英语幽默故事比赛英语作文【推荐19篇】

“英华好少年杯”第四界讲故事比赛开始了。我们都非常的紧张。一个，两个，三个……到我准备了，这么快！我带主席台一测握着拳头，紧张的跺着脚。

我紧张的上了台，开始讲了起来。我讲的故事名字叫《一个美丽的故事》，故事的大概内容是这样的：有一个小男孩儿，成绩不引人注目。一次，他写了一篇作文，作文里写到：他有两个愿望。第一个是希望他的妈妈每天都夸她聪明，第二个是希望他的老师每天都说“其实，你一点儿也不笨。”然后在小男孩妈妈生日那天，小男孩把作文本拿给了妈妈看。

我每天在练习背这篇故事的时候，总觉得特别感动。我觉得小男孩虽然成绩不好，但是仍有学习的上进心，而且懂得怎样感恩父母，做一个尊敬老师，体贴父母的好孩子。做一个人见人爱的好孩子。即便他是一个塌鼻子的小男孩，但是他不怕别人窥见他，他专心学习，不受外界干扰，让他们爱说什么就说什么吧！

我觉得我应该向故事里的那个小男孩学习，因为他给我的印象最深，事迹更美好。

1、罗斯福还未当上美国总统之前，家中遭窃，朋友写信安慰他。罗斯福回信说：谢谢你的来信，我现在心中很平静，因为：第一、窃贼只偷去我的财物，并没有伤害我的生命。第二、窃贼只偷走部分的东西，而非全部。第三、最值得庆幸的是，做贼的是他，而不是我。一言可以兴邦，一言可以亡国。

2、美国前总统里根在任初期遭遇枪击，子弹穿入胸部，情况危急。在生命攸关的当头，里根面对赶来探视的太太的第一句话竟是：亲爱的，我忘记躲开了。美国民众得知总统在身受重伤时，仍能不忘幽默本色，康复应该指日可待，因此也稳定了可能因总统受伤而动荡的政局。事情发生之后，是好是坏都不重要，重要的是，你从哪个角度去切入。

3、英国首相威尔逊，在一次演讲中，刚进行到一半时，台下突然有个捣蛋分子，高声打断了他：狗屎！垃圾！威尔逊虽然受到干扰，但他情急生智，不慌不忙的说：这位先生，请稍安勿躁，我马上就要讲到你提出的关于环保的问题了。全场不禁为他的机智反应鼓掌喝彩。掌握自己的情绪，才能掌握自己的未来。

4、邱吉尔首相在一次公开场合演讲时，由台下递上来一张纸条，上面只写着两个字：笨蛋。邱吉尔知道台下有反对他的人等着看他出糗，便神色轻松地对大家说：刚才我收到一封信，可惜写信人只记得署名，忘了写内容。邱吉尔不但没有被不快的情绪控制，反而用幽默将了对方一军，实在是高招。幽默的机智反应并非只是能言善道，而是一种快乐、成熟的生活态度，掌握了它等于掌握智慧的结晶，得到快乐的泉源。

5、一天，拿破仑到野外打猎，突然听见远处有人呼叫，他循声走去，看见一人落水，正大声求救。拿破仑毫不犹豫的举起枪来，大声叫道：喂！听好！你要是不爬上来，我就开枪打死你。那个人听了，顿时忘记落水的危险，立刻使尽全力向岸边游去。上岸的第一句话就是：你不救我就算了，为什么还要开枪打死我？拿破仑从容不迫的回答说：假如刚才我不吓唬你，你就不会奋力游上岸，那又怎么能脱险呢？要别人怎样对你，自己先怎样对别人。

6、艾森豪威尔将军参加某餐会，会中安排演讲节目，总共邀请五位贵宾致词，艾森豪威尔排在最后一位上台。前面四位，个个千言万语、赘言连连，轮到他时，时间已近十点了，台下早已意态阑珊、兴致缺缺。善解人意的艾森豪威尔将军一上台便说：任何演讲都会有句点，我就作为今晚演讲的句点好了。语毕鞠躬而退。

