英语幽默故事比赛英语作文(实用20篇)

曼德拉有一次在全非洲领导人参加的重要会议上演讲，因为年龄大了不小心把讲稿的页次弄乱了。这本来是一个很尴尬的事情，但是曼德拉却出口不凡：

他一边整理讲稿一边风趣地说：“你们要原谅一个老人把讲稿的页次弄乱，不过我知道在座的有一位总统，也曾经把讲稿弄乱，但是与我不同的是，他没有发现而是照样往下念。”

会场顿时响起经久不息的掌声，因为演讲中断而带来的尴尬也烟消云散。

到演讲结束的时候，曼德拉又来了一次幽默。他说：“感谢大会授予我卡马勋章，我现在退休在家，如果哪一天缺钱花了，我就拿到大街上去卖，我知道在座的有一个人一定会花大价钱买的，他就是我们的总统姆贝基。”

姆贝基和在座的所有的人都被曼德拉的幽默而感动，他们起立为曼德拉鼓掌，目送这位风趣的老人退场。

Many people ask what happiness is. I don’t know why there are many people

asking this question, because I think happiness is simple. As for me, I feel

happy when I do a good job in my study. Teachers praise me and my parents are

happy. Or, when I help others I feel happy. I am proud of myself. Besides,

playing with my classmates or friends is happy, too. We always have a great time

together. From above, they are all happiness.

卓别林能编，能导，能演，是不可多得的全能影人。有一次，他召开影片摄制会议，一只苍蝇在他四周绕着圈子飞。起初他用手打几下，没有打到，就要了一个苍蝇拍。会议进行中，他就握着苍蝇拍，摆出打苍蝇的姿态，眼睛狠狠地望着那苍蝇。可是打了三次，都没有打到。后来苍蝇就在他面前的桌上，他慢慢地拿起苍蝇拍，正要作死命一击时，忽然放下手中武器，让苍蝇飞走。旁边在座的人看了，就说：为什么你不把它打死?这位谐星耸了耸肩，说：这只不是方才那只!

英语寓言小故事：The Wolf and the Lamba

Wolf, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea, which should justify to the Lamb himself his right to eat him. He thus addressed him:"Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me." "Indeed," bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of voice, "I was not then born." Then said the Wolf, "You feed in my pasture."

"No, good sir," replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass." Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well." "No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother′s milk is both food and drink to me." On which the Wolf seized him, and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won′t remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations."The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny.

狼和小羊

一只狼瞧见一只迷路失群的小羊，决定暂缓下毒手，想先找一些理由，对小羊证明自己有吃它的权利。它就说：「小鬼!你去年曾经骂过我。」小羊可怜地说：「老实说，我去年还没有出生呢。」狼再说：「你在我的草地上吃过草。」

小羊回答说：「不，好先生，我还未曾尝过草的味道呢。」狼又说：「你喝过我井里的水。」小羊叫道：「不，我从没有喝过水，因为直到今天为止，我都是吃着母亲的奶汁。」狼一听这话，便抓住它，把它吃下去，便说：「好!即使你驳倒我每一句话，我终究要吃晚餐的!」暴君总有他暴行的借口。

A brave 9-year-old is recovering in hospital after he wrestled a 9-foot, 400lb alligator off him with his bare hands - and he now plans to make a necklace from a tooth doctors found embedded in a wound on his back.

佛罗里达州一名9岁的小男孩，在湖中游泳时，遭到一条长9英尺(约2.7米长)、重400磅(约180多公斤)的短吻鳄袭击，赤手与其搏斗之后，小男孩身上多处受伤，目前正在医院治疗中。医生从他背部的伤口里取出一颗短吻鳄的牙齿，小男孩表示想把它做成项链。

James Barney Jr, spoke calmly and eloquently about his ordeal from hospital, where he was tucked up in bed with a teddy bear by his side. He was covered in some 30 teeth marks, doctors said.

小男孩名叫小詹姆斯·巴尼，他在医院里平静、生动地讲述了自己与短吻鳄搏斗的经历，在他床边还放有一只泰迪熊。医生说，小詹姆斯全身有30多处牙印。

The little boy described how it was a hot day so he had parked his bike and jumped into Lake Tohopekaliga - a lake that people are forbidden to swim in - when he felt something brush against his leg.

小詹姆斯说那天特别热，于是他就把自行车停在一旁自己跳进了托霍普卡莱加湖，这个湖是禁止人们在里面游泳的，刚一进去他就感觉有东西擦到他的腿了。

It really amazed me what happened. At first, I thought someone was just playing with me, and I didnt know what happened, he told ABC.

“后来发生的事情真的让我大吃一惊。但开始的时候，我以为是有人在跟我闹着玩，我并不知道发生了什么事情。”他告诉广播公司(ABC)的记者。

I reached down to grab it, and I felt its jaw, I felt its teeth, and I didnt know what to do, so I immediately reacted and hit it a couple times. And I had enough strength to pry its jaw open. The child pulled the powerful jaws open long enough to slide out and swim to shore.

“我潜入水中抓住了它，摸到了它的下巴，摸到了它的牙齿，可不知道该怎么做，不过我立刻就反应过来了赶紧猛打了它几下，并使劲撑开了它的嘴巴。”小詹姆斯把它的嘴巴撑得足够大后赶紧退后并向岸边游去。

Witnesses say the boy surfaced, screaming that hed been bitten by an alligator. They immediately called 911.

目击者称小男孩浮出水面后尖叫着说自己被一只短吻鳄咬到了。于是他们立刻拨打911报警。

作者：孙栋浩

我们班有两名同学参加，一位是“王浩然”11好，”一位是“曲子愈”25号。”

我们觉得王浩然讲的别较好，因为他讲的时候很有精神，声音很大，很洪亮，讲的也很流利，还有一些符合要求的动作。

我们五(10)班的王浩然在比赛中的了第二名，满分十分，他的了9。64分，曲子愈是第10几名，是9点45分，最高的得了9。70分，王浩然讲的是岳家军，“岳飞”，讲得非常好，里面讲了，岳飞小的时候妈妈把精忠报国这四个字刻在了岳飞身上，然后岳飞长大了，每次处于打仗赫赫立功，为祖国献上了很大的贡献。

曲子愈讲的是《注视的眼睛》，讲的很好，但是在台上也有忘词的部分，里面讲的是，有一对妇女在一个商店偷偷的拿走了一把精美的伞，一个少年想把她抓住教训一番，可是被老婆婆组织了。

他们两人讲的故事都很有趣。

Helen Keller once wrote about these early days.

