英语幽默故事比赛英语作文精品20篇

一只小象出门旅行，在路上碰到啦同样旅行的小猪。小象看着小猪，忍不住哈哈大笑着说：你的鼻子那么短，真是太好笑啦，太差劲啦，哈哈。小猪反驳道：笑个P啊，你鼻子那么长，就象脸上长个J8似的，还笑呢。两个小家伙互相嘲笑着前行，继续他们的旅行路程。

他们来到啦一颗苹果树前，又红又大的苹果挂满啦树冠膨大的苹果树。两只小家伙不禁口水横流，垂涎三尺。小象来到树下，用他的长鼻子轻松地将苹果击落下来。于是两只小家伙开开心心地吃起来。小猪边吃边说：原来你的鼻子也不是那么讨厌嘛，嘿嘿。

吃完苹果，他们继续前行。走着走着，他们来到啦一块番薯地。小猪说：看我的。说完，小猪用他的鼻子去拱地，拱啊拱啊，把埋在地下的番薯都拱啦出来。于是两只小家伙开开心心地吃起来。小象边吃边说：原来你的鼻子也不是那么差劲嘛，哈哈。

【哲理】不要总以为自己的才是最好的，不要总看到别人的缺点，要学会看到别人的优点，取长补短，学为己用。不要以为长的就是好的，有时候短的也不错哦。长的有充实感，短的有灵活性，各有各的好嘛。各位女性朋友，你们懂的.......

I like to watch movie so much, because I can learn a lot of things. Comedy

is my favorite type of movie. Every time when I watch it, I will laugh out

loudly. I find so much fun in comedy. It helps me to be humorous and make a lot

of friends. A humorous person is always favored by all, as he can bring

happiness.

一条大蟒蛇和一条小毒蛇是朋友。

这天他们在路边发现了一只巨大的乌龟。

蛇兄弟想，这么大的个儿，可是一顿美餐啊。

蟒蛇说：“我来对付他。”

于是蟒蛇施展自己的绝技，用身体将大乌龟牢牢地缠住。而大乌龟早已将身体缩进了壳里，任凭蟒蛇怎么缠绕，也无法伤害到大乌龟。泄气的蟒蛇，气喘吁吁地爬到了一边。

大乌龟谨慎地露出脑袋，在他露出脑袋的那一瞬间，小毒蛇闪电般地在乌龟脑袋上咬了一口，大乌龟又急忙缩回壳中。但是几分钟后，大乌龟因为中毒而死了。

蟒蛇说：“哇!我花了那么大力气也没能伤害乌龟，你却轻而易举地办到了啊。”

小毒蛇说：“因为我了解他的要害。”

可是接下来的还是有一个问题，大乌龟死后依然缩在壳里，两条蛇都是吞食性的动物，而他们又无法脱下乌龟的外壳，只好怏怏地离开了……

作者：张家硕

昨天，我们全体五年级举行了第五届讲故事比赛，我们的心里很开心。

我们起床了以后在小广场听主任说进场顺序，听完以后我们就去五楼报告厅走去听别人讲故事了，我们每个班出场两个人，我们班出场的是王浩然和曲姿谕，让我最喜欢的是王浩然的，我喜欢的理由是王浩然说话又大又大方，不像曲姿谕说话有点小，王浩然选的故事是抗战时期少年岳飞的故事，王浩然说了当年岳母把岳飞生下来的时候不知给岳飞起一个什么名字，忽然天上有一只大鹏鸟飞过，岳母就知道起什么名字，就叫岳飞吧！

有一次岳家起了一次洪水就把岳家冲没了，后来他们又找到了一个地方建了一个家，岳飞家中从小家就贫穷，常常吃不起饭，有一次加个朋友想带着岳飞拦路抢劫，可是岳飞不想，众兄弟再三劝说可是岳飞还坚决不去，岳飞想等到岳母回来的时候告诉岳母，岳母知道后给岳飞说这种事情咱可干不了，不知过了多久日寇开始进攻岳飞呆在那个地方，月奴给岳飞说咱们怎么办呀？岳飞只说：“上场杀敌，金忠报国。”岳母要给岳飞的背上刻上金忠报国这四个字，让岳飞永远记住，岳母说完，岳飞就脱下上衣请岳母下针，岳母说：“你不怕痛吗？”岳飞又说：“有点痛我还克制不了我还怎么上场杀敌”说完岳母就刻了起来。

