英语幽默故事比赛英语作文(优秀20篇)

二（6）班廖婧瑶

今天，我们二年级段讲故事比赛太精彩了！

印象最深刻的是谢林果同学，她讲的《灯孩儿》的故事让我非常感动，最后灯孩儿为了小盲孩牺牲了自己，把光明带给小盲孩让他重见光明。但我相信灯孩儿下一年还会来的。

还有黄星皓同学，他讲的是《我的幸运一天》，讲得非常搞笑，尤其是里面的那只猪，超级可爱！好像从头到尾我都是咧着嘴听完他的故事，心情都变得轻松、开心！

我心里也跃跃欲试，好想上台表演，但是我不够勇敢，没准备好，我相信自己总有那么一天！

2019年5月6日星期一晴

海洋大王蓝鲸在珊瑚礁举行了第二十届海洋游泳比赛。

这次的参赛选手有美丽的小海豚和扁扁的魔鬼鱼。海洋大王蓝鲸把比赛日期定在一星期后。在这紧张的七天里，海豚开始了夜以继日的训练，而自大的魔鱼却在家里痴心妄想地的说:我肯定是冠军！比赛开始了，海豚和魔鬼鱼都像一个出膛的子弹一样，但由于它实力的偏差，魔鬼鱼一直遥遥领先！赛程已经过半，魔鬼鱼看着触手可及的冠军，于是就故意放慢了速度，心想:游得这么慢，我就游慢点等等你！魔鬼里想着想着，露出了贪婪的笑容。这时，海豚加速，以迅雷不及掩耳之势超过了魔鬼鱼，获得了冠军。

又过了两年，海洋大王蓝鲸在海草湖举行了第二十一届海洋游泳大赛。这次的参赛选手是上一届的冠军海豚和海洋大王蓝鲸的儿子——小蓝鲸。在比赛前小蓝鲸在外面训练，而海豚却在家里天天呼呼大睡，不训练。比赛开始了，海豚故意让小蓝鲸先游，心想:我是上一届的冠军，这一届我肯定志在必得！结果，小蓝鲸成了冠军！小金鱼轻蔑地对海豚说:“有人骄傲了，让别人先游了。”海豚听了这话，伤心的痛哭起来。

小蓝鲸游过来，说:”别哭了，这次只是骄傲占据了你，其实你是可以赢的。下一届我们再一分高下！”海豚听了，立马就不哭，“嗯。”它擦擦眼泪，“下一届我们一分高下！”

龙王住在海底深处，传说它是水族中的至尊，水中一切动物都是它的臣民；龙王还能呼风唤雨，它的一举一动都会给民间百姓带来很大影响，因此，民间百姓虽不是水族动物，也同样对龙王顶礼膜拜。

一天，龙王出外巡游，在海滨遇上了一只青蛙。龙王和青蛙相互致以问候以后，便友好地攀谈起来。

青蛙问：“龙大王您居住的地方是怎样的呀？”

龙王说：“我住在宫殿里，那不是一般的宫殿，那是海底宫殿，是用珍珠宝贝建造的，里面珠光宝气、金碧辉煌。”

接着龙王又问青蛙说：“那么你居住的地方又是什么样子呢？”

青蛙回答说：“我住的地方嘛，在山间小溪边，那里有绿色的苔藓和碧绿的青草，还有清亮的泉水和洁白的山石，简直美丽极啦！”说着，青蛙高兴起来，便问龙王道：“龙大王，您高兴和发怒的时候是怎样的呢？”

龙王说：“我高兴的时候，就给人间适时降下滋润的雨水，使五谷丰登；我发怒的时候，就刮起暴风，使天地间飞沙走石，然后，再加以霹雷闪电，使得千里之内寸草难留。”说完，龙王又问青蛙说：“不知你在高兴和发怒的时候是怎样的？”

青蛙回答说：“我跟龙大王您完全不一样。我高兴了，就在风清月明的夜晚亮起我的歌喉，一个劲地‘呱呱’鸣叫，唱上一阵；我要是发怒了，就先睁大眼睛凸出眼珠子，接着便鼓胀起我的肚子，表示我的气愤，最后把肚子这么胀过以后也就罢了。我就这么大能耐。”

其实，世上万事万物间的差别是很大的，有多大能力就干多大的事情、起多大的作用，因此没必要强求一个标准、一种模式，还是根据各自力所能及的实际情况办事为好。

从前有一个人，性格极为吝啬，不光对别人吝啬，对自己也是如此。有一次，在外出的路上，遇上河水忽然上涨，吝啬人不肯出摆渡钱，他自己冒着生命危险涉水。

谁知他刚到河中的时候，水势突然凶猛起来，他被冲倒了，在水中漂流了大概半里路。

他的儿子在岸上，十分着急，却帮不上忙，只得寻找船只去救助。船夫出价，要一钱才肯前去救助，可是儿子只同意出价五分，为了争执渡船的价钱相持了好长时间，而且一直没有决断。

这时候，落水人在垂死的紧要关头还对着他的儿子大声呼喊：“我的儿子呀!如果出价五分就来救，一钱就不要来救!”

【大道理】：

不要把钱看得太重，让自己成了守财奴。

海伦用顽强的毅力克服生理缺陷所造成的精神痛苦。她热爱生活，会骑马、滑雪、下棋，还喜欢戏剧演出，喜爱参观博物馆和名胜古迹，并从中得到知识。她21岁时，和老师合作发表了她的处女作《我生活的故事》。在以后的60多年中她共写下了14部著作。以下是海伦凯勒的英语故事，欢迎阅读。

Helen Keller is an American blind and deaf writer and handicapped educator. Born on June 27, 1880 in northern Alabama, a town called taskama biya. She lost her sight and hearing in nineteen months, and then she lost her language skills. In this dark and lonely world, however, she learned to read and speak for her mentor, Anne Sullivan, and began to communicate with others. He graduated from Radcliffe college with honors and became a famous writer and educator with five languages of English, French, German, Latin and Greek. She travels through the United States and around the world, raising money for blind schools and dedicating her life to the blind welfare and the education career. She has won praise from all over the world and has been honoured by many national governments. The main works have "if give me three days light", "my life", "my teacher" etc. Helen Keller wrote 14 books in her life.