7、有一次，萧伯纳在街上行走，被一个冒失鬼骑车撞倒在地上，幸好并无大碍。肇事者急忙扶起他，连声抱歉，萧伯纳拍拍屁股诙谐的说：你的运气真不好，先生，如果你把我装死了，就可以名扬四海了。善于表达的人，有的是论点犀利，一针见血，有的是滔滔雄辩，口若悬河，但是都不如令听者发出真心微笑的幽默话语来的巧妙，来得“四两拨千斤”。

8、一次，美国知名作家马克吐温，因为看不惯国会议员在国会通过某个法案，而在报纸上刊登了一个广告，上面写着：国会议员有一半是混蛋。报纸一卖出，许多抗议电话随之而来，这些国会议员可不认为自己是混蛋，纷纷要求马克吐温更正。马克吐温于是又登了一个更正启事：我错了，国会议员，有一半不是混蛋。有幽默感的人，凡事健康思考，保持正面态度，当遇到困难时，比较容易化险为夷。

上帝有一架天平秤，专称人品的重量。上帝在天平的一端放着一个砝码做标准。超过砝码重量的是上品，轻于砝码的，属于下品。

一个穷汉过来，光着身子跳上天平一称。重量大大超过砝码。

上帝称赞说：“好！是上品。”

一个富翁过来，他唯恐自己不够重量，列为下品。便在腰围绕上一条很厚的黄金腰带，满有把握地走上天平去称。

谁料富翁这一端翘得很高，大大轻于砝码的重量。

上帝摇摇头，说：“是下品！”

富翁抗议说：“这天平不准！那穷汉什么也没有，我身带万金，怎么重量还不及他呢？”

上帝说：“我这天平不称贫富，专称人品。不说别的，单说那穷汉的骨头就比你重得多。除去黄金，你的骨头轻得几乎没有分量了！”

一条不懂事的美丽小蛇在水边看见啦一只有着漂亮花纹、皮肤超好的青蛙，不禁生出啦爱慕之心。小蛇对青蛙说：我们可以交往吗?青蛙说：好啊好啊。于是他们两个生活在啦一起。

有一天，他们在睡觉的时候，小蛇在睡梦中不由自主地用身体将青蛙缠啦起来，青蛙感觉要窒息啦，就奋力挣扎，用两条强壮而有力的后腿重重地蹬在小蛇的腹部，弹啦出去，然后迅速地逃走啦，再也没有回来。

伤心的小蛇养好啦身上的伤，却无法养好心中的伤，她对帅气漂亮的青蛙产生啦恐惧感，认为会被伤害，从此她过着单身生活。这一天，一只丑陋的癞蛤蟆发现啦小蛇，觉得她十分美丽，不禁生出啦爱慕之心。

癞蛤蟆对小蛇说：我们可以交往吗?小蛇看啦看丑陋的癞蛤蟆，觉得他的眼神很真诚，她那颗寂寞的心动摇啦，她想这只癞蛤蟆这么丑陋，应该会好好珍惜她这么漂亮的小蛇的，于是她说：好吧好吧。

于是他们两个生活在啦一起。有一天，他们在睡觉的时候，小蛇在睡梦中不由自主地用身体将癞蛤蟆缠啦起来，癞蛤蟆感觉要窒息啦，就奋力挣扎，他的背上喷出啦毒汁，射进啦小蛇的眼睛，小蛇受痛展开啦身体，癞蛤蟆趁机逃走啦，再也没有回来。

【哲理】别以为只有帅哥才会伤害女孩，丑男一样会伤害女孩!这个故事还告诉我们：适当的缠绵是可以的，但是如果你的性要求太频繁，给男人压力太大，那么男人会被你吓跑的。

阿峰所在的公司新来了一位女同事李曼，有回阿峰路过李总的办公室，听到李曼喊李总“爸”，心想，难道她是李总的女儿？李总定是想把女儿放到基层锻炼，将来好接班。如果自己能把李总的女儿追到手，岂不就能走上人生巅峰了？于是，阿峰主动接近李曼，在工作上提供帮助。李曼也是一个热情开朗的人，两人很快成了朋友。