One beautiful spring morning I was alone in my room, reading. Suddenly a wonderful smell in the air made me get up and put out my hands . The spirit of spring seemed to be passing in my room. "What is it?"I asked. The next minute I knew it was coming from mimosa tree outside. I walked outside to the edge of the garden, toward the tree. There it was, shaking in the warm sunshine. Its long branches, so heavy with flowers, almost touched the ground. I walked through the flowers to the tree itself and then just stood silent. Then I put my foot on the tree and pulled myself up into it. I climbed higher and higher until I reached a little seat. Long ago someone had put it there. I sat for a long time... Nothing in all the world was like this.

Later Helen learned that nature could be cruel as well as beautiful. Strangely enough she discovery this in a different kind of tree.

One day my teacher and I were returning from a long walk. It was a fine morning but it started to get warm and heavy. We stopped to rest two or three times. Our last stop was under a cherry tree, a short way from our house. The shade was nice and the tree was easy to climb. Miss Sullivan climbed with me. It was so coot up in the tree, we decided to have lunch there. I promised to sit still until she went to the house for some food. Suddenly a change came over the tree. I knew the sky was black because all the heat which meant light to me had died out of the air. A strange odor came up to me from the earth . I knew it. It was the odor which always comes before a thunder storm. I felt alone, cut off from friends, high above the firm earth. I was frightened and wanted my teacher. wanted to get down from that tree quickly, but I was no help to myself. There was a moment of terrible silence. Then a sudden and violent wind began to shake the tree and its leaves kept coming down all around me. I almost fell. I wanted to jump, but was afraid to do so. I tried to make myself small in the tree as the branches rubbed against me. Just us I thought that both the tree and I were going to fall, a hand touched me . It was my teacher. I held her with all my strength, then shook with joy to feel the solid earth under my feet.

Miss Sullivan stayed with Helen for many year. She taught Helen how to read, how to write and how to speak. She helped her to get ready for school and college. More than anything, Helen wanted to do what others did, and do it just as well. In time Helen did go to college and completed her studies with high honors. But it was a hard struggle. Few of the books she needed were written in the Braille language that the blind could read by touching pages. Miss Sullivan and others had to teach her what was in these books by forming words in her hands. The study of geometry and physics was especially difficult. Helen could only learn about squares, triangles and other geometrical forms by making them with wires. She kept feeling the different shapes of these wires until she could see them in her mind.

During her second year college Miss Keller wrote the story of her life and what a college meant to her. This is what she wrote.

My first day at Radcliffe college was of great interest. Some powerful force inside me made me test my mind. I wanted to learn if it was as good as that of others. I learned many things at college. One thing I slowly learned was that knowledge does not just mean power, as some people say. Knowledge leads to happiness because to have it is to know what is true and real. To know what great man of the past had thought, said, and done is to feel the heartbeat of humanity down through the ages.

All of Helen Kellers knowledge reached her mind through her sense of touch and smell, and of course her feelings. To know a flower was to touch it, feel it and smell it. This sense of touch became greatly developed as she got older. She once said that hands speak almost as loudly as words. She said the touch of some hands frightened her. The people seemed so empty of joy that when she touched their cold fingers it is as if she were shaking bands with a storm. She found the hands of others full of sunshine and warmth. Strangely enough Helen Keller learned to love things she could not hear, music for example. She did this through her sense of touch. When waves of air beat against her, she felt them. Sometimes she put her hand to a singers throat. She often stood for hours with her hands on a piano while it was played. Once she listened to an organ. Its powerful songs made her moved her body in rhythm with the music. She also liked to go to museums. She thought she understood sculptures as well as others. Her fingers told her the true size and the feel of the material.

What did Helen Keller think of herself, what did she think about the tragic lost of her sight and hearing. This is what she wrote as a young girl.

Sometimes a sense of loneliness covers me like a cold mist. I sit alone, and wait at life s shut-door. Beyond there is light and music and sweet friendship. But I may not enter. Silence sits heavy upon my soul. Then comes hope with a sweet smile and said

softly " There is joy in forgetting oneself And so I tried to make the light in others eyes my sun, the music in others ears my symphony, the smile on others lips my happiness.

Helen Keller was tall and strong. When she spoke, her face looked very alive. It helped to give meaning to her words. She often felt the faces of close friends when she was talking to them to discover their feelings. She and Miss Sullivan both were known for their sense of humor. They enjoyed jokes and laughing at funny things that happened to themselves or others. Helen Keller had to work hard to support herself after she finished college. She spoke to many groups around the country. She wrote several books and she made one movie based on her life. Her main goal was to increase public interest in the difficulties of people with physical problems. The work Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan did has been written and talked about for many years. Their success showed how people can conquer great difficulties. Anne Sullivan died in 1936, blind herself. Before Miss Sullivan died, Helen wrote and said many kind things about her.

It was the genius of my teacher, her sympathy, her love which made my first years of education so beautiful. My teacher is so near to me that I do not think of myself as a part from her. All the best of me belongs to her. Everything I am today was awakened by her loving touch .

Helen Keller died on June 1st, 1968. She was 87 year old. Her message of courage and hope remains.

1、一把坚实的大锁挂在大门上，一根铁杆费了九牛二虎之力，还是无法将它撬开。钥匙来了，他瘦小的身子钻进锁孔，只轻轻一转，大锁就“啪”地一声打开了。

--每个人的心，都像上了锁的大门，任你再粗的铁棒也撬不开。惟有关怀，才能把自己变成一把细腻的钥匙，进入别人的心中。

2、晚饭后，母亲和女儿一块儿洗碗盘，父亲和儿子在客厅看电视。突然，厨房里传来打破盘子的响声，然后一片沉寂。儿子望着他父亲，说道:“一定是妈妈打破的。”“你怎么知道?”“她没有骂人。”

--我们习惯以不同的标准来看人看己，以致往往是责人以严，待己以宽。

3、有两个台湾观光团到日本伊豆半岛旅游，路况很坏，到处都是坑洞。一位导游连声说路面简直像麻子一样。而另一个导游却诗意盎然地对游客说:“我们现在走的正是赫赫有名的伊豆迷人酒窝大道。”

--虽是同样的情况，然而不同的意念，就会产生不同的态度。思想是何等奇妙的事，如何去想，决定权在你。

4、同样是小学三年级的学生，他们将来的志愿同是当小丑。中国老师斥之为:“胸无大志，孺子不可教也!”外国老师则会说:“愿你把欢笑带给全世界!”