Helen Keller became blind and deaf as a child, but she went through college with great difficulty. She has written more than a dozen works in her life, while working to save children, protect womens rights and fight for racial equality. He was awarded the presidential medal of freedom in 1964.

She groped her way up in the dark. At the age of seven, the family hired a tutor for her, the teacher who influenced Helens life. Sullivan was almost blind as a child and understood the pain of loss of light. Under the guidance of her hard work, Helen learned to learn sign language by hand touch, she learned to read by touch, then she touched others lips and finally learned to speak.

Miss Sullivan, in order to bring Helen to nature, let her roll on the grass, run and jump in the fields, sow seeds in the fields, and climb trees to eat. Take her to touch the newborn pig, also to the river to play water. Under the care of her teacher, Helen overcame blindness and deafness and completed her college education.

Helen was very sad when she left the world in 1936 with her teacher for fifty years. Helen knew that without the love of her teacher, she would not have been today, determined to carry forward the love that the teacher gave her. So Helen traveled all over the United States in large and small cities, traveling around the world, working for people with disabilities, and working for those who were unhappy.

In 1968, Helen died at the age of 89, and she devoted all her life to the service of disabled people throughout the world. She wrote a lot of books and her story was made into a movie. Miss Sullivan gave her the most precious love, and she spread love to all the unfortunate people, giving them light and hope.

After her death, her strong will and outstanding contribution touched the whole world, and people everywhere celebrated her activities

"If give me three days light" is Helen Kellers prose masterpiece, she with a waist weak womans point of view, warned able-bodied people should cherish life, cherish the creator of all things. In addition, my life story, which is included in this book, is Helen Kellers autobiographical work, which is honored as "the greatest masterpiece in world literature history".

March 3, 1887, it was a very important day for Helen. On this day, she was brought in by a teacher, miss Anne Sullivan. Annie taught her to write and sign language. "No one can imagine how surprised and happy I am," said Mr. Yannagno of the boggins blind school, when he read a letter of the French letter with a look of surprise. For I believe in her ability, but also difficult to believe that her 3 months of learning is such good results, in the United States, other people to achieve this level, have to spend time in a year." Helen was nine years old

In the summer of 1894, Helen attended the American association for the advancement of deaf people, and was arranged to attend the school of the deaf in New York City, studying mathematics, nature, French, and German. Within a few months she could converse freely in German; In less than a year, she had finished her German work, William tell. Teachers who teach French do not understand sign language and have to be dictated. In spite of this, Helen soon mastered French and read the novel "the forced doctor" twice. During her time in New York, Helen got to know many friends of the literary world. Mark Twain read her wonderful short stories for her, and they established a sincere friendship. In her quiet home on the Merrimac river, Dr. Holmes read the poems of rouse bean, and when she read the last two pages, holmes placed a statue of a slave in her hand. "She was the emancipator of your mind," holmes told Helen. The doctor was referring to miss Anne. Helens heart was filled with excitement, the worlds beautiful thoughts, deep love, and solid pursuit, all like spring seeds deeply implanted in the heart. Helen confidently said, "Im going to college someday! Im going to harvard!" The day finally came. Harvard Universitys Radcliffe womens college has arranged her entrance exams in a special way. She used her hand to touch the raised braille, and then answered the question with a typewriter. Nine hours before and after, all subjects passed, English and German were the best grades, Helen started college with a keen heart.

In June 1904, Helen graduated from Radcliffe with honors. Two years later, she was appointed chairman of the Massachusetts blind committee and began a social work for the blind. She received the visiting blind people every day, and returned the same letters. Later on, she toured the country, traveling for the promotion of blind blind education plans and treatment plans. By 1921, the American foundation for the blind was finally founded. Helen, one of the groups leaders, has been working hard to strengthen the foundations work. In her busy work, she never put down her pen and finished 14 books successively. "The story of my life", "the song of the stone wall" "out of the dark," "optimism" and so on, all have a worldwide impact. Helens last work was the teacher, she has to collect the book notes and letters of 20 years, and all this and three-quarters of the manuscripts were burned in a fire, burn and braille library, along with their exquisite craft gifts from all over the world. If another person might be disheartened, but Helen felt more determined to finish it, and she sat quietly before the typewriter, and began to trudge again and again. Ten years later, Helen finished her book. She was relieved that the book was a gift to her teacher, and the teacher Anne was very proud of it.

On November 15, 1956, erect perkins the blind school in the United States on a plaque at the entrance of the curtain, with trembling hands, unveiled by Helen, it read: Helen Keller and Anne Su Liwen · wheat west. This is not a common plaque, but for those who have written a prominent chapter in the history of human civilization. Indeed, Helen has dedicated her life to the welfare of the blind and the cause of the education, which has earned the respect of people all over the world, and the United Nations has launched the "Helen Keller" world campaign. On June 1, 1968, Helen Keller, a deaf and blind scholar, writer, educator, who wrote the history of human civilization, passed away in flowers. However, her indomitable fighting spirit, her legendary life, but always in the history, just as the famous writer Mark Twain said: "in the 19th century appeared two great figures, one is napoleon, one is Helen Keller."

