英语幽默故事比赛英语作文合集20篇

一壮小伙牵了一价值百万的纯种藏獒出来遛弯。逢人便炫耀狗好，人要是没个四五百斤力量的拽都拽不住。

这时候看路边一秃顶老头，身边还坐一只毛都快要掉光了的狗。他的藏獒对那狗一顿嚎叫，那老狗理都没理藏獒。

小伙不乐意了。说道：老头，你那狗那么大，是什么狗啊？咱俩的狗斗一下？你的狗输了给我500，我的藏獒输了给你20xx。

老头说：我正愁我的`老伙计下个月伙食呢！要不赌大点？我的狗输了给你五万，你输了给我三万。

小伙马上火了：我这是纯种藏獒。别说我没告诉你。赌了！

俩狗交锋没两分钟，藏獒败下来，再也不敢嚎叫。

小伙拿了三万块钱，郁闷至极：大爷，你那是什么狗？怎么能这么猛？

老头边点钱边说：我也不知道现在它算啥狗，没掉毛以前是叫狮子！

小伙哭笑不得！！！

任何时候都不要炫耀，保持低调！低调！再低调！你炫耀什么，说明你缺什么，真正拥有实力的人，往往处于平静祥和的状态，就像那位老人和那条"老狗"，只是淡定从容地存在着。

你已经是狮子了，何须证明？何须炫耀？

人生在世，不是用来和别人比较的。

活出最伟大的自己，做出最伟大的贡献。

一条不懂事的美丽小蛇在水边看见了一只有着漂亮花纹、皮肤超好的青蛙，不禁生出了爱慕之心。小蛇对青蛙说：我们能够交往吗？青蛙说：好啊好啊。于是他们两个生活在了一齐。有一天，他们在睡觉的时候，小蛇在睡梦中不由自主地用身体将青蛙缠了起来，青蛙感觉要窒息了，就奋力挣扎，用两条强壮而有力的后腿重重地蹬在小蛇的腹部，弹了出去，然后迅速地逃走了，再也没有回来。悲哀的小蛇养好了身上的伤，却无法养好心中的伤，她对帅气漂亮的青蛙产生了恐惧感，认为会被伤害，从此她过着单身生活。

这一天，一只丑陋的癞蛤蟆发现了小蛇，觉得她十分美丽，不禁生出了爱慕之心。癞蛤蟆对小蛇说：我们能够交往吗？小蛇看了看丑陋的癞蛤蟆，觉得他的眼神很真诚，她那颗寂寞的心动摇了，她想这只癞蛤蟆这么丑陋，就应会好好珍惜她这么漂亮的小蛇的，于是她说：好吧好吧。于是他们两个生活在了一齐。有一天，他们在睡觉的时候，小蛇在睡梦中不由自主地用身体将癞蛤蟆缠了起来，癞蛤蟆感觉要窒息了，就奋力挣扎，他的背上喷出了毒汁，射进了小蛇的眼睛，小蛇受痛展开了身体，癞蛤蟆趁机逃走了，再也没有回来。

这个故事告诉我们：别以为只有帅哥才会伤害女孩，丑男一样会伤害女孩！这个故事还告诉我们：适当的缠绵是能够的，但是如果你的性要求太频繁，给男生压力太大，那么男生会被你吓跑的。

阿峰所在的公司新来了一位女同事李曼，有回阿峰路过李总的办公室，听到李曼喊李总“爸”，心想，难道她是李总的女儿？李总定是想把女儿放到基层锻炼，将来好接班。如果自己能把李总的女儿追到手，岂不就能走上人生巅峰了？于是，阿峰主动接近李曼，在工作上提供帮助。李曼也是一个热情开朗的人，两人很快成了朋友。

有次两人在聊天，阿峰正忙着逗李曼开心，李总过来了，脸色很不好看，还把阿峰叫进办公室，训道：“上班时间别瞎聊天，把心思都用在工作上，不要想些乱七八糟的，明白吗？”阿峰只得连连点头。

虽然被训了一顿，阿峰还是不死心，不尝试怎么知道不可能呢？这天，阿峰加班到很晚，公司只剩下他和李曼两个人。阿峰鼓起勇气，说：“李曼，等会儿我们一起去看电影，好吗？”李曼显得很吃惊，有些口吃地说：“不、不行。”

阿峰诚恳地说：“李曼，我是认真的，我能感觉到，你对我也有好感。给我一个机会，好吗？”

李曼搖摇头，说：“我想你误会了，我对你没有那个意思。”说完，她急匆匆地离开了。

阿峰有些沮丧，心想自己还是太心急了，他不愿意放弃，打算明天去给李曼道个歉，两人继续做朋友，等时机合适了再说。

没想到，第二天阿峰一到公司，就得知自己被辞退了。阿峰大吃一惊，想找李总要个说法，同事们拦住他，说：“想知道你为什么被辞退吗？”阿峰点点头。“勾引老总的儿媳妇。”同事们幸灾乐祸地说。

阿峰愣住了，李曼喊李总“爸”，那是喊自己的公公呢。

唐朝有个皇族的后裔叫李载仁，由于当时战争四起，所以百姓们都没有安定的日子过，为了逃避战乱，李载仁跑到江陵高季兴那里，做了个观察推官。他生性迂腐，行动缓慢，从不吃猪肉。

有一次，他将要去接受上司的召见，刚上马，家里的仆人打架了。李载仁大怒，叫人立即从厨房里拿来大饼和猪肉，让打架的人当着他的面吃下去，并且警告说：“以后如果胆敢再打架，一定要在猪肉里加上酥油来重重地惩罚你们!”

