grangfather is saying to
each other" Happy New Year", I`m saying to him" the same to you". We`re laughing. In the afternoon, I`m going shopping with my brother and sister. Two hours later, we`re getting home, we`re playing computer. Today is a happy day.
I think I will be an interpreter, because I like all kinds of the languaes. Of course, I may be a businessman . Because I like biz,too. I will have a villa and a robot. In ten years, My parents will have hoary hair and rimple. And I will be more mature than now. I will be more disengaged than now, too. My family will be richer and richer.