从那时起，金忠报国这四个字永远的留在岳飞的背上了。

Long, long ago, a farmer thought the shoots in his fields were not growing fast enough. He wanted to help them.So he pulled every shoot up, then went home, feeling very tired but very satisfied. "Look, how great I an! I can think out such a good idea.From now on, my shoots will grow faster and faster," he thought. "I an very tired today," he said to his family, "Ive been helping the young shoots to grow."When his son heard this, he ran out to the fields to have a look.To his surprise, he found all the shoots weredead.

很久很久以前，一个农夫感觉他田里的幼苗长得不是很快，他想帮助它们。于是他就向上拔它们，然后回了家，虽然感觉很累但是却很满意。他默默地想：“瞧我多么的伟大，我能想出如此好的办法。从现在起，我的幼苗将会生长得越来越快。”于是他对家人说：“我今天累坏了，我在帮助幼苗生长。”当他的儿子听到这话，便匆忙跑到地里去看。让他吃惊的是，他发现所有的幼苗都死了。

"An illusory snake in a goblet" is used to describe the psychological state of being frightened caused by taking illusions as reality.

“杯弓蛇影”比喻把虚幻当作真实的恐惧心理。

In Jin Dynasty there was a man named Yue Guang who was fond of drinking alcohol.

晋朝有个叫乐(yuè)广的人，爱喝酒。

One day, he invited a friend to his house to drink together.

一天，他邀请朋友到家里来对斟（zhēn)对饮。

Suddenly, his friend saw the reflection of a snack swimming in the goblet.

忽然，朋友看见酒杯里有条蛇影在游动。

He got so much frightened that he took ill on bed after getting home.

他受了惊吓，回去便一病不起。

And neither any doctor or any medicine could cure his illness.

请医服药，都无起色。

Yue Guang came to see him and asked about the cause of his disease.

乐广跑来看他，问明起病的缘由。

When he got to know the cause, he pulled his friend from the bed immdiately and took him to his house.

乐广听后一把拉起朋友往家走。

Yue Guang made his friend sit where he used to, pouring a goblet of alcohol for him, and asked him," Is there any snake reflection in the goblet?"

他让朋友坐在原处，斟满酒问：“有蛇影吗？”

There was still a "snake reflection" in the goblet! Yue casually took away the bow hanging on the wall.

杯子里还有“蛇影”！乐广随手取下墙上的弓。

This time, the "snake reflection" disappeared.

这次，“蛇影”不见了！

"So it was the bow reflection that was in the goblet!" His friend at once got well from his illness.

“杯子里原来是弓影呀！”朋友的病情顿时好了！

海伦用顽强的毅力克服生理缺陷所造成的精神痛苦。她热爱生活，会骑马、滑雪、下棋，还喜欢戏剧演出，喜爱参观博物馆和名胜古迹，并从中得到知识。她21岁时，和老师合作发表了她的处女作《我生活的故事》。在以后的60多年中她共写下了14部著作。以下是海伦凯勒的英语故事，欢迎阅读。

Helen Keller is an American blind and deaf writer and handicapped educator. Born on June 27, 1880 in northern Alabama, a town called taskama biya. She lost her sight and hearing in nineteen months, and then she lost her language skills. In this dark and lonely world, however, she learned to read and speak for her mentor, Anne Sullivan, and began to communicate with others. He graduated from Radcliffe college with honors and became a famous writer and educator with five languages of English, French, German, Latin and Greek. She travels through the United States and around the world, raising money for blind schools and dedicating her life to the blind welfare and the education career. She has won praise from all over the world and has been honoured by many national governments. The main works have "if give me three days light", "my life", "my teacher" etc. Helen Keller wrote 14 books in her life.

Helen Keller became blind and deaf as a child, but she went through college with great difficulty. She has written more than a dozen works in her life, while working to save children, protect womens rights and fight for racial equality. He was awarded the presidential medal of freedom in 1964.

She groped her way up in the dark. At the age of seven, the family hired a tutor for her, the teacher who influenced Helens life. Sullivan was almost blind as a child and understood the pain of loss of light. Under the guidance of her hard work, Helen learned to learn sign language by hand touch, she learned to read by touch, then she touched others lips and finally learned to speak.