【大道理】：

不要因为自己不喜欢的事情，别人非常喜欢也说不定;

如果用别人喜欢的事情自己不喜欢的事情去惩罚别人，那是一种愚蠢的行为。

以前有个小国的人到中国来，进贡了三个一模一样的金人，金壁辉煌，把皇帝高兴坏了。但是这小国的人不厚道，同时出一道题目：这三个金人哪个最有价值？皇帝想了许多的办法，请来饰品匠检查，称重量，看做工，都是一模一样的。

怎样办？使者还等着回去汇报呢。泱泱大国，不会连这个小事都不懂吧？最后，有一位退位的老大臣说他有办法。皇帝将使者请到大殿，老臣胸有成足地拿着三根稻草，插入第一个金人的耳朵里，这稻草从另一边耳朵出来了。第二个金人的稻草从嘴巴里直接掉出来，而第三个金人，稻草进去后掉进了肚子，什么响动也没有。老臣说：第三个金人最有价值！使者默默无语，答案正确。

这个故事告诉我们，最有价值的人，不必须是最能说的人。老天给我们两只耳朵一个嘴巴，本来就是让我们多听少说的。善于倾听，才是成熟的人最基本的素质。

一只鸽子老是不断地搬家，想去掉自己身上的气味！它觉得，每次新窝住了没多久，就有一种浓烈的怪味，让它喘不上气来，不得已只好一向搬家。它觉得很困扰，就把烦恼跟一只经验丰富的老鸽子诉苦。老鸽子说：“你搬了这么多次家根本没有用啊，正因那种让你困扰的怪味并不是从窝里面发出来的，而是你自己身上的味道啊。”

寓言启示录：与团队格格不入，问题来自于自己！

有些人会不断埋怨别人的过错，指责别人的缺点，他们觉得周围的环境和人处处跟自己作对；或者是认为自己“曲高和寡”，一般人无法明白自己丰富而深刻的思想。实际上，他们没有意识到真正的问题不是来自于周围，而是来自于他们自己。像这样的人，务必试着认清自己，试着认真而深刻地反省自己。而一个组织也没必要为了失掉这样一只“鸽子”而遗憾。

愈来愈多的研究显示，领导潜质不是天生的，人们完全能够透过后天的发奋获得这种潜质。因此，领导者要想成功地改变员工，首先就务必改变自己的领导特质。

对领导者而言，出色的管理潜质仍然是必需的。领导者拥有这种管理潜质，不是为了控制和命令员工，而是为了支持、帮忙员工的发展与成长。

在这变幻莫测的全球竞争时代，公司高层与其苦苦追寻“先进”的管理方法与手段，不如将眼光放远，锁定员工的才智与热情，这是公司取之不尽的宝藏，公司务必找到适当的途径将他们释放出来。实现这个目标的唯一途径，就是让管理从控制员工，转向为坚信员工潜力、鼓舞员工热情。

A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home. But the pumpkin is too big. The panda cant take it home.

Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her. She watches the bike. "I know! I have a good idea." she jumps and shouts happily, "I can roll a pumpkin. Its like a wheel."

So she rolls the pumpkin to her home. When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, "Oh, my God! How can you carry it home?" the little panda answers proudly, "I cant lift it, but I can roll it." Her mother smiled and says, "What a clever girl! Use you heard to do something,"

聪明的熊猫

一只小熊猫摘了一只大南瓜，想把它拿回家。但是这只南瓜太大了，她没有办法把这么大的南瓜带回家。

突然她看见一只狗熊骑着一辆自行车朝她这边来。她看着自行车，跳着说：“有了!我有办法了。我可以把南瓜滚回家去。南瓜好像车轮。

于是她把那瓜滚回家。当她妈妈看到这只大南瓜的时候，很惊讶：“天啊!这么食的南瓜!你是怎么把它带回家来的?”小熊猫自豪地说;“我拎不动它，可是我能滚动它啊!”她妈妈微笑着说：“真聪明啊!记住：只要你肯动脑筋，没有难办的事。

有一位表演大师上场前，他的徒弟告诉他鞋带松了。大师点头致谢，蹲下来仔细系。

等到徒弟转身后，又蹲下来将鞋带解松。有个旁观者看到了这一切，不解地问：“大师，您为什么又要将鞋带解松呢？”大师回答道：“正因我饰演的是一位劳累的旅者，长途跋涉让他的鞋带松开，能够透过这个细节表现他的劳累憔悴。”“那你为什么不直接告诉你的徒弟呢？”“他能细心地发现我的鞋带松了，并且热心地告诉我，我必须要保护他这种热情的用心性，及时地给他鼓励，至于为什么要将鞋带解开，将来会有更多的机会教他表演，能够下一次再说啊。”

人一个时刻只能做一件事，懂抓重点，才是真正的人才。

故事一：

席尔瓦先生和佩雷拉先生是非常要好的朋友。一个星期天晚上，他们在席尔瓦先生的寓所里喝啤酒。

这两位先生都未成家，所以他们各自雇了一个佣人为他们打理房子，有时候还可以替他们跑跑腿。

几杯啤酒下肚之后，他们便将谈论的话题转向了佣人。佩雷拉先生说，他的佣人班达应该算得上是全世界最愚蠢的佣人了。

“算了吧，你能证明班达比我的佣人忠达更愚蠢，我就誓不为人。”席尔瓦先生说。

“好的，我就证明给你看。”说着，佩雷拉先生把他的佣人叫了过来，交给他10个卢比，“班达，你拿着这些钱去大街拐角处那家汽车专卖店，给我买一辆汽车。”班达兴冲冲地走开了。

“佩雷拉先生，你看我的佣人多么愚蠢!”