有次两人在聊天，阿峰正忙着逗李曼开心，李总过来了，脸色很不好看，还把阿峰叫进办公室，训道：“上班时间别瞎聊天，把心思都用在工作上，不要想些乱七八糟的，明白吗？”阿峰只得连连点头。

虽然被训了一顿，阿峰还是不死心，不尝试怎么知道不可能呢？这天，阿峰加班到很晚，公司只剩下他和李曼两个人。阿峰鼓起勇气，说：“李曼，等会儿我们一起去看电影，好吗？”李曼显得很吃惊，有些口吃地说：“不、不行。”

阿峰诚恳地说：“李曼，我是认真的，我能感觉到，你对我也有好感。给我一个机会，好吗？”

李曼搖摇头，说：“我想你误会了，我对你没有那个意思。”说完，她急匆匆地离开了。

阿峰有些沮丧，心想自己还是太心急了，他不愿意放弃，打算明天去给李曼道个歉，两人继续做朋友，等时机合适了再说。

没想到，第二天阿峰一到公司，就得知自己被辞退了。阿峰大吃一惊，想找李总要个说法，同事们拦住他，说：“想知道你为什么被辞退吗？”阿峰点点头。“勾引老总的儿媳妇。”同事们幸灾乐祸地说。

阿峰愣住了，李曼喊李总“爸”，那是喊自己的公公呢。

今天，我们去新教学楼五楼去观看讲故事比赛，那里令我做好的就是那个有趣的故事，他的名字叫：“爱美的小花猫，那里面的小猫是一个很爱美的，别的小动物都去说小猫很难看，自己长得长长的胡子，就像一个老爷爷一样，走来走去，小花猫知道了又是生气，又是伤心，因为自己没有漂亮的身体，别的小动物都说道，你把自己的胡子减去呀！说着他们拿着剪刀，小花猫赶紧拿住，把自己的胡子咔嚓咔嚓的减掉，小花猫就对他们说：“这下我不像老爷爷了吧！他们纷纷评论说：“这样小花猫漂亮多了。

过了一会牛阿姨来了说：“小花猫，我们家有一只老鼠。小花猫兴奋的说：“有老鼠的地方就有我，来到牛阿姨的饭馆，小花猫屏息凝视望着小老鼠，小老鼠在那里打洞，一边打洞一边看着有没有动静，小花猫越来越靠近小花猫了，小花猫看着小老鼠，小花猫猛一扑上，小老鼠知道了使劲往里自己洞里跑，小花猫也进了洞，洞里坑坑洼洼，花猫知道了垂头丧气的说：“今天不但没有捉到老鼠，自己却摔了一个大包，他回到学校，老山羊老师知道了小花猫的这件事对小花猫说：“那个胡子是你的胡须，这样不防止摔倒。

我听了这个故事准确的突出，小猫爱美的特点，今后我们下课要多多读书，学习更多知识呀！这样我们就可以认识更多的大自然的奥秘。

补鞋匠穷得绝望了，他不能靠手艺来维持生计，便跑到另一个城市去行医，因为那里没有一个人认识他。在那里，他靠吹牛，卖一种可治百病的假药，骗取了人们的信任和好名声。有一次，他自己得了重病。那城里的官老爷想试验一下他的医术究竟怎样，便拿来一只杯，倒满一杯水，谎称这水是补鞋匠治百病的药和毒汁混和起来的，命令他喝下，并允诺给一笔酬金。补鞋匠知道自己的药无解毒功效，害怕喝了毒汁死亡，便招出自己毫无医药知识，只是靠吹牛来卖假药，被人们盲目称赞而成名。官老爷召集市民大会，告诉大家说：“你们都愚笨至极，竟毫不怀疑地将自己的头托付给这样一个无用的人。在别的城市，大家连脚上穿的鞋都不愿意要他做。”

——个故事是说不要轻易相信那些江湖骗子。

唐朝有个皇族的后裔叫李载仁，由于当时战争四起，所以百姓们都没有安定的日子过，为了逃避战乱，李载仁跑到江陵高季兴那里，做了个观察推官。他生性迂腐，行动缓慢，从不吃猪肉。

有一次，他将要去接受上司的召见，刚上马，家里的仆人打架了。李载仁大怒，叫人立即从厨房里拿来大饼和猪肉，让打架的人当着他的面吃下去，并且警告说：“以后如果胆敢再打架，一定要在猪肉里加上酥油来重重地惩罚你们!”