海伦·凯勒是美国盲聋哑女作家和残障教育家。1880年6月27日出生于亚拉巴马州北部一个叫塔斯喀姆比亚的城镇。她在19个月的时候因猩红热夺去了她的视力和听力，接着，她又丧失了语言表达能力。然而就在这黑暗而又寂寞的世界里，她因为她的导师安妮·沙利文的努力，使她学会读书和说话，并开始和其他人沟通。而且以优异的成绩毕业于美国拉德克利夫学院，成为一个学识渊博，掌握英、法、德、拉丁、希腊五种文字的著名作家和教育家。她走遍美国和世界各地，为盲人学校募集资金，把自己的一生献给了盲人福利和教育事业。她赢得了世界各国人民的赞扬，并得到许多国家政府的嘉奖。主要作品有《假如给我三天光明》、《我的生活》、《我的老师》等。海伦·凯勒一生一共写了14部著作。

海伦·凯勒自幼因病成为盲聋哑人，但她自强不息，克服巨大困难读完大学。一生写了十几部作品，同时致力于救助伤残儿童，保护妇女权益和争取种族平等的社会活动。1964年获得总统自由勋章。

她在黑暗中摸索着长大。七岁那一年，家里为她请了一位家庭教师，也就是影响海伦一生的沙利文老师。沙利文在小时候眼睛也差点失明，了解失去光明的痛苦。在她辛苦的指导下，海伦用手触摸学会手语，摸点字卡学会了读书，后来用手摸别人的嘴唇，终于学会说话了。

沙利文老师为了让海伦接近大自然，让她在草地上打滚，在田野跑跑跳跳，在地里埋下种子，爬到树上吃饭;还带她去摸一摸刚出生的小猪，也到河边去玩水。海伦在老师爱的关怀下，竟然克服失明与失聪的障碍，完成了大学学业。

1936年，和她朝夕相处五十年的老师离开人间，海伦非常的伤心。海伦知道，如果没有老师的爱，就没有今天的她，决心要把老师给她的爱发扬光大。于是，海伦跑遍美国大大小小的城市，周游世界，为残障的人到处奔走，全心全力为那些不幸的人服务。

1968年，海伦89岁去世，她把所有终生致力服务残障人士的事迹，传遍全世界。她写了很多书，她的故事还拍成了电影。沙利文老师把最珍贵的爱给了她，她又把爱散播给所有不幸的人，带给他们光明和希望。

死后，因为她坚强的意志和卓越的贡献感动了全世界.并且各地人民都开展了纪念她的活动

《假如给我三天光明》是海伦·凯勒的散文代表作，她以一个身残志坚的柔弱女子的视角，告诫身体健全的人们应珍惜生命，珍惜造物主赐予的一切。此外，本书中收录的《我的人生故事》是海伦·凯勒的本自传性作品，被誉为“世界文学史上无与伦比的杰作”。

1887年3月3日，对海伦来说这是个极重要的日子。这一天，家里为她请来了一位教师——安妮·沙莉文小姐。安妮教会她写字、手语。当波金斯盲人学校的亚纳格诺先生以惊讶的神情读到一封海伦完整地道的法文信后，这样写道：“谁也难以想象我是多么地惊奇和喜悦。对于她的能力我素来深信不疑，可也难以相信，她3个月的学习就取得这么好的成绩，在美国，别的人要达到这程度，就得花一年工夫。”这时，海伦才9岁

1894年夏天，海伦出席了美国聋人语言教学促进会，并被安排到纽约赫马森聋人学校上学，学习数学、自然、法语、德语。没过几个月，她便可以自如地用德语交谈;不到一年，她便读完了德文作品《威廉·退尔》。教法语的教师不懂手语字母，不得不进行口授;尽管这样，海伦还是很快掌握了法语，并把小说《被强迫的医生》读了两遍。在纽约期间，海伦结识了文学界的许多朋友。马克·吐温为她朗读自己的精彩短篇小说，他们建立了真挚友谊。霍姆斯博士在梅里迈克河边幽静的家里为她读《劳斯·豆》诗集，当读到最后两页时，霍姆斯把一个奴隶塑像放在她手中。这个蹲着的奴隶身上的锁链正好掉落下来，霍姆斯对海伦说：“她是你思想的解放者。”博士指的是安妮小姐。海伦的心中一阵激动，人世间美好的思想情操，隽永深沉的爱心，以及踏踏实实的追求，都像春天的种子深深植入心田。海伦从小便自信地说：“有朝一日，我要上大学读书!我要去哈佛大学!”这一天终于来了。哈佛大学拉德克利夫女子学院以特殊方式安排她入学考试。只见她用手在凸起的盲文上熟练地摸来摸去，然后用打字机回答问题。前后9个小时，各科全部通过，英文和德文还得了优等成绩，海伦怀着热切的心情开始了大学生活。

1904年6月，海伦以优异的成绩从拉德克里夫学院毕业。两年后，她被任命为麻萨诸塞州盲人委员会主席，开始了为盲人服务的社会工作。她每天都接待来访的盲人，还要回复雪片一样飞来的信件。后来，她又在全美巡回演讲，为促进实施聋盲人教育计划和治疗计划而奔波。到了1921年，终于成立了美国盲人基金会民间组织。海伦是这个组织的领导人之一，她一直为加强基金会的工作而努力。在繁忙的工作中，她始终没有放下手中的笔，先后完成了14部著作。《我生活的故事》《石墙之歌》《走出黑暗》《乐观》等，都产生了世界范围的影响。海伦的最后一部作品是《老师》，她曾为这本书搜集了20年的笔记和信件，而这一切和四分之三的文稿却都在一场火灾中烧毁，连同它们一起烧掉的还有布莱叶文图书室、各国赠送的精巧工艺礼品。如果换一个人也许心灰意冷，可海伦痛定思痛，更加坚定了完成它的决心，她不声不响地坐到了打字机前，开始了又一次艰难的跋涉。10年之后，海伦完成了书稿。她很欣慰，这本书是献给安妮老师的一份厚礼，老师安妮也为此而感到无比骄傲。