“哼，你认为这就够愚蠢了?等一会你瞧瞧我的佣人吧。”席尔瓦先生叫来忠达，给了他两个卢比。“拿着这两个卢比，坐车到我办公室去找我秘书，问一下我是否在办公室里。”

“没问题，先生。”忠达拿着钱走出了大门。

佣人们走后，两位先生又争执起来，他们都极力让对方相信自己的佣人是世界上最愚蠢的。此时此刻，他们的佣人班达和忠达正在外面为他们奔波效力。在一个街角，两个佣人不期而遇。

“忠达，你看见了吧?”班达说，“我想我遇见的主人是世界上最愚蠢的。”

“不，班达，我的主人才是世界上最愚蠢的。”

“忠达，你看我的主人有多蠢，他刚才给了我10个卢比，叫我给他买一辆汽车!这个傻瓜，他不知道汽车经销店星期天不营业吗?”

“你认为这就够傻了?我的主人刚才给了我两个卢比，要我去他的办公室，看看他是否在那。这个傻瓜不知道，打个电话到他办公室问一下，只需要花费一个卢比，根本用不着给我两个。”

故事二：

哥伦布发现美洲后，许多人认为哥伦布只不过是凑巧看到，其他任何人只要有他的运气，都可以做到。于是，在一个盛大的宴会上，一位贵族向他发难道：“哥伦布先生，我们谁都知道，美洲就在那儿，你不过是凑巧先上去了呗!如果是我们去也会发现的。”面对责难，哥伦布不慌不乱，他灵机一动，拿起了桌上一个鸡蛋，对大家说：“诸位先生女士们，你们谁能够把鸡蛋立在桌子上?请问你们谁能做到呢?”大家跃跃欲试，却一个个败下阵来。哥伦布微微一笑，拿起鸡蛋，在桌上轻轻一磕，就把鸡蛋立在那儿。哥伦布随后说：“是的，就这么简单。发现美洲确实不难，就像立起这个鸡蛋一样容易。但是，诸位，在我没有立起它之前，你们谁又做到了呢?”创新从本质上是一种对新思想、新角度、新变化采取的欢迎态度，它也表现为看问题的新角度。很多时候，人们会说，这也算是创新吗?原来我也知道啊!创新就这么简单，关键在于你敢不敢想，肯不肯做。

故事三、

­有一年，著名的美国哈佛大学，曾有一名教授给刚入学的新生出了一道测试题：一加一等于几?学生们一阵大笑之后想：这么简单的题，连三岁小孩都会，看来其中必有其他深意。于是有85%的同学竞没有给出答案，5%的同学回答是“三”，至于剩下10%的同学，答案五花八门。

­­于是，教授公布了最后答案：“二!”在学生们面面相觑之后，教授意味深长地说：“一加一等于二，这是一个不变的真理，不能、也不会因为外界因素的改变而改变。”­

­事实上，世界上很多事情都有一层虚拟的外表，就看我们怎么对待了。

1、罗斯福还未当上美国总统之前，家中遭窃，朋友写信安慰他。罗斯福回信说：谢谢你的来信，我现在心中很平静，因为：第一、窃贼只偷去我的财物，并没有伤害我的生命。第二、窃贼只偷走部分的东西，而非全部。第三、最值得庆幸的是，做贼的是他，而不是我。一言可以兴邦，一言可以亡国。

2、美国前总统里根在任初期遭遇枪击，子弹穿入胸部，情况危急。在生命攸关的当头，里根面对赶来探视的太太的第一句话竟是：亲爱的，我忘记躲开了。美国民众得知总统在身受重伤时，仍能不忘幽默本色，康复应该指日可待，因此也稳定了可能因总统受伤而动荡的政局。事情发生之后，是好是坏都不重要，重要的是，你从哪个角度去切入。

3、英国首相威尔逊，在一次演讲中，刚进行到一半时，台下突然有个捣蛋分子，高声打断了他：狗屎！垃圾！威尔逊虽然受到干扰，但他情急生智，不慌不忙的说：这位先生，请稍安勿躁，我马上就要讲到你提出的关于环保的问题了。全场不禁为他的机智反应鼓掌喝彩。掌握自己的情绪，才能掌握自己的未来。

4、邱吉尔首相在一次公开场合演讲时，由台下递上来一张纸条，上面只写着两个字：笨蛋。邱吉尔知道台下有反对他的人等着看他出糗，便神色轻松地对大家说：刚才我收到一封信，可惜写信人只记得署名，忘了写内容。邱吉尔不但没有被不快的情绪控制，反而用幽默将了对方一军，实在是高招。幽默的机智反应并非只是能言善道，而是一种快乐、成熟的生活态度，掌握了它等于掌握智慧的结晶，得到快乐的泉源。

5、一天，拿破仑到野外打猎，突然听见远处有人呼叫，他循声走去，看见一人落水，正大声求救。拿破仑毫不犹豫的举起枪来，大声叫道：喂！听好！你要是不爬上来，我就开枪打死你。那个人听了，顿时忘记落水的危险，立刻使尽全力向岸边游去。上岸的第一句话就是：你不救我就算了，为什么还要开枪打死我？拿破仑从容不迫的回答说：假如刚才我不吓唬你，你就不会奋力游上岸，那又怎么能脱险呢？要别人怎样对你，自己先怎样对别人。

6、艾森豪威尔将军参加某餐会，会中安排演讲节目，总共邀请五位贵宾致词，艾森豪威尔排在最后一位上台。前面四位，个个千言万语、赘言连连，轮到他时，时间已近十点了，台下早已意态阑珊、兴致缺缺。善解人意的艾森豪威尔将军一上台便说：任何演讲都会有句点，我就作为今晚演讲的句点好了。语毕鞠躬而退。