--身为长辈的我们，不但要求多于鼓励，更以狭窄界定了成功的定义。

5、妻子正在厨房炒菜。丈夫在她旁边一直唠叨不停:“慢些、小心!火太大了。赶快把鱼翻过来、油放太多了!”妻子脱口而出:“我懂得怎样炒菜。”丈夫平静地答道:“我只是要让你知道，我在开车时，你在旁边喋喋不休，我的感觉如何……”

--学会体谅他人并不困难，只要你愿意认真地站在对方的角度和立场看问题。

6、一辆载满乘客的公共汽车沿着下坡路快速前进着，有一个人在后面紧紧追赶着这辆车子。一个乘客从车窗中伸出头来对追车子的人说:“老兄!算啦，你追不上的!”“我必须追上它，”这人气喘吁吁地说:“我是这辆车的司机!”

--有些人必须非常认真努力，因为不这样的话，后果就十分悲惨了!然而也正因为必须全力以赴，潜在的本能和不为人知的特质终将充分展现出来。

7、甲:“新搬来的邻居好可恶，昨天晚上三更半夜跑来猛按我家的门铃。”乙:“的确可恶!你有没有马上报警?”甲:“没有。我当他们是疯子，继续吹我的小喇叭。”

--事出必有因，如果能先看到自己的不是，答案就会不一样。

8、张三在山间小路开车，正当他悠哉地欣赏美丽风景时，突然迎面开来的货车司机摇下窗户大喊一声:“猪!”张三越想越气，也摇下车窗大骂:“你才是猪!”刚骂完，他便迎头撞上一群过马路的猪。

--不要错误地诠释别人的好意，那只会让自己吃亏，并且使别人受辱。

9、小男孩问爸爸:“是不是做父亲的总比做儿子的知道得多?”爸爸回答:“当然啦!”“电灯是谁发明的?”“爱迪生。”“那爱迪生的爸爸怎么没有发明电灯?”

--权威往往只是一个经不起考验的空壳子，尤其在现今这个多元开放的时代。

10、小明洗澡时不小心吞下一小块肥皂，他的妈妈慌慌张张地打电话给家庭医生求助。医生说:“我现在还有几个病人在，可能要半小时后才能赶过去。”小明妈妈说:“在你来之前，我该做什么?”医生说:“给小明喝一杯白开水，然后用力跳一跳，你就可以让小明用嘴巴吹泡泡消磨时间了。”

--事情既然已经发生了，何不坦然自在地面对。担心不如宽心，穷紧张不如穷开心。

周五早上，下了第二节课要去参加英语比赛。虽然准备比较充分但我的心情还是有点紧张。万一过不了预赛怎么办？“叮铃铃，叮铃铃”第二节课下课的铃声响了，我拿起水杯，飞快的向外跑去。

到了赛场，哇！真是人山人海，有的大人在着急的等待，有的同学紧张的要哭，还有的同学紧张的直冒汗……我找了一个空，挤了进去。轮到我抽号了，就要这个吧！打开一看，耶！是39号，不错，和我的参赛号一样。我拿好笔和纸，信心十足的上楼做听力。之后又满怀希望的回一楼讲了一个英语故事。最关键的时刻到了，马上就要公布成绩了，我又紧张起来。我也感觉到我的手心一直在冒汗，以前从来没这么紧张过。人名一个一个的念着，我的心情也是时起时落，终于在最后颁发的一等奖获得者名单里念到我的名字了，“我得了个一等奖，这表示我晋级了！”

加油！相信自己能走到最后。我兴奋的对自己说。

Since I was small, I like to play basketball, because I was effected by my father, he likes to watch basketball game so much, I will watch the basketball game with him. So when I went to school, I joined the basketball team in my class, we made up of a basketball team. Last week, we had our first match.

I was asked to play in the first time, I felt so nervous, I am so afraid that I could not cooperate with my team well. When the match started, I watched the basketball and moved as the ball flied, I forgot my job, I was asked to cover the team leader. I recognized my mistake, I changed my move, at last, I covered our captain successfully, our team won the game.

I learned so much from this match, team work comes first.

今天，林市天豪大酒店有一对新人结婚，宴席完毕，新郎阿刚和新娘小玉被大伙簇拥着进了宾馆里订好的豪华套间——洞房。这帮小伙、姑娘闹洞房的游戏层出不穷，小玉嫌身上的挎包碍事，就把包放在了桌子上。阿发的眼睛一亮，开始有目的地往桌子那边靠。

阿发何许人？小偷是也。他通常趁闹洞房的时候下手，那时大家闹得乱哄哄的，新郎新娘和闹洞房的宾客早已喝得迷迷糊糊，哪有人注意他的举动呢。可惜平城最近风声太紧，报纸上悬赏五万元抓捕洞房大盗的通缉令让他胆战心惊，因此他转战到了这千里之外的林市。

现在，阿发正一步一步靠近放有红色坤包的桌子，还有两米，一米，半米，阿发不由自主兴奋起来，只要一伸手那包就到手了。突然，阿发的手被拦在了半空中，一个戴眼镜的小伙子挤过阿发将手伸向了桌子，拿起了一个空啤酒瓶子，要让新人“舔筷子”。大伙一起哄，阿发又被挤远了。

阿发稳了稳心神，继续向目标靠近。这时，新郎和新娘好不容易把筷子舔了出来，大伙兴致更高了，一个小伙子又拿出一个装满面粉的大托盘，说里面藏了个糖果，要求新郎新娘采取吹面粉的方式把糖果找出来，看到新郎新娘满脸面粉，大伙乐不可支，阿发也终于如愿把那个包藏进了自己的怀里，正准备借机开溜。

这时，闹洞房到了最后一个环节——“新娘分糖”。新娘要顺时针方向点人数，“一二三”“一二三”，每点到“三”的那位才可以拿一包喜糖，拿了糖以后便可以离开。阿发颇不情愿地加入人圈，新娘小玉轻启朱唇，开始数数，人一个一个离开，阿发有些按捺不住了，可是新娘小玉每次数到他这儿偏偏不是一就是二，眼看洞房里剩的人越来越少，阿发反而不紧张了，心想最后只剩新郎和我才好哩，即使一会东窗事发自己也能轻松对付。