Miss Sullivan, in order to bring Helen to nature, let her roll on the grass, run and jump in the fields, sow seeds in the fields, and climb trees to eat. Take her to touch the newborn pig, also to the river to play water. Under the care of her teacher, Helen overcame blindness and deafness and completed her college education.

Helen was very sad when she left the world in 1936 with her teacher for fifty years. Helen knew that without the love of her teacher, she would not have been today, determined to carry forward the love that the teacher gave her. So Helen traveled all over the United States in large and small cities, traveling around the world, working for people with disabilities, and working for those who were unhappy.

In 1968, Helen died at the age of 89, and she devoted all her life to the service of disabled people throughout the world. She wrote a lot of books and her story was made into a movie. Miss Sullivan gave her the most precious love, and she spread love to all the unfortunate people, giving them light and hope.

After her death, her strong will and outstanding contribution touched the whole world, and people everywhere celebrated her activities

"If give me three days light" is Helen Kellers prose masterpiece, she with a waist weak womans point of view, warned able-bodied people should cherish life, cherish the creator of all things. In addition, my life story, which is included in this book, is Helen Kellers autobiographical work, which is honored as "the greatest masterpiece in world literature history".

March 3, 1887, it was a very important day for Helen. On this day, she was brought in by a teacher, miss Anne Sullivan. Annie taught her to write and sign language. "No one can imagine how surprised and happy I am," said Mr. Yannagno of the boggins blind school, when he read a letter of the French letter with a look of surprise. For I believe in her ability, but also difficult to believe that her 3 months of learning is such good results, in the United States, other people to achieve this level, have to spend time in a year." Helen was nine years old

In the summer of 1894, Helen attended the American association for the advancement of deaf people, and was arranged to attend the school of the deaf in New York City, studying mathematics, nature, French, and German. Within a few months she could converse freely in German; In less than a year, she had finished her German work, William tell. Teachers who teach French do not understand sign language and have to be dictated. In spite of this, Helen soon mastered French and read the novel "the forced doctor" twice. During her time in New York, Helen got to know many friends of the literary world. Mark Twain read her wonderful short stories for her, and they established a sincere friendship. In her quiet home on the Merrimac river, Dr. Holmes read the poems of rouse bean, and when she read the last two pages, holmes placed a statue of a slave in her hand. "She was the emancipator of your mind," holmes told Helen. The doctor was referring to miss Anne. Helens heart was filled with excitement, the worlds beautiful thoughts, deep love, and solid pursuit, all like spring seeds deeply implanted in the heart. Helen confidently said, "Im going to college someday! Im going to harvard!" The day finally came. Harvard Universitys Radcliffe womens college has arranged her entrance exams in a special way. She used her hand to touch the raised braille, and then answered the question with a typewriter. Nine hours before and after, all subjects passed, English and German were the best grades, Helen started college with a keen heart.

In June 1904, Helen graduated from Radcliffe with honors. Two years later, she was appointed chairman of the Massachusetts blind committee and began a social work for the blind. She received the visiting blind people every day, and returned the same letters. Later on, she toured the country, traveling for the promotion of blind blind education plans and treatment plans. By 1921, the American foundation for the blind was finally founded. Helen, one of the groups leaders, has been working hard to strengthen the foundations work. In her busy work, she never put down her pen and finished 14 books successively. "The story of my life", "the song of the stone wall" "out of the dark," "optimism" and so on, all have a worldwide impact. Helens last work was the teacher, she has to collect the book notes and letters of 20 years, and all this and three-quarters of the manuscripts were burned in a fire, burn and braille library, along with their exquisite craft gifts from all over the world. If another person might be disheartened, but Helen felt more determined to finish it, and she sat quietly before the typewriter, and began to trudge again and again. Ten years later, Helen finished her book. She was relieved that the book was a gift to her teacher, and the teacher Anne was very proud of it.