【大道理】：

不要因为自己不喜欢的事情，别人非常喜欢也说不定;

如果用别人喜欢的事情自己不喜欢的事情去惩罚别人，那是一种愚蠢的行为。

一只公寄居蟹找到了一只很大的空贝壳，便把贝壳清理干净，做成了自己的房子。有了房子的公寄居蟹很快找到了一只母寄居蟹，他们快乐地生活在这个大房子里。每天他们出门，母寄居蟹就自由快乐地遨游，觅食，而公寄居蟹背着沉重的房子艰难地跟在母寄居蟹身后。母寄居蟹游一段路就要停下来等公蟹。这样的生活过了没多久，有一天母寄居蟹跟着一只无拘无束的龙虾一起游走了，再也没有回来，而公寄居蟹无法丢下他沉重的房子，只能眼睁睁地看着母寄居蟹游远、游远、游远，渐渐消失，不见……

一年一度的动物赛跑比赛开始了,参加这次赛跑的有德路犬波比、灰兔通瑞、波斯猫冬冬和小马达玲。

赛场上，到处都是观众，都快要挤到了跑道上。鸭子裁判宣布：“本次赛跑比赛的参赛的选手有：“波比、通瑞、冬冬和达玲。现在，比赛正式开始。”枪声刚响，波比就像风一样地冲出了起跑线，达玲紧追在其后，通瑞和冬冬并排跑。一会，达玲追不上了，落在了后面。通瑞和冬冬也追累了，速度越来越慢。波比扭头一看：“哈哈!一个也没追上，我休息一下再跑。”20分钟后，达玲追上来了，看见波比在睡大觉，就加快了速度，使劲向前奔去。波比还在睡，通瑞和冬冬也追上来了，见波比睡得香，也加快了速度。波比一觉醒来，看看后面:“咦?还没追上来，不管了，反正到终点我也是第一名。”他哪本文知道其实达玲、通瑞、冬冬已到终点了呀!波比到了终点一看，怎么他们已经到终点了?比赛结果出来了:“第一名达玲，并列第二名通瑞、冬冬，最后一名波比。”

比赛结束了，波比回到家，妈妈问他：“你拿了第几名?”“最后一名。”“最后一名?”狗妈妈简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。因为波比太骄傲了，所以拿了到数第一。

狗妈妈说：“谦虚使人进步，骄傲使人落后。”

Bob Richards, the former pole-vault champion, shares a moving story about a skinny young boy who loved football with all his heart.

Practice after practice, he eagerly gave everything he had. But being half the size of the other boys, he got absolutely nowhere. At all the games, this hopeful athlete sat on the bench and hardly ever played.

This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always On the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn‘t want to.

But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he‘d get to play when he became a senior. All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game but remained a bench-warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did.

The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.

The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in a game.

It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big playoff game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?" The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don‘t even plan to come back to the game on Saturday."

Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter,when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. "Coach, please let me play. I‘ve just got to play today," said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game. But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said."You can go in." Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked, and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you never heard.

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that this young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone The coach came to him and said, " Kid, I can‘t believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"

He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?" The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"

Like the athlete‘s father, God is always there cheering for us. He‘s always reminding us to go on. He‘s even offering us His hand for He knows what is best, and is willing to give us what we need and not simply what we want. GOD has never missed a single game. What a joy to know that life is meaningful if lived for the Highest. Live for HIM for He‘s watching us in the game of life!

The game was scheduled to start at start at eight o’clock on Friday night. Long before that, people began to arrive at the gymnasium.

By seven-thirty the seats were almost filled. The school band was there; they wore yellow and black uniforms. They started to play at about a quarter to eight. Everybody stood up, and the people sang. The game was about to start. Two teams ran out to the floor. The referee blew his whistle, and the game started. A basketball game is divided into two halves, and each half is divided into two quarters.