7、有一次，萧伯纳在街上行走，被一个冒失鬼骑车撞倒在地上，幸好并无大碍。肇事者急忙扶起他，连声抱歉，萧伯纳拍拍屁股诙谐的说：你的运气真不好，先生，如果你把我装死了，就可以名扬四海了。善于表达的人，有的是论点犀利，一针见血，有的是滔滔雄辩，口若悬河，但是都不如令听者发出真心微笑的幽默话语来的巧妙，来得“四两拨千斤”。

8、一次，美国知名作家马克吐温，因为看不惯国会议员在国会通过某个法案，而在报纸上刊登了一个广告，上面写着：国会议员有一半是混蛋。报纸一卖出，许多抗议电话随之而来，这些国会议员可不认为自己是混蛋，纷纷要求马克吐温更正。马克吐温于是又登了一个更正启事：我错了，国会议员，有一半不是混蛋。有幽默感的人，凡事健康思考，保持正面态度，当遇到困难时，比较容易化险为夷。

Helen Keller once wrote about these early days.

One beautiful spring morning I was alone in my room, reading. Suddenly a wonderful smell in the air made me get up and put out my hands . The spirit of spring seemed to be passing in my room. "What is it?"I asked. The next minute I knew it was coming from mimosa tree outside. I walked outside to the edge of the garden, toward the tree. There it was, shaking in the warm sunshine. Its long branches, so heavy with flowers, almost touched the ground. I walked through the flowers to the tree itself and then just stood silent. Then I put my foot on the tree and pulled myself up into it. I climbed higher and higher until I reached a little seat. Long ago someone had put it there. I sat for a long time... Nothing in all the world was like this.

Later Helen learned that nature could be cruel as well as beautiful. Strangely enough she discovery this in a different kind of tree.

One day my teacher and I were returning from a long walk. It was a fine morning but it started to get warm and heavy. We stopped to rest two or three times. Our last stop was under a cherry tree, a short way from our house. The shade was nice and the tree was easy to climb. Miss Sullivan climbed with me. It was so coot up in the tree, we decided to have lunch there. I promised to sit still until she went to the house for some food. Suddenly a change came over the tree. I knew the sky was black because all the heat which meant light to me had died out of the air. A strange odor came up to me from the earth . I knew it. It was the odor which always comes before a thunder storm. I felt alone, cut off from friends, high above the firm earth. I was frightened and wanted my teacher. wanted to get down from that tree quickly, but I was no help to myself. There was a moment of terrible silence. Then a sudden and violent wind began to shake the tree and its leaves kept coming down all around me. I almost fell. I wanted to jump, but was afraid to do so. I tried to make myself small in the tree as the branches rubbed against me. Just us I thought that both the tree and I were going to fall, a hand touched me . It was my teacher. I held her with all my strength, then shook with joy to feel the solid earth under my feet.

Miss Sullivan stayed with Helen for many year. She taught Helen how to read, how to write and how to speak. She helped her to get ready for school and college. More than anything, Helen wanted to do what others did, and do it just as well. In time Helen did go to college and completed her studies with high honors. But it was a hard struggle. Few of the books she needed were written in the Braille language that the blind could read by touching pages. Miss Sullivan and others had to teach her what was in these books by forming words in her hands. The study of geometry and physics was especially difficult. Helen could only learn about squares, triangles and other geometrical forms by making them with wires. She kept feeling the different shapes of these wires until she could see them in her mind.

During her second year college Miss Keller wrote the story of her life and what a college meant to her. This is what she wrote.

My first day at Radcliffe college was of great interest. Some powerful force inside me made me test my mind. I wanted to learn if it was as good as that of others. I learned many things at college. One thing I slowly learned was that knowledge does not just mean power, as some people say. Knowledge leads to happiness because to have it is to know what is true and real. To know what great man of the past had thought, said, and done is to feel the heartbeat of humanity down through the ages.

All of Helen Kellers knowledge reached her mind through her sense of touch and smell, and of course her feelings. To know a flower was to touch it, feel it and smell it. This sense of touch became greatly developed as she got older. She once said that hands speak almost as loudly as words. She said the touch of some hands frightened her. The people seemed so empty of joy that when she touched their cold fingers it is as if she were shaking bands with a storm. She found the hands of others full of sunshine and warmth. Strangely enough Helen Keller learned to love things she could not hear, music for example. She did this through her sense of touch. When waves of air beat against her, she felt them. Sometimes she put her hand to a singers throat. She often stood for hours with her hands on a piano while it was played. Once she listened to an organ. Its powerful songs made her moved her body in rhythm with the music. She also liked to go to museums. She thought she understood sculptures as well as others. Her fingers told her the true size and the feel of the material.

What did Helen Keller think of herself, what did she think about the tragic lost of her sight and hearing. This is what she wrote as a young girl.

Sometimes a sense of loneliness covers me like a cold mist. I sit alone, and wait at life s shut-door. Beyond there is light and music and sweet friendship. But I may not enter. Silence sits heavy upon my soul. Then comes hope with a sweet smile and said

softly " There is joy in forgetting oneself And so I tried to make the light in others eyes my sun, the music in others ears my symphony, the smile on others lips my happiness.

Helen Keller was tall and strong. When she spoke, her face looked very alive. It helped to give meaning to her words. She often felt the faces of close friends when she was talking to them to discover their feelings. She and Miss Sullivan both were known for their sense of humor. They enjoyed jokes and laughing at funny things that happened to themselves or others. Helen Keller had to work hard to support herself after she finished college. She spoke to many groups around the country. She wrote several books and she made one movie based on her life. Her main goal was to increase public interest in the difficulties of people with physical problems. The work Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan did has been written and talked about for many years. Their success showed how people can conquer great difficulties. Anne Sullivan died in 1936, blind herself. Before Miss Sullivan died, Helen wrote and said many kind things about her.