On November 15, 1956, erect perkins the blind school in the United States on a plaque at the entrance of the curtain, with trembling hands, unveiled by Helen, it read: Helen Keller and Anne Su Liwen · wheat west. This is not a common plaque, but for those who have written a prominent chapter in the history of human civilization. Indeed, Helen has dedicated her life to the welfare of the blind and the cause of the education, which has earned the respect of people all over the world, and the United Nations has launched the "Helen Keller" world campaign. On June 1, 1968, Helen Keller, a deaf and blind scholar, writer, educator, who wrote the history of human civilization, passed away in flowers. However, her indomitable fighting spirit, her legendary life, but always in the history, just as the famous writer Mark Twain said: "in the 19th century appeared two great figures, one is napoleon, one is Helen Keller."

海伦·凯勒是美国盲聋哑女作家和残障教育家。1880年6月27日出生于亚拉巴马州北部一个叫塔斯喀姆比亚的城镇。她在19个月的时候因猩红热夺去了她的视力和听力，接着，她又丧失了语言表达能力。然而就在这黑暗而又寂寞的世界里，她因为她的导师安妮·沙利文的努力，使她学会读书和说话，并开始和其他人沟通。而且以优异的成绩毕业于美国拉德克利夫学院，成为一个学识渊博，掌握英、法、德、拉丁、希腊五种文字的著名作家和教育家。她走遍美国和世界各地，为盲人学校募集资金，把自己的一生献给了盲人福利和教育事业。她赢得了世界各国人民的赞扬，并得到许多国家政府的嘉奖。主要作品有《假如给我三天光明》、《我的生活》、《我的老师》等。海伦·凯勒一生一共写了14部著作。

海伦·凯勒自幼因病成为盲聋哑人，但她自强不息，克服巨大困难读完大学。一生写了十几部作品，同时致力于救助伤残儿童，保护妇女权益和争取种族平等的社会活动。1964年获得总统自由勋章。

她在黑暗中摸索着长大。七岁那一年，家里为她请了一位家庭教师，也就是影响海伦一生的沙利文老师。沙利文在小时候眼睛也差点失明，了解失去光明的痛苦。在她辛苦的指导下，海伦用手触摸学会手语，摸点字卡学会了读书，后来用手摸别人的嘴唇，终于学会说话了。

沙利文老师为了让海伦接近大自然，让她在草地上打滚，在田野跑跑跳跳，在地里埋下种子，爬到树上吃饭;还带她去摸一摸刚出生的小猪，也到河边去玩水。海伦在老师爱的关怀下，竟然克服失明与失聪的障碍，完成了大学学业。

1936年，和她朝夕相处五十年的老师离开人间，海伦非常的伤心。海伦知道，如果没有老师的爱，就没有今天的她，决心要把老师给她的爱发扬光大。于是，海伦跑遍美国大大小小的城市，周游世界，为残障的人到处奔走，全心全力为那些不幸的人服务。

1968年，海伦89岁去世，她把所有终生致力服务残障人士的事迹，传遍全世界。她写了很多书，她的故事还拍成了电影。沙利文老师把最珍贵的爱给了她，她又把爱散播给所有不幸的人，带给他们光明和希望。

死后，因为她坚强的意志和卓越的贡献感动了全世界.并且各地人民都开展了纪念她的活动

《假如给我三天光明》是海伦·凯勒的散文代表作，她以一个身残志坚的柔弱女子的视角，告诫身体健全的人们应珍惜生命，珍惜造物主赐予的一切。此外，本书中收录的《我的人生故事》是海伦·凯勒的本自传性作品，被誉为“世界文学史上无与伦比的杰作”。

1887年3月3日，对海伦来说这是个极重要的日子。这一天，家里为她请来了一位教师——安妮·沙莉文小姐。安妮教会她写字、手语。当波金斯盲人学校的亚纳格诺先生以惊讶的神情读到一封海伦完整地道的法文信后，这样写道：“谁也难以想象我是多么地惊奇和喜悦。对于她的能力我素来深信不疑，可也难以相信，她3个月的学习就取得这么好的成绩，在美国，别的人要达到这程度，就得花一年工夫。”这时，海伦才9岁