点来点去，洞房里只剩下一对新人和阿发，新郎阿刚笑眯眯地问，先生，你是阿玉的朋友？这一问出乎阿发的意料，他随口就答了句不是，还没等他想好怎么补救，阿刚又说，你这夹克穿着舒服吧？我那手机你也卖了个好价钱吧？

阿发纳闷，仔细一看，糟了，真是冤家路窄！刚来林市时，阿发买夹克把服装店老板的手机给顺走了。这新郎不是那店主是哪个？不同的是没有了那两撇小黑胡。自从进来就一直想着怎么偷包，压根没仔细看过新郎，此时既然已经说破也没什么好隐瞒的了，阿发凶相毕露，恶狠狠地说，告诉你们，哥们是道上混的，识相的老实点，否则我让你们喜事变丧事！

意外的是新娘阿玉竟一派悠然地走向阿发，阿发此时拿出事先藏好的匕首对着阿玉比划：“站住，否则你的小脸蛋就别想要了！”阿发刚进洞房的时候，阿刚就认出了阿发。但为了不伤害到宾客，只是悄悄地告诉了新娘阿玉。阿发更没料到的是新娘阿玉是位跆拳道高手，就这样阿发鼻青脸肿地被押进了派出所。

几天后，小两口意外地得到了一个大大的红包——平城抓捕洞房大盗的五万元奖金。

从前有两个重病人，同住在一家大医院的小病房里。房间很小，只有一扇窗子可以看见外面的世界。其中一个人，在他的治疗中，被允许在下午坐在床上一个小时（有仪器从他的肺中抽取液体）。他的床靠着窗，但另外一个人终日都得平躺在床上。

每当下午睡在窗旁的那个人在那个小时内坐起的时候，他都会描绘窗外景致给另一个人听。从窗口向外看可以看到公园里的湖。湖内有鸭子和天鹅，孩子们在那儿撒面包片，放模型船，年轻的恋人在树下携手散步，在鲜花盛开、绿草如茵的地方人们玩球嬉戏，后头一排树顶上则是美丽的天空。

另一个人倾听着，享受每一分钟。他听见一个孩子差点跌到湖里，一个美丽的女孩穿着漂亮的夏装他朋友的述说几乎使他感觉自己亲眼目睹外面发生的一切。

然而，在一个天气晴朗的午后，他心想：为什么睡在窗边的人可以独享看外头的权利呢？为什么我没有这样的机会？他觉得不是滋味，他越这么想，就越想换位子。他一定得换才行！有天夜里他盯着天花板瞧，另一个人忽然惊醒了，拼命地咳嗽，一直想用手按铃叫护士来。但这个人只是旁观而没有帮忙——尽管他感觉同伴的呼吸已经停止了。第二天早上，护士来的时候那人已经死了，只能静静地抬走他的尸体。

过了一段时间后，这人开口问，他是否能换到靠窗户的那张床上。他们搬动了他，帮他换位子，使他觉得很舒服。他们走了以后，他企图用手肘撑起自己，吃力地往窗外望窗外只有一堵空白的墙。

生命操之在我，过去、未来皆然。

这天，村长穆拉发现他的毛驴不见了，找遍了整个村子，也没找着。穆拉垂头丧气地坐在大门口不停地叹气。这时，两个邻居路过他家，见状，忙问穆拉怎么啦？

“我的毛驴不知道跑哪撒野去了！”穆拉气呼呼地说，“等它回来，我一卢比就把它卖掉！”

话刚说完，前方就响起了驴子的蹄声。穆拉抬头望去，只见一个男孩骑着一头毛驴慢悠悠而来，那头毛驴正是穆拉家的。

就在这时，两个邻居都掏出了一卢比，要买村长的毛驴。

“我刚才是说着玩儿的！”穆拉说。

“穆拉，你是村长，可不能食言。要不，传出去，大伙从此都不会信任你。”两人说。

邻居的话说中了穆拉的要害。是呀，要是他食言，下届村长选举就没有人再选他了。但他实在不愿意一个卢比就把毛驴卖掉，于是就说：“这样吧，为了向大家证明我是个守信的人，我们星期六在牲畜市场上碰面。到时，我当众将驴子出售。”邻居答应了。

星期六很快到了，穆拉牵着他的毛驴就站在牲畜市场的入口处。让大家惊奇的是，毛驴的尾巴上系着一根绳子，绳子的另一端系着一只猫。

“村长，这只猫怎么回事呀？”有人问道。

穆拉一笑，说道：“我将遵守诺言，以一个卢比的价钱卖掉我的毛驴。但是，我有个条件。我的毛驴和猫是好朋友，它们已相处多年，谁也离不开谁。哪位要买我的毛驴，也必须买下我的猫。”

“那么，你的猫要卖多少钱？”有人问。

“乡亲们，这些年来，我的猫捉了无数的老鼠。它可是一个英雄，身价自然要高些──一万卢比。”

大家都笑了，谁会花一万卢比买一只猫呢？

I live with my parents and my grandmother. My grandmother is a kind elderly

people. She likes talking and she always tells me stories of hers, my father’s

and mine. She is full filled with memories. She told me that I was quiet and

docile when I was little. My parents went to work all day, and my grandmother

took care of me and my cousin. After she fed me, I sat and played myself. She

didn’t have to worry much about me. I almost made no troubles. But my cousin was

not. He never sat well or ate his food tactfully. My grandmother had to always

keep an eye on him to prevent making troubles. But, there was one thing drove

her crazy. That was I didn’t like going to school. When I was at the school age,

my parents sent me to school. But I cried every morning when I arrived at

school. They had to comfort me for a long time to bring me into classroom. After

two or three months later, the situation became good. I like my grandmother

sharing the stories with me. It makes me warm and beloved.