It was the genius of my teacher, her sympathy, her love which made my first years of education so beautiful. My teacher is so near to me that I do not think of myself as a part from her. All the best of me belongs to her. Everything I am today was awakened by her loving touch .

Helen Keller died on June 1st, 1968. She was 87 year old. Her message of courage and hope remains.

During the composition class, the teacher sent a story about a senior high school student who had read from small to large, and realized that "poverty is the best university."".

The student was very poor in his family, but he worked hard and studied hard.Once, he went to Tianjin, and eager rushed home to tread on air, want to tell the family, but the family home, the face is full of melancholy, because my parents quarrel, the old grandpa excited and died, so he will score plug under the pillow, will that happy look away, but his mother went out of his way, make money for him.

He is very sensible, very considerate parents, more frugal, eat not only think of the amount, method and his mother taught her to read English, according to his mother to do, indeed, half a year after the English exam in the top three class.

This story gave me a lot of inspiration, which "poverty is one of the best universities", this sentence has influenced me the most, I used to think that the poor can not chengdaqi, but this story has inspired me to learn the best starting point instead of poverty!

[小故事的英语读后感

The Lioness

A CONTROVERSY prevailed among the beasts of the field as to which of the animals deserved the most credit for producing the greatest number of whelps at a birth. They rushed clamorously into the presence of the Lioness and demanded of her the settlement of the dispute. "And you," they said, "how many sons

have you at a birth? The Lioness laughed at them, and said:

"Why! I have only one; but that one is altogether a thoroughbred Lion.The value is in the worth, not in the number.

真的小猛士：美国9岁男孩徒手斗鳄鱼

A brave 9-year-old is recovering in hospital after he wrestled a 9-foot, 400lb alligator off him with his bare hands - and he now plans to make a necklace from a tooth doctors found embedded in a wound on his back.

美国佛罗里达州一名9岁的小男孩，在湖中游泳时，遭到一条长9英尺(约2.7米长)、重400磅(约180多公斤)的短吻鳄袭击，赤手与其搏斗之后，小男孩身上多处受伤，目前正在医院治疗中。医生从他背部的伤口里取出一颗短吻鳄的牙齿，小男孩表示想把它做成项链。

James Barney Jr, spoke calmly and eloquently about his ordeal from hospital, where he was tucked up in bed with a teddy bear by his side. He was covered in some 30 teeth marks, doctors said.

小男孩名叫小詹姆斯·巴尼，他在医院里平静、生动地讲述了自己与短吻鳄搏斗的经历，在他床边还放有一只泰迪熊。医生说，小詹姆斯全身有30多处牙印。

The little boy described how it was a hot day so he had parked his bike and jumped into Lake Tohopekaliga - a lake that people are forbidden to swim in - when he felt something brush against his leg.

小詹姆斯说那天特别热，于是他就把自行车停在一旁自己跳进了托霍普卡莱加湖，这个湖是禁止人们在里面游泳的，刚一进去他就感觉有东西擦到他的腿了。

It really amazed me what happened. At first, I thought someone was just playing with me, and I didnt know what happened, he told ABC.

“后来发生的事情真的让我大吃一惊。但开始的时候，我以为是有人在跟我闹着玩，我并不知道发生了什么事情。”他告诉美国广播公司(ABC)的记者。

I reached down to grab it, and I felt its jaw, I felt its teeth, and I didnt know what to do, so I immediately reacted and hit it a couple times. And I had enough strength to pry its jaw open. The child pulled the powerful jaws open long enough to slide out and swim to shore.

“我潜入水中抓住了它，摸到了它的下巴，摸到了它的牙齿，可不知道该怎么做，不过我立刻就反应过来了赶紧猛打了它几下，并使劲撑开了它的嘴巴。”小詹姆斯把它的嘴巴撑得足够大后赶紧退后并向岸边游去。

Witnesses say the boy surfaced, screaming that hed been bitten by an alligator. They immediately called 911.

目击者称小男孩浮出水面后尖叫着说自己被一只短吻鳄咬到了。于是他们立刻拨打911报警。

可能导致马航飞机坠毁的原因是什么？

Traditionally regarded as one of the safest planes in the skies, the Boeing 777’s reputation will have been damaged by the second fatal crash in less than a year.

There are around 1,000 Boeing 777s in service, and the plane is a long haul workhorse, plying some of the longest routes.

It entered service in 1995 and the National Transportation Safety Board, which is responsible for monitoring US-made aircraft, has logged fewer than 60 incidents.

But the recent record has been more patchy with two major incidents - a crash at San Francisco airport last July, which claimed three lives, and the crash-landing of a British Airways 777 at Heathrow in January 2008.

But the Malaysian disaster is very different from both the BA incident and the crash involving a Asiana Airlines flight at San Francisco International Airport in July.

Both the BA and Asiana accidents occurred shortly before landing, while the Malaysia airlines plane disappeared off the radar during the early stages of the trip.

The accident at San Francisco in July was attributed to pilot error which led to the engines being set to idle because he believed the computer would maintain sufficient speed to keep the plane up in the air.

But initial reports suggest that Zaharie Ahmad Shah, the 53-year-old Malaysian airlines pilot, was hugely experienced - having joined the carrier in 1981 and with 18,365 hours in the cockpit under his belt.

The BA crash landing, which did not result in any fatalities, was finally found to have been caused by a blockage in the fuel line feeding the engine.