1894年夏天，海伦出席了美国聋人语言教学促进会，并被安排到纽约赫马森聋人学校上学，学习数学、自然、法语、德语。没过几个月，她便可以自如地用德语交谈;不到一年，她便读完了德文作品《威廉·退尔》。教法语的教师不懂手语字母，不得不进行口授;尽管这样，海伦还是很快掌握了法语，并把小说《被强迫的医生》读了两遍。在纽约期间，海伦结识了文学界的许多朋友。马克·吐温为她朗读自己的精彩短篇小说，他们建立了真挚友谊。霍姆斯博士在梅里迈克河边幽静的家里为她读《劳斯·豆》诗集，当读到最后两页时，霍姆斯把一个奴隶塑像放在她手中。这个蹲着的奴隶身上的锁链正好掉落下来，霍姆斯对海伦说：“她是你思想的解放者。”博士指的是安妮小姐。海伦的心中一阵激动，人世间美好的思想情操，隽永深沉的爱心，以及踏踏实实的追求，都像春天的种子深深植入心田。海伦从小便自信地说：“有朝一日，我要上大学读书!我要去哈佛大学!”这一天终于来了。哈佛大学拉德克利夫女子学院以特殊方式安排她入学考试。只见她用手在凸起的盲文上熟练地摸来摸去，然后用打字机回答问题。前后9个小时，各科全部通过，英文和德文还得了优等成绩，海伦怀着热切的心情开始了大学生活。

1904年6月，海伦以优异的成绩从拉德克里夫学院毕业。两年后，她被任命为麻萨诸塞州盲人委员会主席，开始了为盲人服务的社会工作。她每天都接待来访的盲人，还要回复雪片一样飞来的信件。后来，她又在全美巡回演讲，为促进实施聋盲人教育计划和治疗计划而奔波。到了1921年，终于成立了美国盲人基金会民间组织。海伦是这个组织的领导人之一，她一直为加强基金会的工作而努力。在繁忙的工作中，她始终没有放下手中的笔，先后完成了14部著作。《我生活的故事》《石墙之歌》《走出黑暗》《乐观》等，都产生了世界范围的影响。海伦的最后一部作品是《老师》，她曾为这本书搜集了20年的笔记和信件，而这一切和四分之三的文稿却都在一场火灾中烧毁，连同它们一起烧掉的还有布莱叶文图书室、各国赠送的精巧工艺礼品。如果换一个人也许心灰意冷，可海伦痛定思痛，更加坚定了完成它的决心，她不声不响地坐到了打字机前，开始了又一次艰难的跋涉。10年之后，海伦完成了书稿。她很欣慰，这本书是献给安妮老师的一份厚礼，老师安妮也为此而感到无比骄傲。

1956年11月15日，竖立在美国波金斯盲童学校入口处的一块匾额上的幕布，由海伦用颤抖的手揭开了，上面写着：纪念海伦·凯勒和安妮·苏莉文·麦西。这不是一块普通的匾额，而是为那些在人类文明史上写下了突出篇章的人们所设立的。的确，海伦把一生献给了盲人福利和教育事业，赢得了全世界人民的尊敬，联合国还曾发起“海伦·凯勒”世界运动。1968年6月1日，海伦·凯勒——这位谱写出人类文明史上辉煌生命赞歌的聋哑盲学者、作家、教育家，在鲜花包围中告别了人世。然而，她那不屈不挠的奋斗精神，她那带有传奇色彩的一生，却永远载入了史册，正如著名作家马克·吐温所言：“19世纪出现了两个了不起的人物，一个是拿破仑，一个就是海伦·凯勒。”

Last week,one of classmates said,"do you want a bet?" I asked,"what for?" the classmate replied,"do you dare to had a running race with Tony." I answered,"Why not?" Unfortunately,I lost the running race,because I dint know he was a good runner,and Tony ran so fast.Before running race,I bet him $$200.00 that I would win for the running race.In fact,I not only lost the competition,but also lost $$200.00.

The game was scheduled to start at start at eight o’clock on Friday night. Long before that, people began to arrive at the gymnasium.

By seven-thirty the seats were almost filled. The school band was there; they wore yellow and black uniforms. They started to play at about a quarter to eight. Everybody stood up, and the people sang. The game was about to start. Two teams ran out to the floor. The referee blew his whistle, and the game started. A basketball game is divided into two halves, and each half is divided into two quarters.

There is a rest period between the halves. During the first five minutes of the second half, the score was tied. From then on, the game was very exciting. First one team made a basket, then the other. The people cheered, and everybody was wondering which team was going to win.