There is a rest period between the halves. During the first five minutes of the second half, the score was tied. From then on, the game was very exciting. First one team made a basket, then the other. The people cheered, and everybody was wondering which team was going to win.

Helen Keller once wrote about these early days.

One beautiful spring morning I was alone in my room, reading. Suddenly a wonderful smell in the air made me get up and put out my hands . The spirit of spring seemed to be passing in my room. "What is it?"I asked. The next minute I knew it was coming from mimosa tree outside. I walked outside to the edge of the garden, toward the tree. There it was, shaking in the warm sunshine. Its long branches, so heavy with flowers, almost touched the ground. I walked through the flowers to the tree itself and then just stood silent. Then I put my foot on the tree and pulled myself up into it. I climbed higher and higher until I reached a little seat. Long ago someone had put it there. I sat for a long time... Nothing in all the world was like this.

Later Helen learned that nature could be cruel as well as beautiful. Strangely enough she discovery this in a different kind of tree.

One day my teacher and I were returning from a long walk. It was a fine morning but it started to get warm and heavy. We stopped to rest two or three times. Our last stop was under a cherry tree, a short way from our house. The shade was nice and the tree was easy to climb. Miss Sullivan climbed with me. It was so coot up in the tree, we decided to have lunch there. I promised to sit still until she went to the house for some food. Suddenly a change came over the tree. I knew the sky was black because all the heat which meant light to me had died out of the air. A strange odor came up to me from the earth . I knew it. It was the odor which always comes before a thunder storm. I felt alone, cut off from friends, high above the firm earth. I was frightened and wanted my teacher. wanted to get down from that tree quickly, but I was no help to myself. There was a moment of terrible silence. Then a sudden and violent wind began to shake the tree and its leaves kept coming down all around me. I almost fell. I wanted to jump, but was afraid to do so. I tried to make myself small in the tree as the branches rubbed against me. Just us I thought that both the tree and I were going to fall, a hand touched me . It was my teacher. I held her with all my strength, then shook with joy to feel the solid earth under my feet.

Miss Sullivan stayed with Helen for many year. She taught Helen how to read, how to write and how to speak. She helped her to get ready for school and college. More than anything, Helen wanted to do what others did, and do it just as well. In time Helen did go to college and completed her studies with high honors. But it was a hard struggle. Few of the books she needed were written in the Braille language that the blind could read by touching pages. Miss Sullivan and others had to teach her what was in these books by forming words in her hands. The study of geometry and physics was especially difficult. Helen could only learn about squares, triangles and other geometrical forms by making them with wires. She kept feeling the different shapes of these wires until she could see them in her mind.

During her second year college Miss Keller wrote the story of her life and what a college meant to her. This is what she wrote.

My first day at Radcliffe college was of great interest. Some powerful force inside me made me test my mind. I wanted to learn if it was as good as that of others. I learned many things at college. One thing I slowly learned was that knowledge does not just mean power, as some people say. Knowledge leads to happiness because to have it is to know what is true and real. To know what great man of the past had thought, said, and done is to feel the heartbeat of humanity down through the ages.

All of Helen Kellers knowledge reached her mind through her sense of touch and smell, and of course her feelings. To know a flower was to touch it, feel it and smell it. This sense of touch became greatly developed as she got older. She once said that hands speak almost as loudly as words. She said the touch of some hands frightened her. The people seemed so empty of joy that when she touched their cold fingers it is as if she were shaking bands with a storm. She found the hands of others full of sunshine and warmth. Strangely enough Helen Keller learned to love things she could not hear, music for example. She did this through her sense of touch. When waves of air beat against her, she felt them. Sometimes she put her hand to a singers throat. She often stood for hours with her hands on a piano while it was played. Once she listened to an organ. Its powerful songs made her moved her body in rhythm with the music. She also liked to go to museums. She thought she understood sculptures as well as others. Her fingers told her the true size and the feel of the material.

What did Helen Keller think of herself, what did she think about the tragic lost of her sight and hearing. This is what she wrote as a young girl.

Sometimes a sense of loneliness covers me like a cold mist. I sit alone, and wait at life s shut-door. Beyond there is light and music and sweet friendship. But I may not enter. Silence sits heavy upon my soul. Then comes hope with a sweet smile and said

softly " There is joy in forgetting oneself And so I tried to make the light in others eyes my sun, the music in others ears my symphony, the smile on others lips my happiness.