Simply put the aircraft had the aviation equivalent of a cardiac arrest because some of the fuel failed to melt and blocked the supply line at the end of a long flight from Beijing to London, during which the plane travelled through unusually cold airspace over Siberia.

This crash has echoes of the disaster in which 288 people on board an Air France Airbus 330. That plane, another long-haul workhorse, crashed into the Atlantic en-route from Rio de Janeiro in June 2009 killing 228 people.

A variety of explanations have been given for the Air France crash, with investigators finding that the plane’s speed sensors were giving an incorrect reading.

But with this crash involving a different aircraft, it will take several months before investigators can ascertain the cause.

据英国《每日电讯报》报道，波音777飞机一直被认为是最安全机型之一，但不到一年时间里发生第二起致命坠毁必然会使其名声受损。

波音777飞机在1995年投入使用，现在运行中的波音777飞机大约有1000架，而且它们通常承担最远距离的飞行，是长途运输的主力。负责监控美国制造飞机的美国国家运输安全委员会记录的意外事件不到60件。

但是，最近的记录却因为两次重大事件显得很突出——一件为去年7月旧金山机场的坠机事件，导致三人死亡，另一件为2008年1月在希思罗机场一架英国航空公司的波音777迫降事件。

然而，本次马航事件与英国航空公司事件以及在旧金山国际机场发生的韩亚飞机坠毁事件不同。上两次事件发生在降落前的很短时间内，而马航飞机在航程开始不久就从雷达信号中消失了。

7月的旧金山机场事件归因于飞行员的错误操作，飞行员认为电脑能保持足够的速度使飞机保持空中高度，因此使发动机处于闲置状态。但是，初步报告表明53岁的马航飞行员沙阿飞行经验丰富——1981年进入马航，飞行时间已达1.8365万个小时。

英国航空公司的飞机迫降事件，没有造成人员死亡，失事原因最终确定为连接引擎的燃油管线堵塞。

假设把这次飞机失事的原因比作心脏骤停，原因是在北京到伦敦飞行的最后，经过了西伯利亚不同寻常的寒冷上空，一部分燃料没有融化堵住了供应管道。

本次马航事件让人联想到当年载有288名乘客的法航空客330坠毁事件。这架长途飞行的客机在2009年6月从里约热内卢起飞后在途中坠入大西洋，造成228人死亡。

对于法航飞机坠毁事件的原因，有多个解释，但调查发现飞机的速度传感器给出了错误的读数。但是本次马航事件的飞机与前面所述飞机不同，可能需要几个月的调查才能确定其原因。

云南鲁甸6.5级地震 2500余名官兵赶赴救援

China has deployed 2,500 soldiers to the south-western province of Yunnan to help search for survivors after an earthquake killed at least 398 people.

中国西南省份云南日前发生地震，目前已造成至少398人死亡，政府已出动2500名官兵赶往灾区协助搜救工作。

More than 1,800 people were injured when the magnitude 6.1 earthquake struck on Sunday.

云南周日发生6.1级地震，导致1800余人受伤。

Attempts to reach the epicentre have been hampered by heavy rain, with some rescuers forced to travel on foot.

救援队因暴雨受阻，只能徒步前往震中。

State broadcaster CCTV said the earthquake was the strongest to hit the mountainous province in 14 years.

中国国家电视台CCTV称，云南多山，此次地震是14年来云南省内最强的一次地震。

President Xi Jinping called for "all-out efforts" to find survivors as he dispatched soldiers to the area.

国家主席习近平在向灾区派兵的同时还作出指示，要将救人放在第一位。

They joined more than 300 police and firefighters from Zhaotong and about 400 emergency workers and sniffer dogs from across Yunnan province in the rescue operation.

参与救援行动的还有300余名昭通的武警公安和消防官兵，以及云南省派出的400名救灾人员和搜救犬。

But rescuers trying to deliver the much-needed supplies are struggling to reach the area, reports the BBCs Celia Hatton in Beijing.

但据BBC驻北京记者西莉亚·哈顿报道，搜救人员无法很快将应急物资送往震中。

Unrelenting rain and continuing landslides have left many roads in the region too damaged to use, she adds.

她补充说道，持续的暴雨和山体滑坡导致前往灾区的多个路段受阻。

Premier Li Keqiang has travelled to the area to oversee the rescue operation. And he had to walk for "over three miles" (5km) to reach the worst-hit village in Yunnan on Monday.

周一，中国国务院总理李克强赴云南视察灾情时需徒步“3英里多”(5千米)才能走到受灾最严重的村镇。

A spokesman for UN chief Ban Ki-moon said the secretary-general was "saddened by the loss of life".

联合国秘书长潘基文的发言人称，秘书长对云南地震造成人员伤亡表示悲痛。

South-west China lies in an area that is prone to earthquakes.

中国西南地区处于地震多发带。

An earthquake in Sichuan in 2008 killed tens of thousands of people while a magnitude 7.7 quake in Yunnan in 1970 killed at least 15,000.

2008年四川地震导致几万人遇难，1970年云南7.7级地震遇难人数超过1.5万人。

在我们死后，我们的挚爱可以获得我们的网络账户密码吗？

Should Your Family Get Access To Your Online Accounts When You Die?

Its a question that will eventually—hopefully not soon!—confront you, me, and every other person reading this: Should our loved ones gain access to our digital lives, from email to Instagram to financial accounts, after we die? A cadre of state-appointed lawyers are creating a bill that would allow for just that.

This is one of the more important legal dilemmas of recent years, and only a few states have clear laws on whether, say, a parent should gain access to their childs Facebook if the child dies, or whether a wife should get access to financial information locked in her deceased husbands email account. This week at its annual meeting, the Uniform Law Commission—a Chicago-based group of lawyers who are appointed to write clear and stable language for new legislation—will finalize its recommended language for a law that would give loved ones access to all of your digital accounts after you die. Unless you specify otherwise.