1956年11月15日，竖立在美国波金斯盲童学校入口处的一块匾额上的幕布，由海伦用颤抖的手揭开了，上面写着：纪念海伦·凯勒和安妮·苏莉文·麦西。这不是一块普通的匾额，而是为那些在人类文明史上写下了突出篇章的人们所设立的。的确，海伦把一生献给了盲人福利和教育事业，赢得了全世界人民的尊敬，联合国还曾发起“海伦·凯勒”世界运动。1968年6月1日，海伦·凯勒——这位谱写出人类文明史上辉煌生命赞歌的聋哑盲学者、作家、教育家，在鲜花包围中告别了人世。然而，她那不屈不挠的奋斗精神，她那带有传奇色彩的一生，却永远载入了史册，正如著名作家马克·吐温所言：“19世纪出现了两个了不起的人物，一个是拿破仑，一个就是海伦·凯勒。”

法国一个偏僻的小镇，据传有一个特别灵验的水泉，常会出现神迹，可以医治各种疾病。有一天，一个拄着拐杖，少了一条腿的退伍军人，一跛一跛的走过镇上的马路，旁边的镇民带着同情的回吻说：“可怜的家伙，难道他要向上帝祈求再有一条腿吗?”这一句话被退伍的军人听到了，他转过身对他们说：“我不是要向上帝祈求有一条新的腿，而是要祈求他帮助我，叫我没有一条腿后，也知道如何过日子。”

试想：学习为所失去的感恩，也接纳失去的事实，不管人生的得与失，总是要让自已的生命充满了亮丽与光彩，不再为过去掉泪，努力的活出自己的生命。

小蜗牛问妈妈：为什么我们从生下来，就要背负这个又硬又重的壳呢?

妈妈：因为我们的身体没有骨骼的支撑，只能爬，又爬不快。所以要这个壳的保护!

小蜗牛：毛虫姊姊没有骨头，也爬不快，为什么她却不用背这个又硬又重的壳呢?

妈妈：因为毛虫姊姊能变成蝴蝶，天空会保护她啊。

小蜗牛：可是蚯蚓弟弟也没骨头爬不快，也不会变成蝴蝶他什么不背这个又硬又重的壳呢?

妈妈：因为蚯蚓弟弟会钻土，大地会保护他啊。

小蜗牛哭了起来：我们好可怜，天空不保护，大地也不保护。

蜗牛妈妈安慰他：所以我们有壳啊!我们不靠天，也不靠地，我们靠自己。

一条大蟒蛇和一条小毒蛇是朋友。这天他们在路边发现了一只巨大的乌龟。蛇兄弟想，这么大的个儿，但是一顿美餐啊。蟒蛇说：我来对付他。于是蟒蛇施展自己的绝技，用身体将大乌龟牢牢地缠住。而大乌龟早已将身体缩进了壳里，任凭蟒蛇怎样缠绕，也无法伤害到大乌龟。泄气的蟒蛇，气喘吁吁地爬到了一边。大乌龟谨慎地露出脑袋，在他露出脑袋的那一瞬间，小毒蛇闪电般地在乌龟脑袋上咬了一口，大乌龟又急忙缩回壳中。但是几分钟后，大乌龟正因中毒而死了。蟒蛇：哇！我花了那么大力气也没能伤害乌龟，你却轻而易举地办到了啊。小毒蛇说：正因我了解他的要害。但是接下来的还是有一个问题，大乌龟死后依然缩在壳里，两条蛇都是吞食性的动物，而他们又无法脱下乌龟的外壳，只好怏怏地离开了……

这个故事告诉我们：即使你擅长死缠烂打，也未必能泡到那个妞，要了解那个妞才能够。这个故事还告诉我们：如果你无法脱下那个妞的衣服，就不好再花力气去泡她了。

上个星期，老师告诉我们要举行一次讲雷锋故事的活动，我们听了，就开始准备起来。

星期二上午第一节课老师就让我们讲故事了。我觉得赵宇鸿和戎天歌讲的故事不错，她们都讲了《一次义务劳动》这个故事。这个故事主要讲了：雷锋肚子疼，就去开了点药。回来的路上，他看见很多人都忙来忙去的，他走上前才知道原来他们正在给北西路小学盖大楼，雷锋就跟着他们一起干了起来。雷锋肚子疼还去参加这次义务劳动真的很感人。我是星期五讲故事的，我讲的故事叫《好事做了一火车》。其实我在家里准备了许多动作，但是讲故事的时候由于紧张忘了加动作。星期五讲故事的很多，我觉得我讲的不错。

我觉得讲雷锋小故事这个活动既锻炼了我们的胆量，又让我们知道了许多关于雷锋的事情。我非常喜欢这次活动。

[二年级雷锋的故事300字作文

In china, people believe that, at the beginning, the tiger and the cat were friends, and the cat was much smarter than the tiger .

The cat learned the physical skills quickly, and the tiger was always behind.    Gradually, the tiger had to learn from the cat, and the cat was patient to teach the tiger.     Day after day, month after month, finally, the tiger could also run, jump, roll, grasp, tear, and strike as well as the cat.   One summer afternoon, the cat was taking a nap as the tiger sitting nearby.   Looking at the cat, the tiger suddenly thought, why should he keep befriending with such a small animal since he had already learnt all the skills from the cat?    The evil tiger decided to kill the sleeping cat as a before dinner snack. The tiger stood up and approached the cat viciously.   Just as this moment, the cat woke up. Opening up her eyes, the smart cat immediately realized what the tiger was trying to do and swiftly jumped onto a nearby tall tree and climbed to the top branch.     The tiger thought he had already learned every skill from the cat . But he never knew that the cat had hidden the tree climbing from him.  “I kept the last technique of the tree climbing from you just because I suspected you might be can ungrateful friend.”The cat loudly told the tiger who watched under the tree helplessly.