人生就像一条漫长的道路，有鲜花，也有荆棘；有平坦，也有泥泞；有幸福，也有痛苦。唯有笑对人生，才能让生命不虚此行。

记得三年前的某一天，我进初中的第一次考试就考砸了，我看到试卷上鲜红的叉叉，心里很不是滋味。再加上那是正处于适应期，还未完全融入初中的环境，和周围人也很生分。种。种压力像山一样压在我身上，我快喘不过气了。放学后，我走在回家的路上，秋风裹挟着树叶，落了一地的悲凉。走在寒风中，我好冷，心更冷，我感到眼泪快要夺眶而出了。

此时，爸爸来接我了，我很意外，因为平时都是我自己一个人回家。爸爸给我带来了外套，他说天冷才来送衣服，顺便打听一下我考试的情况。我一下子泪雨滂沱，扑在爸爸怀里，把我考砸这回事儿还有我内心的感受一五一十全说了。爸爸听完，笑了：“就为了这点事呀，还哭，多丢人。”之后他语重心长地劝我，“这次考试又不决定你的命运，只要你把错误纠正、吸取教训就行了，胜不骄、败不馁嘛！至于环境，我相信你迟早会适应的，要满怀希望、要相信自己、要笑对人生，这样才会过好生活，迎接灿烂的朝霞！”听完父亲这一番话，我如醍醐灌顶，是啊，哭也是一天，笑也是一天，我为何不笑对人生呢？虽然人生路上有很多苦难和挫折，但是心态可以有自己控制，自己阳光了，乌云才会离你远去。于是，我收拾好心情，照爸爸的话把错题统统看一遍，找出错误的原因。在处理同学关系的问题上，我也抱着积极的态度，终于让身边的同学感受到了我的乐观，与我交了朋友，很快，我就完全适应了初中生活。

从那以后，无论生活中发生了什么不如意的事情，我都会笑着面对它。因为我知道，只有笑对人生，才能驱散阴霾、战胜困难！

In 1882 a baby girl caught a fever that was so fierce she nearly died. She survived but the fever left its mark she could no longer see or hear. Because she could not hear she also found it very difficult to speak.

1882年，一名女婴因高发烧差点丧命。她虽幸免于难，但发烧给她留下了后遗症 她再也看不见、听不见。因为听不见，她想讲话也变得很困难。

So how did this child, blinded and deafened at 19 months old, grow up to become a world-famous author and public speaker?

那么这样一个在19个月时就既盲又聋的孩子，是如何成长为享誉世界的作家和演说家的呢？

The fever cut her off from the outside world, depriving her of sight and sound. It was as if she had been thrown into a dark prison cell from which there could be no release.

高烧将她与外界隔开，使她失去了视力和声音。她仿佛置身在黑暗的牢笼中无法摆脱。

Luckily Helen was not someone who gave up easily. Soon she began to explore the world by using her other senses. She followed her mother wherever she went, hanging onto her skirts, She touched and smelled everything she came across. She copied their actions and was soon able to do certain jobs herself, like milking the cows or kneading dough, She even learnt to recognize people by feeling their faces or their clothes. She could also tell where she was in the garden by the smell of the different plants and the feel of the ground under her feet.

万幸的是海伦并不是个轻易认输的人。不久她就开始利用其它的感官来探查这个世界了。她跟着母亲，拉着母亲的衣角，形影不离。她去触摸，去嗅各种她碰到的物品。她模仿别人的动作且很快就能自己做一些事情，例如挤牛奶或揉面。她甚至学会*摸别人的脸或衣服来识别对方。她还能*闻不同的植物和触摸地面来辨别自己在花园的位置。

By the age of seven she had invented over 60 different signs by which she could talk to her family, If she wanted bread for example, she would pretend to cut a loaf and butter the slices. If she wanted ice cream she wrapped her arms around herself and pretended to shiver.

七岁的时候她发明了60多种不同的手势，*此得以和家里人交流。比如她若想要面包，就会做出切面包和涂黄油的动作。想要冰淇淋时她会用手裹住自己装出发抖的样子。

Helen was unusual in that she was extremely intelligent and also remarkably sensitive. By her own efforts she had managed to make some sense of an alien and confusing world. But even so she had limitations.

海伦在这方面非比一般，她绝顶的聪明又相当敏感。通过努力她对这个陌生且迷惑的世界有了一些知识。但她仍有一些有足。

At the age of five Helen began to realize she was different from other people. She noticed that her family did not use signs like she did but talked with their mouths. Sometimes she stood between two people and touched their lips. She could not understand what they said and she could not make any meaningful sounds herself. She wanted to talk but no matter how she tried she could not make herself understood. This make her so angry that she used to hurl herself around the room, kicking and screaming in frustration.   海伦五岁时开始意识到她与别人不同。她发现家里的其他人不用象她那样做手势而是用嘴交谈。有时她站在两人中间触摸他们的嘴唇。她不知道他们在说什么，而她自己不能发出带有含义的声音。她想讲话，可无论费多大的劲儿也无法使别人明白自己。这使她异常懊恼以至于常常在屋子里乱跑乱撞，灰心地又踢又喊。

As she got older her frustration grew and her rages became worse and worse. She became wild and unruly . If she didnt get what she wanted she would throw tantrums until her family gave in. Her favourite tricks included grabbing other peoples food from their plates and hurling fragile objects to the floor. Once she even managed to lock her mother into the pantry. Eventually it became clear that something had to be done. So, just before her seventh birthday, the family hired a private tutor Anne Sullivan.

随着年龄的增长她的怒气越为越大。她变得狂野不驯。倘若她得不到想要的东西就会大发脾气直到家人顺从。她惯用的手段包括抓别人盘里的食物以及将易碎的东西猛扔在地。有一次她甚至将母亲锁在厨房里。这样一来就得想个办法了。于是，在她快到七岁生日时，家里便雇了一名家庭教师 安尼沙利文。

Anne was careful to teach Helen especially those subjects in which she was interested. As a result Helen became gentler and she soon learnt to read and write in Braille. She also learnt to read peoples lips by pressing her finger-tips against them and feeling the movement and vibrations. This method is called Tadoma and it is a skill that very, very few people manage to acquire. She also learnt to speak, a major achievement for someone who could not hear at all.

安尼悉心地教授海伦，特别是她感兴趣的东西。这样海伦变得温和了而且很快学会了用布莱叶盲文朗读和写作。*用手指接触说话人的嘴唇去感受运动和震动，她又学会了触唇意识。这种方法被称作泰德马，是一种很少有人掌握的技能。她也学会了讲话，这对失聪的人来说是个巨大的成就。

Helen proved to be a remarkable scholar, graduating with honours from Radcliffe College in 1904. She had phenomenal powers of concentration and memory, as well as a dogged determination to succeed. While she was still at college she wrote ‘The Story of My Life. This was an immediate success and earned her enough money to buy her own house.