Helen Keller was tall and strong. When she spoke, her face looked very alive. It helped to give meaning to her words. She often felt the faces of close friends when she was talking to them to discover their feelings. She and Miss Sullivan both were known for their sense of humor. They enjoyed jokes and laughing at funny things that happened to themselves or others. Helen Keller had to work hard to support herself after she finished college. She spoke to many groups around the country. She wrote several books and she made one movie based on her life. Her main goal was to increase public interest in the difficulties of people with physical problems. The work Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan did has been written and talked about for many years. Their success showed how people can conquer great difficulties. Anne Sullivan died in 1936, blind herself. Before Miss Sullivan died, Helen wrote and said many kind things about her.

It was the genius of my teacher, her sympathy, her love which made my first years of education so beautiful. My teacher is so near to me that I do not think of myself as a part from her. All the best of me belongs to her. Everything I am today was awakened by her loving touch .

Helen Keller died on June 1st, 1968. She was 87 year old. Her message of courage and hope remains.

When I was very small, I liked to read novels and watched all kinds of

detective cartoons. In my heart, I have a small dream. I want to be a writer. So

I have written some short stories, but I am very shy and never let others to see

it. I keep revising the stories and when I am ready, I want my best friend to be

my first reader.

雄鹰

A boy found an eagles egg and he put it in the nest of a prairie chicken. The eagle hatched and thought he was a chicken. He grew up doing what prairie chicken do-scratching at the dirt for food and flying short distances with a noisy fluttering of wings. It was a dreary life. Gradually the eagle grew older and bitter. One day he and his prairie chicken friend saw a beautiful bird soaring on the currents of air, high above the mountains.

"Oh, I wish I could fly like that!" said the eagle. The chicken replied, "Dont give it another thought. Thats the mighty eagle, the king of all birds-you could never be like him!" And the eagle didnt give it another thought. He went on cackling and complaining about life. He died thinking he was a prairie chicken. My friends, you too were born an eagle. The Creator intended you to be an eagle, so don’t listen to the prairie chickens!

一个小男孩发现了一只老鹰下的蛋，把它放进了一只山鸡的窝里。鹰被孵出来了，但他以为自己是一只山鸡。渐渐的他长大了，却做着山鸡所做的事---从泥土里寻找食物，做短距离的飞翔，翅膀还啪啪作响。生活非常沉闷，渐渐地鹰长大了，也越来越苦恼。有一天，他和他的山鸡朋友看见一只美丽的鸟在天空翱翔，飞的比山还高。

“哦，我要能飞的那么高该多好啊！”鹰说。山鸡回答说，“不要想了，那是凶猛无比的鹰，鸟中之王---你不可能像他一样！”于是鹰放弃了那个念头。他继续咯咯地叫，不停的抱怨生活。最后他死了，依然认为自己是一只山鸡。朋友们，你们天生就是雄鹰。造物主有意把你造就成一只雄鹰，所以不要听信山鸡的话！

人们总是说，幽默是一个人智慧的凝聚。下面小编为大家整理了幽默的哲理故事，希望对你有帮助。

01.

老鼠掉进了半满的米缸，意外让它喜不自禁。确定没有危险后，它便开始了在米缸里吃了睡、睡了吃的生活。很快，米缸就要见底了，可它终究还是摆脱不了大米的诱惑，继续留在缸里。最后，米吃完了，它才发现，跳出去只是梦想，一切都无能为力了。

感悟：

我们的生活看似平坦，其实到处都是危机。

02.

第一天，小白兔去钓鱼，一无所获。第二天，它又去钓鱼，还是如此。第三天它刚到，一条大鱼从河里跳出来，大叫：你要是再敢用胡萝卜当鱼饵，我就扁死你

感悟：

你给的都是你自己“想”给的，而不是对方想要的，活在自己世界里的付出，不值钱。

03.