A snake, having made his hole close to the door of a cottage, inflicted a sever bite on the cottagers little son. So the child died.

This caused much sorrow to his parents. The father decided to kill the snake. The next day, on its coming out of its hole for food, he took up his ax, but, making too much haste to hit the snake, missed its head, and cut off only the end of its tail.

After some time the cottager, lest the snake should also bite him, tried to make peace, and placed some bread and salt beside its hole, the snake, slightly hissing, said, "From now on there can be no peace between us; for whenever I see you I shall remember the loss of my tail, and whenever you see me you will be thinking of the death of your son."

No one truly forgets injuries in the presence of him who caused the injury.

有条蛇在一家农舍的门边打了个洞，并把主人的小孩咬了一口，孩子就一命呜呼。

这对夫妇痛不欲生。孩子的父亲决意弄死那条蛇。第二天，当蛇出洞觅食之时，他举起斧头就砍那条蛇。可惜太操之过急，没砍中蛇头，只砍断了尾巴。

过了一阵子，屋主很害怕那条蛇会以牙还牙，就想同蛇讲和，于是就将一些面包和盐放在洞口。那条蛇发出丝丝的声音作出回答：“从今以后，在我们之间不会有和平。因为我一看到你，就会想自己被砍掉的尾巴;同样当你见到我时， 你会想起你死去的儿子。”

面对伤害过自己的人，我们难以真正忘记有过的创痛。

Humor is a flavor of our lives. Humor can soften relationship between

people; humor can adjust the atmosphere of different occasions; humor can bring

more fun and joy to our lives.

First, humor is very necessary in communicating with others because it can

soften relationship between people. In the process of getting along with others,

the occurrence of difference and contradiction is inevitable. Sometimes, when we

want to persuade others to agree with our points, we will find that our points

are easier to be accepted if we argue in a humorous tone.

Second, humor can adjust the atmosphere of different occasions. A person

having a good sense of humor is good at adjust the atmosphere. For example, in a

family, if the husband has a good sense humor, their family life would be more

harmonious because he can adjust the atmosphere in time to avoid the occurrence

of quarrel.

Finally, a person having a good sense of humor can bring fun and joy to

others. It is not difficult to find that a humorous person is always warmly

welcomed in any occasions because he can bring happiness to everywhere he goes.

In addition, staying with the humorous people, we will find that we will be more

positive and our lives will be more wonderful.

Therefore, all of us need to learn some skills of humor and use them

properly so that we can make our lives be more wonderful.

My name is Michael. I will tell you a story about myself. I graduated from China University of Mining and technology in 2006. I was hired by Founder Software Co., as a Net engineer in the previous 11 months.

I significantly benefit from these knowledge on Visual Studio 2005, Microsoft SQL Server 2000 etc learned in school. I am working in VaconCN now as an IT website engineer. I think I can do this job very well, at the same time; its a challenge to me. I can learn more new knowlege. I like to play badminton. I play it Xinghai Coliseum Every weekend.

Its very interesting. I also like go to KTV with my friends, I like Ben john. I think his best song is it is my life. When I headed it, this song concert blew me away.

[英语作文：我的故事

The so-called Eight Immortals refers to the eight immortal, they are: torrent, Han Chung, Lan Tsai, Chang, old, Xiangu, Han Xiang, obviously drunk and Lu Tung-pin.

One day, the Queen Mother of the West Eight Immortals birthday celebration back from the clouds over the East China Sea through, I saw choppy sea, Bailangtaotian, it is truly spectacular. Thus, the Eight Immortals decided to go to the sea and play.

Lu Tung-pin, said: "Everyone threw their treasures on the sea, it is crossed by the sea, comparison and who is more supernatural powers, how?"

Tieguaili first welcomed the recommendation, high-spirited mood he said: "Well you look at me!!" Put the crutches toward the sea, crutches like a boat floating in the water, a torrent somersault, turned upright on crutches.

Han Chung then put his palm-leaf fan thrown into the sea, standing on the top jump.

Subsequently, several other fairy also recount, Chang, old riding a donkey down, marching Lu Tung-pin male and female sword, Xiao Han Xiangzi sitting, riding Xiangu flowers, blue and standing on the green light, obviously drunk stepping jade, are floating up in the sea.

Eight Immortals secure in the surging waves along the drift, which clouds feel different, do not have a new stimulus and atmosphere, we really played with pleasure.

In this case, obviously drunk suddenly points to the right hand, and shouted:

"We see ah! There seat mirage!"

We turned around and saw a gradually rising mountains from the sea, the mountains there are trees, there are buildings, while on the up in the air, the clouds slowly into the horizon, a flash, a cloud that has been scattered by the wind a.

Han Xiang said: "We do not really treat shallow sea dragon mirage gas is booed out of gas, a rare century ah!!"

Suddenly, the blue and disappeared from them. We wait and see far and near, while calling to find, but I could not see blue and traces of old Chang guess, he said:

"East China Sea Dragon King might be trouble, he did not welcome us his prowess at sea, the blue and caught underwater to go, we go together to the underwater dignitaries go!"

We came to the Dragon Palace, Dragon King politely request release. Dragon unreasonable, not only refused, but also sent his sons to lead the minor players to kill the Eight Immortals. Eight Immortals had to use magic to carry a weapon, resisting many small, after a fierce battle, two were the Eight Immortals Dragon Prince killed.

A dragon, his two sons were killed the Eight Immortals, really extreme grief, please South China Sea, West Sea, North Sea Dragon King to help. Dragon King ton of bricks, the Eight Immortals also riled. Torrent wine gourd sea water absorbance, and the remaining few will be immortal Tarzan moved over to fling the East China Sea, the East China Sea became an immediate high.