海伦证明了自己是个出色的学者，1904年她以优异的成绩从拉德克利夫学院毕业。她有惊人的注意力和记忆力，同时她还具有不达目的誓不罢休的毅力。上大学时她就写了《我的生命》。这使她取得了巨大的成功从而有能力为自己购买一套住房。

She toured the country, giving lecture after lecture. Many books were written about her and several plays and films were made about her life. Eventually she became so famous that she was invited abroad and received many honours from foreign universities and monarchs. In 1932 she became a vice-president of the Royal National Institute for the Blind in the United Kingdom.

她周游全国，不断地举行讲座。她的事迹为许多人著书立说而且还上演了关于她的生平的戏剧和电影。最终她声名显赫，应邀出国并受到外国大学和国王授予的荣誉。1932年，她成为英国皇家国立盲人学院的副校长。

After her death in 1968 an organization was set up in her name to combat blindness in the developing world. Today that agency, Helen Keller International, is one of the biggest organizations working with blind people overseas.

1968年她去世后，一个以她的名字命名的组织建立起来，该组织旨在与发展中国家存在的失明缺陷做斗争。如今这所机构，“国际海伦凯勒”，是海外向盲人提供帮助的最大组织之一。

中国现代著名学者胡适是属兔子的，他的夫人江冬秀是属老虎的，胡适常开玩笑说：“兔子怕老虎。”当时就流传了胡适怕老婆的笑话。

有一次，巴黎的朋友寄给胡适十几个法国的古铜币，因钱有“PTT”三个宇母，读起来谐音正巧为怕太太”。胡适与几个怕太太的朋友开玩笑说：“如果成立一个怕太太协会’，这些铜币正好用来做会员的证章。”

胡适经常到大学里去讲演。有一次，在某大学，讲演中他常引用

孔子、孟子、孙中山先生的话。引用时，他就在黑板上写：“孔说”，“孟说”，“孙说”。

最后，他发现自己的意见时，竟引起了哄堂大笑，原来他写的是：“胡说”。

It was sunny today. I was excited. I got up at a quarter to seven.

I made a appointment to meet at nine o’clock. After I had my breakfast, I went to the Wanjia Market . It was hot outside. When I arrived, my friends didn’t arrive. I waited for him in front of the KFC’s door.

I haven’t seen them for a year. And in a year, we didn’t come into contact with others frequently. About ten minutes left, my friends arrived one by one. After we greeted,we went to play basketball in Liwan Gymnasium. The match last for tow hours.Oh!I fill very happy today!

海伦用顽强的毅力克服生理缺陷所造成的精神痛苦。她热爱生活，会骑马、滑雪、下棋，还喜欢戏剧演出，喜爱参观博物馆和名胜古迹，并从中得到知识。她21岁时，和老师合作发表了她的处女作《我生活的故事》。在以后的60多年中她共写下了14部著作。以下是海伦凯勒的英语故事，欢迎阅读。

Helen Keller is an American blind and deaf writer and handicapped educator. Born on June 27, 1880 in northern Alabama, a town called taskama biya. She lost her sight and hearing in nineteen months, and then she lost her language skills. In this dark and lonely world, however, she learned to read and speak for her mentor, Anne Sullivan, and began to communicate with others. He graduated from Radcliffe college with honors and became a famous writer and educator with five languages of English, French, German, Latin and Greek. She travels through the United States and around the world, raising money for blind schools and dedicating her life to the blind welfare and the education career. She has won praise from all over the world and has been honoured by many national governments. The main works have "if give me three days light", "my life", "my teacher" etc. Helen Keller wrote 14 books in her life.

Helen Keller became blind and deaf as a child, but she went through college with great difficulty. She has written more than a dozen works in her life, while working to save children, protect womens rights and fight for racial equality. He was awarded the presidential medal of freedom in 1964.

She groped her way up in the dark. At the age of seven, the family hired a tutor for her, the teacher who influenced Helens life. Sullivan was almost blind as a child and understood the pain of loss of light. Under the guidance of her hard work, Helen learned to learn sign language by hand touch, she learned to read by touch, then she touched others lips and finally learned to speak.

Miss Sullivan, in order to bring Helen to nature, let her roll on the grass, run and jump in the fields, sow seeds in the fields, and climb trees to eat. Take her to touch the newborn pig, also to the river to play water. Under the care of her teacher, Helen overcame blindness and deafness and completed her college education.

Helen was very sad when she left the world in 1936 with her teacher for fifty years. Helen knew that without the love of her teacher, she would not have been today, determined to carry forward the love that the teacher gave her. So Helen traveled all over the United States in large and small cities, traveling around the world, working for people with disabilities, and working for those who were unhappy.

In 1968, Helen died at the age of 89, and she devoted all her life to the service of disabled people throughout the world. She wrote a lot of books and her story was made into a movie. Miss Sullivan gave her the most precious love, and she spread love to all the unfortunate people, giving them light and hope.

After her death, her strong will and outstanding contribution touched the whole world, and people everywhere celebrated her activities

"If give me three days light" is Helen Kellers prose masterpiece, she with a waist weak womans point of view, warned able-bodied people should cherish life, cherish the creator of all things. In addition, my life story, which is included in this book, is Helen Kellers autobiographical work, which is honored as "the greatest masterpiece in world literature history".

March 3, 1887, it was a very important day for Helen. On this day, she was brought in by a teacher, miss Anne Sullivan. Annie taught her to write and sign language. "No one can imagine how surprised and happy I am," said Mr. Yannagno of the boggins blind school, when he read a letter of the French letter with a look of surprise. For I believe in her ability, but also difficult to believe that her 3 months of learning is such good results, in the United States, other people to achieve this level, have to spend time in a year." Helen was nine years old

In the summer of 1894, Helen attended the American association for the advancement of deaf people, and was arranged to attend the school of the deaf in New York City, studying mathematics, nature, French, and German. Within a few months she could converse freely in German; In less than a year, she had finished her German work, William tell. Teachers who teach French do not understand sign language and have to be dictated. In spite of this, Helen soon mastered French and read the novel "the forced doctor" twice. During her time in New York, Helen got to know many friends of the literary world. Mark Twain read her wonderful short stories for her, and they established a sincere friendship. In her quiet home on the Merrimac river, Dr. Holmes read the poems of rouse bean, and when she read the last two pages, holmes placed a statue of a slave in her hand. "She was the emancipator of your mind," holmes told Helen. The doctor was referring to miss Anne. Helens heart was filled with excitement, the worlds beautiful thoughts, deep love, and solid pursuit, all like spring seeds deeply implanted in the heart. Helen confidently said, "Im going to college someday! Im going to harvard!" The day finally came. Harvard Universitys Radcliffe womens college has arranged her entrance exams in a special way. She used her hand to touch the raised braille, and then answered the question with a typewriter. Nine hours before and after, all subjects passed, English and German were the best grades, Helen started college with a keen heart.