唐朝有个皇族的后裔叫李载仁，由于当时战争四起，所以百姓们都没有安定的日子过，为了逃避战乱，李载仁跑到江陵高季兴那里，做了个观察推官。他生性迂腐，行动缓慢，从不吃猪肉。

有一次，他将要去接受上司的召见，刚上马，家里的仆人打架了。李载仁大怒，叫人立即从厨房里拿来大饼和猪肉，让打架的人当着他的面吃下去，并且警告说：“以后如果胆敢再打架，一定要在猪肉里加上酥油来重重地惩罚你们!”

【大道理】：

不要因为自己不喜欢的事情，别人非常喜欢也说不定;

如果用别人喜欢的事情自己不喜欢的事情去惩罚别人，那是一种愚蠢的行为。

A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home. But the pumpkin is too big. The panda cant take it home.

Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her. She watches the bike. "I know! I have a good idea." she jumps and shouts happily, "I can roll a pumpkin. Its like a wheel."

So she rolls the pumpkin to her home. When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, "Oh, my God! How can you carry it home?" the little panda answers proudly, "I cant lift it, but I can roll it." Her mother smiled and says, "What a clever girl! Use you heard to do something,"

聪明的熊猫

一只小熊猫摘了一只大南瓜，想把它拿回家。但是这只南瓜太大了，她没有办法把这么大的南瓜带回家。

突然她看见一只狗熊骑着一辆自行车朝她这边来。她看着自行车，跳着说：“有了!我有办法了。我可以把南瓜滚回家去。南瓜好像车轮。

于是她把那瓜滚回家。当她妈妈看到这只大南瓜的时候，很惊讶：“天啊!这么食的南瓜!你是怎么把它带回家来的?”小熊猫自豪地说;“我拎不动它，可是我能滚动它啊!”她妈妈微笑着说：“真聪明啊!记住：只要你肯动脑筋，没有难办的事。

雄鹰

A boy found an eagles egg and he put it in the nest of a prairie chicken. The eagle hatched and thought he was a chicken. He grew up doing what prairie chicken do-scratching at the dirt for food and flying short distances with a noisy fluttering of wings. It was a dreary life. Gradually the eagle grew older and bitter. One day he and his prairie chicken friend saw a beautiful bird soaring on the currents of air, high above the mountains.

"Oh, I wish I could fly like that!" said the eagle. The chicken replied, "Dont give it another thought. Thats the mighty eagle, the king of all birds-you could never be like him!" And the eagle didnt give it another thought. He went on cackling and complaining about life. He died thinking he was a prairie chicken. My friends, you too were born an eagle. The Creator intended you to be an eagle, so don’t listen to the prairie chickens!

一个小男孩发现了一只老鹰下的蛋，把它放进了一只山鸡的窝里。鹰被孵出来了，但他以为自己是一只山鸡。渐渐的他长大了，却做着山鸡所做的事---从泥土里寻找食物，做短距离的飞翔，翅膀还啪啪作响。生活非常沉闷，渐渐地鹰长大了，也越来越苦恼。有一天，他和他的山鸡朋友看见一只美丽的鸟在天空翱翔，飞的比山还高。

“哦，我要能飞的那么高该多好啊！”鹰说。山鸡回答说，“不要想了，那是凶猛无比的鹰，鸟中之王---你不可能像他一样！”于是鹰放弃了那个念头。他继续咯咯地叫，不停的抱怨生活。最后他死了，依然认为自己是一只山鸡。朋友们，你们天生就是雄鹰。造物主有意把你造就成一只雄鹰，所以不要听信山鸡的话！

Here is a funny (and repelling!) trick to do in front of your friends just before dinner, if you do not want them to eat too much on your cost. Load your plate up high with everything including the salad, a piece of turkey, a bit of soup and some bread crumbles. Toss it all in the blender and offer your new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake to everyone. You can be sure to delay the dinnertime by an hour at least with this trick.