在一次宴会上，马克吐温与一位女士对坐，出于礼貌，说了一声：您真漂亮!那位女士却不领情，高傲地说：可惜我无法同样来赞美您!马克吐温委婉平和地说：那没关系，你可以像我一样，说一句谎话就行了。那位女士羞愧地低下了头

感悟：

你扔下的石头，绊倒的往往是你自己。

04.

一个朋友是医生，一次癌症手术，打开后发现切不了，只好再缝上。去和病人解释情况，那病人农村来的，听不懂术语，坚持认为手术过了，病就好了。只好让其出院，一年后回访，真的好了，癌细胞消失了。

感悟：

乐观的心态是最好的手术。

05.

女生公开投票选班花，相貌平平的小梅发表演说：如果我当选，再过几年，在座的姐妹可以向自己先生骄傲的说，我上大学时，比班花还漂亮!结果，她全票当选!

感悟：说服别人支持你，不一定要证明比别人都优秀，而是要让别人觉得，因为有你，他们才变得更优秀、更有成就感。

06.

小男孩问爸爸：“是不是父亲总比儿子知道得多?”爸爸回答：“当然啦!”“电灯是谁发明的?”“爱迪生。”“那爱迪生的爸爸怎么没有发明电灯?”

感悟：权威往往只是一个经不起考验的空壳子，尤其在现今这个多元开放的时代。

07

禅师问，天空大吗?弟子说，大。树叶大吗?弟子说，不大。禅师问，天空能挡住人的眼睛吗?弟子说，不能。树叶能挡住人的眼睛吗?弟子说，能。

感悟：挡住人们视线的、迷失人们心智的、阻碍人们前进的，往往是生活中的一小片“树叶”、一小点疙瘩、一小步坎坷。

08

有两个观光团旅游，有一段路况很坏，到处都是坑洞。一位导游连声说：“路面简直像麻子一样。”而另一个导游却诗意盎然地对游客说：“我们现在走的正是当地有名的迷人酒窝大道。”

感悟：虽是同样的情况，然而不同的意念，就会产生不同的态度。思想是何等奇妙的事，如何去想，决定权在你。

09.

一滴墨汁落在一杯清水里，这杯水立即变色，不能喝了;一滴墨汁融在大海里，大海依然是蔚蓝色的大海。为什么?因为两者的肚量不一样。不熟的麦穗直刺刺地向上挺着，成熟的麦穗低垂着头。

感悟：为什么?因为两者的份量不一样。宽容别人，就是肚量;谦卑自己，就是份量;合起来，就是一个人的质量。

英语寓言故事The Prophet

The Prophet

A WIZARD, sitting in the marketplace, was telling the fortunes of

the passers-by when a person ran up in great haste, and

announced to him that the doors of his house had been broken open

and that all his goods were being stolen. He sighed heavily and

hastened away as fast as he could run. A neighbor saw him

running and said, "Oh! you fellow there! you say you can foretell

the fortunes of others; how is it you did not foresee your own?

真的小猛士：美国9岁男孩徒手斗鳄鱼

A brave 9-year-old is recovering in hospital after he wrestled a 9-foot, 400lb alligator off him with his bare hands - and he now plans to make a necklace from a tooth doctors found embedded in a wound on his back.

美国佛罗里达州一名9岁的小男孩，在湖中游泳时，遭到一条长9英尺(约2.7米长)、重400磅(约180多公斤)的短吻鳄袭击，赤手与其搏斗之后，小男孩身上多处受伤，目前正在医院治疗中。医生从他背部的伤口里取出一颗短吻鳄的牙齿，小男孩表示想把它做成项链。

James Barney Jr, spoke calmly and eloquently about his ordeal from hospital, where he was tucked up in bed with a teddy bear by his side. He was covered in some 30 teeth marks, doctors said.

小男孩名叫小詹姆斯·巴尼，他在医院里平静、生动地讲述了自己与短吻鳄搏斗的经历，在他床边还放有一只泰迪熊。医生说，小詹姆斯全身有30多处牙印。

The little boy described how it was a hot day so he had parked his bike and jumped into Lake Tohopekaliga - a lake that people are forbidden to swim in - when he felt something brush against his leg.