In June 1904, Helen graduated from Radcliffe with honors. Two years later, she was appointed chairman of the Massachusetts blind committee and began a social work for the blind. She received the visiting blind people every day, and returned the same letters. Later on, she toured the country, traveling for the promotion of blind blind education plans and treatment plans. By 1921, the American foundation for the blind was finally founded. Helen, one of the groups leaders, has been working hard to strengthen the foundations work. In her busy work, she never put down her pen and finished 14 books successively. "The story of my life", "the song of the stone wall" "out of the dark," "optimism" and so on, all have a worldwide impact. Helens last work was the teacher, she has to collect the book notes and letters of 20 years, and all this and three-quarters of the manuscripts were burned in a fire, burn and braille library, along with their exquisite craft gifts from all over the world. If another person might be disheartened, but Helen felt more determined to finish it, and she sat quietly before the typewriter, and began to trudge again and again. Ten years later, Helen finished her book. She was relieved that the book was a gift to her teacher, and the teacher Anne was very proud of it.

On November 15, 1956, erect perkins the blind school in the United States on a plaque at the entrance of the curtain, with trembling hands, unveiled by Helen, it read: Helen Keller and Anne Su Liwen · wheat west. This is not a common plaque, but for those who have written a prominent chapter in the history of human civilization. Indeed, Helen has dedicated her life to the welfare of the blind and the cause of the education, which has earned the respect of people all over the world, and the United Nations has launched the "Helen Keller" world campaign. On June 1, 1968, Helen Keller, a deaf and blind scholar, writer, educator, who wrote the history of human civilization, passed away in flowers. However, her indomitable fighting spirit, her legendary life, but always in the history, just as the famous writer Mark Twain said: "in the 19th century appeared two great figures, one is napoleon, one is Helen Keller."

海伦·凯勒是美国盲聋哑女作家和残障教育家。1880年6月27日出生于亚拉巴马州北部一个叫塔斯喀姆比亚的城镇。她在19个月的时候因猩红热夺去了她的视力和听力，接着，她又丧失了语言表达能力。然而就在这黑暗而又寂寞的世界里，她因为她的导师安妮·沙利文的努力，使她学会读书和说话，并开始和其他人沟通。而且以优异的成绩毕业于美国拉德克利夫学院，成为一个学识渊博，掌握英、法、德、拉丁、希腊五种文字的著名作家和教育家。她走遍美国和世界各地，为盲人学校募集资金，把自己的一生献给了盲人福利和教育事业。她赢得了世界各国人民的赞扬，并得到许多国家政府的嘉奖。主要作品有《假如给我三天光明》、《我的生活》、《我的老师》等。海伦·凯勒一生一共写了14部著作。

海伦·凯勒自幼因病成为盲聋哑人，但她自强不息，克服巨大困难读完大学。一生写了十几部作品，同时致力于救助伤残儿童，保护妇女权益和争取种族平等的社会活动。1964年获得总统自由勋章。

她在黑暗中摸索着长大。七岁那一年，家里为她请了一位家庭教师，也就是影响海伦一生的沙利文老师。沙利文在小时候眼睛也差点失明，了解失去光明的痛苦。在她辛苦的指导下，海伦用手触摸学会手语，摸点字卡学会了读书，后来用手摸别人的嘴唇，终于学会说话了。

沙利文老师为了让海伦接近大自然，让她在草地上打滚，在田野跑跑跳跳，在地里埋下种子，爬到树上吃饭;还带她去摸一摸刚出生的小猪，也到河边去玩水。海伦在老师爱的关怀下，竟然克服失明与失聪的障碍，完成了大学学业。

1936年，和她朝夕相处五十年的老师离开人间，海伦非常的伤心。海伦知道，如果没有老师的爱，就没有今天的她，决心要把老师给她的爱发扬光大。于是，海伦跑遍美国大大小小的城市，周游世界，为残障的人到处奔走，全心全力为那些不幸的人服务。

1968年，海伦89岁去世，她把所有终生致力服务残障人士的事迹，传遍全世界。她写了很多书，她的故事还拍成了电影。沙利文老师把最珍贵的爱给了她，她又把爱散播给所有不幸的人，带给他们光明和希望。

死后，因为她坚强的意志和卓越的贡献感动了全世界.并且各地人民都开展了纪念她的活动

《假如给我三天光明》是海伦·凯勒的散文代表作，她以一个身残志坚的柔弱女子的视角，告诫身体健全的人们应珍惜生命，珍惜造物主赐予的一切。此外，本书中收录的《我的人生故事》是海伦·凯勒的本自传性作品，被誉为“世界文学史上无与伦比的杰作”。

1887年3月3日，对海伦来说这是个极重要的日子。这一天，家里为她请来了一位教师——安妮·沙莉文小姐。安妮教会她写字、手语。当波金斯盲人学校的亚纳格诺先生以惊讶的神情读到一封海伦完整地道的法文信后，这样写道：“谁也难以想象我是多么地惊奇和喜悦。对于她的能力我素来深信不疑，可也难以相信，她3个月的学习就取得这么好的成绩，在美国，别的人要达到这程度，就得花一年工夫。”这时，海伦才9岁

1894年夏天，海伦出席了美国聋人语言教学促进会，并被安排到纽约赫马森聋人学校上学，学习数学、自然、法语、德语。没过几个月，她便可以自如地用德语交谈;不到一年，她便读完了德文作品《威廉·退尔》。教法语的教师不懂手语字母，不得不进行口授;尽管这样，海伦还是很快掌握了法语，并把小说《被强迫的医生》读了两遍。在纽约期间，海伦结识了文学界的许多朋友。马克·吐温为她朗读自己的精彩短篇小说，他们建立了真挚友谊。霍姆斯博士在梅里迈克河边幽静的家里为她读《劳斯·豆》诗集，当读到最后两页时，霍姆斯把一个奴隶塑像放在她手中。这个蹲着的奴隶身上的锁链正好掉落下来，霍姆斯对海伦说：“她是你思想的解放者。”博士指的是安妮小姐。海伦的心中一阵激动，人世间美好的思想情操，隽永深沉的爱心，以及踏踏实实的追求，都像春天的种子深深植入心田。海伦从小便自信地说：“有朝一日，我要上大学读书!我要去哈佛大学!”这一天终于来了。哈佛大学拉德克利夫女子学院以特殊方式安排她入学考试。只见她用手在凸起的盲文上熟练地摸来摸去，然后用打字机回答问题。前后9个小时，各科全部通过，英文和德文还得了优等成绩，海伦怀着热切的心情开始了大学生活。