The two sides played incredibly hard, sun and the moon light, the Lao, and Avalokiteshvara Buddha also alarmed, they all came to mediation. The results of mediation is, by the blue and the East China Sea Dragon King sent two Jade, as compensation for killing two Prince Tarzan moved back by Kannon responsible place.

Because of a dispute, the Eight Immortals Jade Emperor was downgraded first-class. Since then, the Eight Immortals no longer afraid to stir up trouble to the outside.

所谓八仙是指八位仙人，他们分别是：铁拐李、汉钟离、蓝采和、张果老、何仙姑、韩湘子、曹国舅和吕洞宾。

有一天，八仙向西王母拜寿回来，腾云驾雾从东海上空经过，只见海上波涛汹涌，白浪滔天，煞是壮观。于是，八仙决定到海面上玩一玩。

吕洞宾说：“大家把自己的宝物扔到海面上，借着它渡过大海，比一比谁更有神通，怎么样？”

铁拐李首先对这一建议表示欢迎，他兴致昂扬地说：“好啊！大家先看我的！”便把拐杖投向海中，拐杖像一条小船漂浮在水面，铁拐李一个筋斗，翻立在拐杖上。

接着汉钟离把他的芭蕉扇丢到海上，跳下去站在上面。

接着，其他几位仙人也各显神通，张果老倒骑着毛驴，吕洞宾踏着雌雄宝剑，韩湘子坐着萧，何仙姑乘着花篮，蓝采和站在拍板上，曹国舅踩着玉版，都在海面上漂浮了起来。

八仙安稳地顺着汹涌的波浪漂去，这与腾云驾雾感觉大不相同，别有一番新的刺激和情调，大家玩得好不快意。

这时，曹国舅突然用手指向右边，并高声喊道：

“大家看啊！那里有座海市蜃楼！”

大家转头一看，只见一座仙山渐渐地从海里升起，山上有树木，有楼房，一会儿就升到半空中，慢慢地变成天边的浮云，一转眼，那浮云又被风吹散了。

韩湘子说：“我们真是眼福不浅！蜃气是海里蛟龙嘘出来的气体 ，百年难得一见啊！”

突然 ，蓝采和从他们当中消失了。大家远近观望，一边找一边喊，可就是不见蓝采和的踪迹，张果老猜说：

“可能是东海龙王作怪，他不欢迎我们在他的海上大显神通，把蓝采和抓到龙宫去了，走 我们一起到龙宫要人去！”

大家来到龙宫，婉言请求龙王放人。龙王蛮不讲理，不但不肯，还派自己的几个儿子带领虾兵蟹将追杀八仙。八仙只得用随身的法宝当武器，抵抗虾兵蟹将，经过一场激烈的战斗之后，龙王的两个太子被八仙杀死了。

龙王一听，自己的两个儿子被八仙杀了，真是悲愤至极，商请南海、西海、北海龙王来帮忙。龙王的不依不饶，把八仙也给惹火了。铁拐李用酒葫芦把海水吸光，其余几位仙人将泰山搬了过来，往东海一扔，东海立刻变成了一座高 。

双方打得天昏地暗，日月无光，把太上老君、如来佛和观世音也惊动了，他们全都赶来调解。调解的结果是，由蓝采和送东海龙王两片玉版，作为杀两位太子的补偿泰山则由观世音负责搬回原处。

因为这一场纠纷，八仙被玉皇大帝降级一等。从此，八仙再也不敢到外面惹是生非了。

有一个叫高阳应的人打算盖一所房子。

他请来了很多的工人去伐树，刚砍回来的树木堆在院子里，他就对木匠说："现在木材已经齐了，一根都不少，你可以动工了。"

木匠说："不行啊！这些木材都是刚伐回来的，还没干，如果把泥抹上去，一定会被压弯。用新砍下来的湿木料盖房子，刚盖成虽然看起来挺牢固，可是过些日子就要倒塌了。"

高阳应说："照你的话，我这房子倒是保险坏不了？因为日后木材会越干越硬，泥土会越干越轻，以越来越硬的木材承担越来越轻的泥土，房子自然就坏不了。"

木匠无话可答，只得听从他的吩咐去做。

高阳应的房子刚盖成的时候看起来也还不错，以后果然倒塌了。

Covering Ones Ears While Stealing a Bell

掩耳盗铃

Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does [en]foolish

things.[/en]

王先生总以为自己很聪明，实际上他总干傻事。

One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. "Oh! How nice! I will take it home." He thinks, "What can I do?" After a while he has a "good" idea. "Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell."

一天，他看见一户人家的门头有个很漂亮的铃铛。"啊，真漂亮啊!我要把它拿回家去。"他自言自语道："我该怎么做呢?"过了一会儿他想到了一个"好"主意。"啊哈!我有办法了!我把耳朵堵上，拿铃铛的时候就听不见铃声了。"

Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. "What are you doing?" the owner says angrily.

于是他就这样做了。可是他刚拿下铃铛，屋子的主人就打开门，怒气冲冲地说："你在干什么?"

【成语来源】

At the time when Fan, a nobleman of the state of Jin, became a fugitive, a commoner found a bell and wanted to carry it off on his back.

春秋时侯，晋国贵族智伯灭掉了范氏。有人趁机跑到范氏家里想偷点东西，看见院子里吊着一口大钟。钟是用上等青铜铸成的，造型和图案都很精美。小偷心里高兴极了，想把这口精美的大钟背回自已家去。

But the bell was too big for him.

可是钟又大又重，怎么也挪不动。

[/en]When he tried to knock it into pieces with a hammer there was a loud clanging sound. [/en]

他想来想去，只有一个办法，那就是把钟敲碎，然后再分别搬回家。小偷找来一把大锤，拼命朝钟砸去，咣的一声巨响，把他吓了一大跳。

He was afraid that someone will hear the noise and take the bell from him, so he immediately stopped his own ears.