小詹姆斯说那天特别热，于是他就把自行车停在一旁自己跳进了托霍普卡莱加湖，这个湖是禁止人们在里面游泳的，刚一进去他就感觉有东西擦到他的腿了。

It really amazed me what happened. At first, I thought someone was just playing with me, and I didnt know what happened, he told ABC.

“后来发生的事情真的让我大吃一惊。但开始的时候，我以为是有人在跟我闹着玩，我并不知道发生了什么事情。”他告诉美国广播公司(ABC)的记者。

I reached down to grab it, and I felt its jaw, I felt its teeth, and I didnt know what to do, so I immediately reacted and hit it a couple times. And I had enough strength to pry its jaw open. The child pulled the powerful jaws open long enough to slide out and swim to shore.

“我潜入水中抓住了它，摸到了它的下巴，摸到了它的牙齿，可不知道该怎么做，不过我立刻就反应过来了赶紧猛打了它几下，并使劲撑开了它的嘴巴。”小詹姆斯把它的嘴巴撑得足够大后赶紧退后并向岸边游去。

Witnesses say the boy surfaced, screaming that hed been bitten by an alligator. They immediately called 911.

目击者称小男孩浮出水面后尖叫着说自己被一只短吻鳄咬到了。于是他们立刻拨打911报警。

[英语的寓言故事The Prophet

Running is a whole body movement,which enables the bodys muscles rhythmic contraction and relaxation,so that muscle fiber

Dimension increased,protein content increased.Fit and muscular is one of the symbols.

Skeleton is the body of the stent,human activities leverage.In a period of growth and development of young people,adhere to running

Step can improve blood circulation,increase the supply of nutrients in bone cells increase bone cell growth capacity,from the

And to promote the normal development of the bone.The elderly,reduced metabolism,muscle gradually shrink,and bones appeared back

Line of change in bone and joint disease is also increasing.Persist in running can enhance metabolism,delayed bone

Degenerative changes,prevention of bone and joint disease in the elderly occur,so that you slow down aging.

The Blacksmith And Dog

Those who will not work deserve to starve.

A Blacksmith had a little Dog, which used to sleep when his master was at work, but was very wide awake indeed when it was time for meals.

One day his master pretended to be disgusted at this, xiaogushi8.com and then he had thrown him a bone as usual, he said, “What on earth is the good of a lazy cur like you?”

When I am hammering away at my anvil, you just curl up and go to sleep: but no sooner do I stop for a mouthful of food than you wake up and wag your tail to be fed.

海洋大王蓝鲸在珊瑚礁举行了第二十届海洋游泳比赛。

这次的参赛选手有美丽的小海豚和扁扁的魔鬼鱼。海洋大王蓝鲸把比赛日期定在一星期后。在这紧张的七天里，海豚开始了夜以继日的训练，而自大的魔鱼却在家里痴心妄想地的说:我肯定是冠军！比赛开始了，海豚和魔鬼鱼都像一个出膛的子弹一样，但由于它实力的偏差，魔鬼鱼一直遥遥领先！赛程已经过半，魔鬼鱼看着触手可及的冠军，于是就故意放慢了速度，心想:游得这么慢，我就游慢点等等你！魔鬼里想着想着，露出了贪婪的笑容。这时，海豚加速，以迅雷不及掩耳之势超过了魔鬼鱼，获得了冠军。

又过了两年，海洋大王蓝鲸在海草湖举行了第二十一届海洋游泳大赛。这次的参赛选手是上一届的冠军海豚和海洋大王蓝鲸的儿子——小蓝鲸。在比赛前小蓝鲸在外面训练，而海豚却在家里天天呼呼大睡，不训练。比赛开始了，海豚故意让小蓝鲸先游，心想:我是上一届的冠军，这一届我肯定志在必得！结果，小蓝鲸成了冠军！小金鱼轻蔑地对海豚说:“有人骄傲了，让别人先游了。”海豚听了这话，伤心的痛哭起来。

小蓝鲸游过来，说:”别哭了，这次只是骄傲占据了你，其实你是可以赢的。下一届我们再一分高下！”海豚听了，立马就不哭，“嗯。”它擦擦眼泪，“下一届我们一分高下！”