1904年6月，海伦以优异的成绩从拉德克里夫学院毕业。两年后，她被任命为麻萨诸塞州盲人委员会主席，开始了为盲人服务的社会工作。她每天都接待来访的盲人，还要回复雪片一样飞来的信件。后来，她又在全美巡回演讲，为促进实施聋盲人教育计划和治疗计划而奔波。到了1921年，终于成立了美国盲人基金会民间组织。海伦是这个组织的领导人之一，她一直为加强基金会的工作而努力。在繁忙的工作中，她始终没有放下手中的笔，先后完成了14部著作。《我生活的故事》《石墙之歌》《走出黑暗》《乐观》等，都产生了世界范围的影响。海伦的最后一部作品是《老师》，她曾为这本书搜集了20年的笔记和信件，而这一切和四分之三的文稿却都在一场火灾中烧毁，连同它们一起烧掉的还有布莱叶文图书室、各国赠送的精巧工艺礼品。如果换一个人也许心灰意冷，可海伦痛定思痛，更加坚定了完成它的决心，她不声不响地坐到了打字机前，开始了又一次艰难的跋涉。10年之后，海伦完成了书稿。她很欣慰，这本书是献给安妮老师的一份厚礼，老师安妮也为此而感到无比骄傲。

1956年11月15日，竖立在美国波金斯盲童学校入口处的一块匾额上的幕布，由海伦用颤抖的手揭开了，上面写着：纪念海伦·凯勒和安妮·苏莉文·麦西。这不是一块普通的匾额，而是为那些在人类文明史上写下了突出篇章的人们所设立的。的确，海伦把一生献给了盲人福利和教育事业，赢得了全世界人民的尊敬，联合国还曾发起“海伦·凯勒”世界运动。1968年6月1日，海伦·凯勒——这位谱写出人类文明史上辉煌生命赞歌的聋哑盲学者、作家、教育家，在鲜花包围中告别了人世。然而，她那不屈不挠的奋斗精神，她那带有传奇色彩的一生，却永远载入了史册，正如著名作家马克·吐温所言：“19世纪出现了两个了不起的人物，一个是拿破仑，一个就是海伦·凯勒。”

【篇一】

A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home. But the pumpkin is too big. The panda can’t take it home.

Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her. She watches the bike. “I know! I have a good idea.” she jumps and shouts happily, “I can roll a pumpkin. It’s like a wheel.”

So she rolls the pumpkin to her home. When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, “Oh, my God! How can you carry it home?” the little panda answers proudly, “I can’t lift it, but I can roll it.” Her mother smiled and says，“What a clever girl! Use you heard to do something,”

一只小熊猫摘了一只大南瓜，想把它拿回家。但是这只南瓜太大了，她没有办法把这么大的南瓜带回家。

突然她看见一只狗熊骑着一辆自行车朝她这边来。她看着自行车，跳着说：“有了!我有办法了。我可以把南瓜滚回家去。南瓜好像车轮。

于是她把那瓜滚回家。当她妈妈看到这只大南瓜的时候，很惊讶：“天啊!这么食的南瓜!你是怎么把它带回家来的?”小熊猫自豪地说;“我拎不动它，可是我能滚动它啊!”她妈妈微笑着说：“真聪明啊!记住：只要你肯动脑筋，没有难办的事。

【篇二】

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.

He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich mans house today, for I cannot get over the river."

He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.

Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.

幽默与严肃不经意地碰到了一起。严肃鄙夷地朝幽默斜了一眼，正要绕道而行时被幽默拦住了去路。

幽默嘿嘿地笑着说：“严肃大哥，你为何每次见了我就像是见了敌人一样呀?我并没有得罪过你呀?”

严肃扳着面孔说：“你是没有得罪我，但我看不惯你那啥事都嘻嘻哈哈的劲头，与你为伍我觉得脸红!”

幽默仍然是一副满不在乎的样子说：“严肃大哥你误会我了。其实我是觉得活得太累，想尽量通过开心一笑来减轻烦恼与压力，难道这有错吗?”

严肃说：“错倒是没错，不过你那满嘴无正经，全身无正形，专以嘲弄别人为快事的做法我不认同!”

听了严肃的这句话，幽默长长地叹了口气说：“唉!大哥呀，你就不能改改你那一层不变、看啥都是正经，古板、刻薄的眼光吗?我们可不是你说的那样下三滥。幽默的人先必须学会跟自己幽默才能去与别人幽默!幽默不是与人为敌而是与人为善;跟可以幽默的人幽默，对不可以幽默的人沉默;先智慧地嘲弄自己再智慧地嘲弄别人。这些幽默的原则你知道吗?”

严肃摇了摇头说：“第一次听说，觉得有点意思，也觉得很新鲜!”

幽默说：“世界上有意思的事多着呢!怪只怪你一天到晚以正统自居，看别的都认为是歪门斜道。其实我俩并不矛盾，幽默是轻松的严肃，是容易被人接受的严肃，我一直都在取你之长补己之短，如果你再不变革我相信要不了多久，你就会剩下一副人见人厌的外壳了，你说谁还会喜欢你呢?”

严肃苦笑着干咳了两声说：“嗯嗯，听君一席谈胜读十年书呀!惭愧!惭愧!唉!幽默老弟呀，你这可是说到我的痛处了。实话跟你老弟说吧，我活得确实不轻松呀!整天板着个脸，一本正经的连儿女都对我敬而远之，更别说是朋友了，他们正是说我不幽默。我现在可对你刮目相看了，怎么样?给我来点幽默好不好?”

幽默却摇了摇头说：“为了幽默而幽默就不幽默了!哦，对不起我还有事，等哪天有空我再和你幽默一把!”

严肃看着幽默的背影大声说：“那我们能成为朋友吗?”

“心急吃不了热汤圆，等我们能够互相幽默的时侯就成为好朋友啦!”远处传来幽默的回答声。