小偷着慌，心想这下糟了，这种声不就等于是告诉人们我正在这里偷钟吗?他越听越害怕，不同自由地抽回双手，使劲捂住自已的耳朵。

To worry about other people hearing the noise is understandable, but to worry about himself hearing the noise (as if stopping his own ears would prevent other people from hearing) is absurd.

“咦，钟声变小了，听不见了!”小偷高兴起来，“妙极了!把耳朵捂住不住就听不进钟声了吗!”他立刻找来两个布团，把耳朵塞住，心想，这下谁也听不见钟声了。于是就放手砸起钟来，一下一下，钟声响亮地传到很远的地方。人们听到钟声蜂拥而至把小偷捉住了。

1、老鼠掉进了半满的米缸，意外让它喜不自禁。确定没有危险后，它便开始了在米缸里吃了睡、睡了吃的生活。很快，米缸就要见底了，可它终究还是摆脱不了大米的诱惑，继续留在缸里。最后，米吃完了，它才发现，跳出去只是梦想，一切都无能为力了感悟：我们的生活看似平坦，其实到处都是危机

2、第一天，小白兔去钓鱼，一无所获。第二天，它又去钓鱼，还是如此。第三天它刚到，一条大鱼从河里跳出来，大叫：你要是再敢用胡萝卜当鱼饵，我就扁死你感悟：你给的都是你自己“想”给的，而不是对方想要的，活在自己世界里的付出，不值钱

3、在一次宴会上，马克吐温与一位女士对坐，出于礼貌，说了一声：您真漂亮！那位女士却不领情，高傲地说：可惜我无法同样来赞美您！马克吐温委婉平和地说：那没关系，你可以像我一样，说一句谎话就行了。那位女士羞愧地低下了头感悟：你扔下的石头，绊倒的往往是你自己

4、一个朋友是医生，一次癌症手术，打开后发现切不了，只好再缝上。去和病人解释情况，那病人农村来的，听不懂术语，坚持认为手术过了，病就好了。只好让其出院，一年后回访，真的好了，癌细胞消失了感悟：乐观的心态是最好的手术

5、那年，他坐在咖啡店等朋友，一位女孩走过来问：你是通过王阿姨的介绍来相亲的吗？他抬头打量一下她，正是自己喜欢的类型，心想何不将错就错，于是忙答应道：对，请坐。结婚当天，他坦白，当时自己不是去相亲的。老婆笑，说：我也不是去相亲的，只是找个借口和你搭讪……感悟：机遇来了，要毫不犹豫的抓住它

6、女生公开投票选班花，相貌平平的小梅发表演说：如果我当选，再过几年，在座的姐妹可以向自己先生骄傲的说，我上大学时，比班花还漂亮！结果，她全票当选！感悟：说服别人支持你，不一定要证明比别人都优秀，而是要让别人觉得，因为有你，他们才变得更优秀、更有成就感

7、在高速行驶的火车上，一个老人不小心把刚买的新鞋从窗口掉了一只，周围的人倍感惋惜，不料老人立即把第二只鞋也从窗口扔了下去。这个举动让人大吃一惊。老人解释说：这一只鞋无论多么昂贵，对我而言已经没有用了，如果有谁能捡到一双鞋子，说不定他还能穿呢！感悟：注定无法挽回的痛苦，不如早点放弃

8、两只老虎，一只在笼子里，一只在荒野中。两只老虎都认为自己所处的环境不好，互相羡慕对方。它们决定交换身份，开始时，十分快乐。但不久，两只老虎都死了：一只饥饿而死，一只忧郁而死感悟：有时，人们对自己的幸福熟视无睹，总是把眼睛看向别人的幸福。其实，你所拥有的正是别人所欣羡的。

在一棵大树上，住着一只八哥。它每天都在那儿用非常圆润的歌喉，唱着悦耳的曲子。

初夏的早晨，当八哥正要唱歌的时候，忽然听见了一阵震耳欲聋的嘶叫声，它仔细一看，在那最高的树枝上，贴着一只蝉，它一秒钟也不停地发出“知了——知了——知了——”的叫声，好像喊救命似的。八哥跳到它的旁边，问它：“喂，你一早起来在喊什么呀？”蝉停止了叫喊，看见是八哥，就笑着说：“原来是同行啊，我正在唱歌呀。”八哥问它：“你歌唱什么呢？叫人听起来挺悲哀的，有什么不幸的事发生了么？”蝉回答说：“你的表现力比你的理解力要强，我唱的是关于早晨的歌，那一片美丽的朝霞，使我看了不禁兴奋得要歌唱起来。”八哥点点头，看见蝉又在抖动起翅膀，发出了声音，态度很严肃，它知道要劝蝉停止，是没有希望的，就飞到另外的树上唱歌去了。

中午的时候，八哥回到那棵大树上，它听见那只蝉仍旧在那儿歌唱，那“知了——知了——知了——”的喊声，比早晨更响。八哥还是笑着问它：“现在朝霞早已不见了，你在唱什么呀？”蝉回答说：“太陽晒得我心里发闷，我是在唱热呀。”八哥说：“这倒还差不多，人们只要一听到你的歌，就会觉得更热。”蝉以为这是对它的赞美，就越发起劲地唱起来。八哥只好再飞到别的地方去。

傍晚了，八哥又回来了，那只蝉还是在唱！

八哥说：“现在热气已经没有了。”

蝉说：“我看见了太陽下山的奇景，兴奋极了，所以唱着歌，欢送太陽。”一说完，它又继续着唱，好像怕太陽一走到山的那边，就会听不见它的歌声似的。

八哥说：“你真勤勉。”