As the AP reports today, the bill would create a legal process for gaining access, which can be incredibly difficult today:

Most people assume they can decide what happens by sharing certain passwords with a trusted family member, or even making those passwords part of their will. But in addition to potentially exposing passwords when a will becomes public record, anti-hacking laws and most companys "terms of service" agreements prohibit anyone from accessing an account that isnt theirs. That means loved ones technically become criminals if they log on to a dead persons account.

And thats assuming they even have the password. Going up against giants like Google makes the process even more difficult. And for a grieving family, it can be all but impossible.

The bill would give access—but not control—to loved ones unless they specifically wrote in their will that they wouldnt allow it.

[英语寓言故事参考：The Lioness

父子二人经过五星级饭店门口，看到一辆十分豪华的进口轿车。

儿子不屑地对他的父亲说：「坐这种车的人，肚子里一定没有学问!」

父亲则轻描淡写地回答：说这种话的人，口袋里一定没有钱

(注：你对事情的看法，是不是也反映出你内心真正的态度?)

After his father five-star hotel door and saw a very luxury imported cars.

Son of disdain for his father, said: "The people who take such a vehicle, necessarily Moyouxuewen stomach!"

Father answered lightly: say such things, certainly no money pocket

(Note: Your view of things, is not it also reflects the real attitude of your heart?)

Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."

"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

为我所用

一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".

(只为成功找方法，不为失败找理由)

今天，我们在老师的带领下在水木青华作文培训中心举行了一次超级有趣的讲故事比赛。

老师在黑板上写规则，规则如下：每人在五分钟之内讲一个故事，评出一等奖一名，二等奖两名，三等奖三名，鼓励奖若干名。

开始讲故事了。我是一号选手，所以我先讲。可是我还没准备好，我是硬着头皮上台了，我讲故事可不怎么样，我就像一个老旧的词带一样，讲一下卡住了，再讲又卡在那了。之后我们的“王”登场了，他讲故事可以一级棒，大家听得如痴如醉。之后明星登场啦！是三个“蚊子家族”的女生，听众压根都听不见一点声音。最后兄弟“鱼尾巴”闪亮登场，可是他要拿本子上场，这讲故事就变成了读故事了。最后“王”获得了第一名，“老词带”我获得了第二名，“蚊子家族”获得了第三名，“鱼尾巴”获得了鼓励奖。

讲故事比赛真是有趣极了！

今年四月到六月，我参加了2017年“希望之星”英语风采大赛。这可是全国性的比赛哦！必须要闯过海选、市赛和省赛三关，才能去北京参加中央电视台的总决赛。

参加市赛的早上，我和妈妈坐车到了目的地。当时，太阳特别大，天特别热，而且人山人海。我们到了之后赶紧报到，接着就排队去比赛了。因为我是最后一个，等了好久才轮到我，裁判先让我抽图，准备看图说话，再自我介绍。我觉得自己前两个环节表现得挺好的，最后是回答问题，这个环节有点难，四个题中我只答出两个。紧接着裁判宣布结果，我心想：肯定有我！肯定有我！结果，真的有我！我拿了市赛一等奖，进入了省赛。

省赛的准备过程是非常艰难的，又是背台词，又是准备自我介绍，还有模拟考试。仅仅是看图说话环节，一训练就是一上午……

终于迎来了省赛。我怀着紧张的心情走进赛场，里面很安静，选手们都在努力地背词，我也不甘示弱。自我介绍环节，我们都做得非常好，看图说话环节就比较惨了，得知成绩后，我的心情非常低落，爸爸妈妈安慰我，要我别泄气，要我在下午最后一个环节加油，还特意给我复习了几遍演讲内容，我的心情又明朗起来。下午的比赛开始了，轮到我上场了，我站在台上，信心十足地完成了演讲，最后的分数还不错哦！

我的2017年“希望之星”英语风采大赛结束了，虽然我没有踏上国赛舞台，但是我虽败犹荣！这个过程中，我见识到了那些高手们的厉害！我一定要好好学习英语！我一定会回来的！明年再战！

三个工人在建筑工地上砌墙。有人问他们在做什么。 第一个工人悻悻地说：“没看到吗?我在砌墙。” 第二个人认真地回答：“我在建大楼”。 第三个人快乐地回应：“我在建一座美丽的城市。” 十年以后，第一个工人还在砌墙，第二个工人成啦建筑工地的管理者，第三个工人则成啦这个城市的领导者。思想有多远，我们就能走多远。在同一条起跑线上，态度决定一切;用美好的心情感触生活!你手头的小工作其实正是大事业的开始，能否意识到这一点意味着你能否做成一项大事业。 如果都像第一个人，愁苦地面对自己的工作，我想再好的工作也不会有什么成效;而同样平凡的工作，一样的看似简单重复，枯燥乏味，有人却能以快乐的心情面对，在平凡中感知不平凡，在简单中构筑自己的梦想，我想又有什么样的困难不可以克服呢? 小故事大道理： 成功的人总是目光远大，有理想，有自己的人生奋斗目标的，不会只看到眼前的困境而碌碌无为。

有个学者对他的同事说：“我发明的这台计算机有真正人的特点。” 那同事说：“你是想说，它会思想?” 学者又说：“那倒不是，但是如果它犯啦错，他会嫁祸于人。”

【哲理】对于有些人自以为的小聪明，很难说究竟是成就啦人还是败坏啦人。

青年时代的林肯在伊利诺斯州的圣加蒙加入民兵。上校指挥官是一个矮个子，身高只有四英尺多一点，而林肯的身材特别高大，大大超过指挥官。

由于林肯自己觉得身材高，他习惯于垂着头、弯着腰走路。上校看见他那弯腰曲背的姿势十分生气，把他找来训斥一顿。

“听着，阿伯，”上校大声喊道：“把头高高地抬起来，你这家伙!”