蝉说：“我总好像没有唱够似的，我的同行，你要是愿意听，我可以唱一支夜曲——当月亮上升的时候。”

八哥说：“你不觉得辛苦么？”

蝉说：“我是爱歌唱的，只是歌唱着，我才觉得快乐。”

八哥说：“你整天都不停，究竟唱些什么呀？”

蝉说：“我唱了许多歌，天气变化了，唱的歌也就不同了。”

八哥说：“但是，我在早上、中午、傍晚，听你唱的是同一的歌。”

蝉说：“我的心情是不同的，我的歌也是不同的。”

八哥说：“你可能是缺乏表达情绪的必要的训练。”

蝉说：“不，人们说我能在同一的曲子里表达不同的情绪。”

八哥说：“也可能是缺乏天赋的东西，艺术没有天赋是不行的。”

蝉说：“我生来就具备了最好的嗓子，我可以一口气唱很久也不会变调。”

八哥说：“我说句老实话，我一听见你的歌，就觉得厌烦极了，原因就是它没有变化；没有变化，再好的歌也会叫人厌烦的。你的不肯休息，已使我害怕，明天我要搬家了。”

蝉说：“那真是太好了。”说完，它又“知了——知了——知了——”地唱起来了。

这时候，月亮也上升了……

有一只蚊子吸饱了人血落在玻璃上小憩。苍蝇见了羡慕地说：“嗨！老兄，瞧你那圆鼓鼓的肚子就知道刚饱餐了一顿吧？”

蚊子摸着圆溜溜的肚子美滋滋地说：“嘿嘿！那当然，不是我吹，瞧我们天生这张尖嘴，多厚的人皮都能扎进去，就是什么？这就是优势，吸起人血来又快又多，你们苍蝇就只有看着的份了。”

苍蝇有些不服气，平白地被蚊子奚落了一场，况且自己哪里就差了？

蚊子见它不服，哼一声说道：“不服来咱挑战一下，看谁落在人身上而不会被发现，谁就算赢。”

苍蝇同意了，它们同时向人飞去，可狡猾的苍蝇并没有真落在人身上，而是在人耳边嗡嗡了几声后躲了起来。人听到了苍蝇的嗡嗡声音，发现蚊子正在吸自己的血，立即伸手拍死。

苍蝇见蚊子死了，得意洋洋的飞出来。就因为太得意了，连自己发出嗡嗡声都没注意，更没注意闻声而来的人，只听啪的一声，苍蝇也被也人打死了。

作者语——欲害他人，其实也把自己置在危险之中。

小鹿和小猴是一对十分要好的朋友，可是有一天它俩吵架了，谁也不理谁，因为他们又在比本领了。猴子神气地说：“我的本领最高，我可以灵活地在树上爬上爬下，在树上摘果子，瞧瞧你，又笨又不灵活，又爬不上树，我比你棒!”“什么呀?我跑得快，一瞬间我就没影了，老虎想抓我也难呢!你，头脑简单，四肢发达，头大无脑，脑大生草。”小鹿顶嘴说。“那我们去比赛一下谁的本领大!”小猴说。

一开始，他们找到了松鼠妹妹，说明原因后，松鼠妹妹说：“你们比赛在树顶上摘一颗松果，最快的就胜利，1、2、3、开始!”话音刚落，小猴双脚向后一蹬，双手向上一爬，三两下就蹦到了树顶，疾眼快地摘下一颗最大的松果，再在树顶上挥动着松果大声说：“看到了吗，我赢了，耶!”可小鹿呢?只能在树下眼睁睁地看着冠军被抢走。

然后，他们又找到了马大哥，说明原因后，马大哥说：“你两比赛赛跑吧!1、2、3、开始!”话还没说完，小鹿放开四蹄，撒腿就跑!顿时烟尘滚滚，小鹿像只箭一样冲了过去并在终点大声说：“我到了赢了!”。可小猴蹦蹦跳跳地跑，慢的要死。

接着，他们又找到了熊大叔，说明原因后，熊大叔说：“你们谁先到小河对岸摘一个桃子回来，最快的就胜利，1、2、3、开始!”小鹿一下跑到了树下，可它可不会爬树啊，那就摘不到桃子，只能在树下看着桃子干瞪眼。而小猴呢，可没小鹿跑得快，也不会淌水过河，也在河边干瞪眼。正在两个都干着急时，小猴在河边大声喊：“小鹿，你回来，背我过河，我们一起摘桃!”小鹿想了想“对呀!我会过河，不会摘桃，小猴不会过河，会摘桃，合在一起就又会摘桃又会过河了!”于是回头跑过去，三两下就把小猴背过河跑到桃树下面，小猴双脚向后一蹬，双手向上一爬，“嗖”一下就蹦到了树顶，手疾眼快地摘下一颗最大的桃子。当他们俩把桃子送到熊大叔面前，熊大叔说：“看，你们两个一个会跑，一个会爬树，都有本领。但只有一起互相合作才能摘到大桃子。这就是团结的力量!”

小猴和小鹿恍然大悟，明白了一个道理，团结就是力量!一根筷子容易断，一把筷子不易断!

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, For the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren‘t enough to ruin my day, A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play. He stood right before me with his head tilted down And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, With its petals all worn - not enough rain, or too little light. Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a small smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side and placed the flower to his nose and declared with surprise, "It sure smells pretty and it‘s beautiful, too. That‘s why I picked it; here, it‘s for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, He held it mid-air without reason or plan. It was then that I noticed for the very first time, that weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun. As I thanked him for picking the very best one. "You‘re welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play, Unaware of the impact he‘d had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see a self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. How did he know of my self-indulged plight? Perhaps from his heart, he‘d been blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see, the problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see beauty, and appreciate every second that‘s mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose And smiled as that young boy, another weed in his hand About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.