“遵命，先生。”林肯恭敬地回答。

“还要再抬高点。”上校说。

“是不是要我永远这个样子?”林肯问道。

“当然啦，你这家伙，这还用问吗?”上校冒火啦。

“对不起，上校，”林肯面带愁容地说，“那么只好与你说声再会啦，因为我永远看不见你了!”

作者：曲姿谕

星期五下午，我们年级举行了讲故事比赛，每个班有两名代表，我幸运的成为了选手，那天，我的运气很好，抽到的顺序是第25个，我已经知足了。

下午起床后，我们年级组织着进了五楼报告厅。我仔细倾听着前24个选手的精彩演示，快到了我了，我的脸不知怎么了就开始通红通红的，心脏也不知怎么了开始“怦怦怦”的跳了起来，恨不得现在就发高烧，不参加不比赛。我试着用深呼吸的方式来调整心跳，就这样，到我了。我迈着沉重的脚步走上主席台，流利的讲了起来。就在这时，突然，我忘词了，心里想：糟糕，我怎么忘词了！我努力地想啊想，想啊想，终于想起来了。剩下的就很顺利了。

开始颁奖了，我听着自己的名字，啊！不会吧，我真的成了“故事大王”，我太高兴了。

When I was very small, I liked to read novels and watched all kinds of

detective cartoons. In my heart, I have a small dream. I want to be a writer. So

I have written some short stories, but I am very shy and never let others to see

it. I keep revising the stories and when I am ready, I want my best friend to be

my first reader.

苏格拉底是古希腊的一名哲学家，下面小编为大家带来了关于哲学家苏格拉底的幽默故事，欢迎大家阅读，希望能够帮助到大家。

苏格拉底是古希腊伟大的哲学家，哲学家当时是很崇高的职业，因此有很多年轻人来找苏格拉底学习。

一天，一个年轻人来了，想要学习哲学。苏格拉底一言不发，带着他走到一条河边，突然用力把他推到了河里。年轻人起先以为苏格拉底在跟他开玩笑，并不在意。结果苏格拉底也跳到水里，并且拼命地把他往水底按。这下子，年轻人真的慌了，求生的本能令他拼尽全力将苏格拉底掀开，爬到岸上。

年轻人不解地问苏格拉底为什么要这样做，苏格拉底回答道：“我只想告诉你，做什么事业都必须有绝处求生那么大的决心，才能获得真正的成就。”

当时有不少年轻人向他求教演讲艺术。一天，有个年轻人为了表现自己，滔滔不绝地向苏格拉底讲了许多话，于是，苏格拉底向他索取双倍的学费。那年轻人问：“为什么要我加倍交费呢？”

苏格拉底说：“因为我要教你两门功课：一门是教你怎样学会闭嘴，另一门才是怎样地演讲。”年轻人听了羞愧地低下了头。

苏格拉底与学生相处总是那么乐观和睦，所以有学生问他：“我从没见过你蹙额皱眉，你的心情为何总是那么好？”

苏洛拉底回答道：“因为我没有那种失去了它，就会使我感到遗憾的东西。”那么学生听了很受启发，生活就需要像老师那样拿得起，丢得开。

事实上，苏格拉底在生活中一直遇到麻烦，大至雅典的奴隶主当权者要严厉处置他，小到他的妻子经常要向他发脾气。

他的妻子是出名的泼妇。一次，苏格拉底正在待客，妻子为了一件小事大吵大闹起来，他却淡然置之，笑着道：“好大的雷霆啊！”谁知妻子越闹越凶，竟然当着客人的面，将半盆凉水泼到了苏格拉底身上。

客人很尴尬，以为苏格拉底一定会发火了，谁知苏格拉底却心平气和他说：“我知道，雷霆过后，必有大雨。”

经过这件事后，妻子很后悔，决心改掉自己的坏脾气。

后来，当奴隶主当权者不容苏格拉底的“异言邪说”传播，将他处以死刑时，引起了普通百姓的极大愤慨，临刑时，一个妇女哭喊着：“他们要杀害你了，可是你什么罪也没犯呀！”

苏格拉底回答说：“噢，傻大姐，难道你希望我犯罪，作为罪犯死去才值得吗？”

这位伟大的哲人到生命的最后一刻，居然还保持着轻松幽默的情趣。

一个男孩身世悲惨，六岁被生母所卖，五年后又因养父母生了弟弟而被抛弃。四处流浪，经常挨打使他变得冷酷无情。

到了少保中心，依然恶习难除，常用欺负同学的`方式求得短暂快乐，发泄心中的怨恨。

男孩的自暴自弃让老师心痛，为了给予他更多的关爱，老师决定住在中心。但他却无视于老师的存心，反而更加怀念无拘无束的流浪生活。在决定逃离的当晚，落地时崴伤了脚。幸而被焦急寻找的老师及时发现，送往医院。

老师如母亲般彻夜不眠守护在病床旁，悉心的照料。男孩冰冷的心开始融化了，在打骂中成长的他，从未得到过一丝温暖。当老师为他泡脚、按摩时，终于忍不住扑进了老师的怀中，一遍遍地哭喊着「妈妈，妈妈……」

人间的至真至美莫过于这份爱，它可以温暖冷酷的心，唤回内心的良知，重新燃起本善的人性光辉。