如果你不想请客吃饭时被朋友吃掉太多钱，以下是开饭前的一个小窍门。把自己盘子里的食物堆得高高的，包括沙拉、一块火鸡、一点汤和一些面包渣。把这些食物全搅在一起，然后请其他人吃你新发明的“感恩节减肥奶昔”。靠这个窍门你绝对能把用餐时间推迟一小时。

一个人去买鹦鹉，看到一只鹦鹉前标：此鹦鹉会两门语言，售价二百元。另一只鹦鹉前则标道：此鹦鹉会四门语言，售价四百元。该买哪只呢？两只都毛色光鲜，十分灵活可爱。这人转啊转，拿不定主意。结果突然发现一只老掉了牙的鹦鹉，毛色暗淡散乱，标价八百元。这人赶紧将老板叫来：这只鹦鹉是不是会说八门语言？店主说：不。这人个性了：那为什么又老又丑，又没有潜质，会值这个数呢？店主回答：正因另外两只鹦鹉叫这只鹦鹉老板。

这故事告诉我们，真正的领导人，不必须自己潜质有多强，只要懂信任，懂放权，懂珍惜，就能团结比自己更强的力量，从而提升自己的身价。相反许多能十分强的人却正因过于完美主义，事必躬亲，什么人都不如自己，最后只能做最好的攻关人员，销售代表，成不了优秀的领导人。

有一天，萧伯纳应邀参加了一个丰盛的晚宴。席间有一青年在大文豪面前滔滔不绝地吹嘘自己的天才，好像自己天南海北样样通晓，大有不可一世的气概。

起初，萧伯纳缄口不言，洗耳恭听。后来，愈听愈觉得不是滋味。最后，他终于忍不住了，便开口说道：“年轻的朋友，只要我们两人联合起来，世界上的事情就无一不晓了。”

那人惊愕地说：“未必如此吧！”

萧伯纳说：“怎么不是，你是这样地精通世界万物，不过，尚有一点欠缺，就是不知夸夸其谈会使丰盛的佳肴也变得淡而无味，而我刚好明了这一点，咱俩合起来，岂不是无一不晓了吗？”

A man of the state of Zheng wanted to buy a pair of shoes.

从前，郑国有个人想买双鞋。

He measured his foot and put the measurement on a chair.

他量好了自己脚的尺码，把它放在了椅子上。

When he set out for the market,he forgot to bring it along.

可当他赶往市集时，却忘了带量好的尺码。

It was after he had found the pair he wanted that this occurred to him.

他要买鞋时，才想了起来。

"I forgot the measurement", said he.

他说：“我忘带尺码了。”

He went home to get it. But when he returned, the market had closed and he did not get his shoes after all.

他回家去取量好的尺码。等他赶回来时，市集已经关了，他还是没能买到鞋。

"Why didnt you try on the shoes with your feet?" He was asked.

有人问：“为什么不用你自己的脚去试一试鞋子呢?”

"Id rather trust the measurement than trust myself."

他说：“我宁愿相信尺码也不相信我自己的脚。”

导语：现代社会笑话中也是有一定的哲理的，下面是小编整理的现代哲理幽默笑话小故事，欢迎大家阅读!

一、广东一伙劫匪在抢劫银行时说了一句至理名言：“通通不许动，钱是国家的，命是自己的!”大家都一声不吭躺倒。

【这叫观念转化，改变原有固定思维方式。】

劫匪望了一眼穿着裙子躺在桌上呈大字形的出纳小姐，说：“请你躺文明些!这是劫财，又不是劫色!”

【这叫坚持职业操守，不该干的不干!】

抢劫成功回去后，其中一个新来的劫匪(硕士学历)说，“老大，我们赶快数一下抢了多少”， 那老劫匪(小学学历)说：“你傻啊?这么多钱，你要数到什么时候啊?今天晚上看新闻不就知道了吗。”

【这就叫工作经验，这年头工作经验比学历更重要!】

劫匪走后，行长说，赶紧报案!主任刚要走，行长急忙说：“ 等等!把我们上次私自挪用的那五百万也加上去!”

【这叫危机预案，化不利为有利!】

主任说：“要是劫匪每个月都来抢一回就好了”。 工作很枯燥，快乐最重要! 第二天新闻联播报道银行被抢了一亿，可劫匪数来数去只有两千万。 老大骂道：“妈的，老子拼了一条命才抢了两千万，银行行长动动手指头就赚了八千万，看来这年头还是要读书啊!”

【知识可以转化金钱的明证!】

银行行长看到新闻联播后激动滴对主任说：“妈的，你小子可以，胆儿够肥的啊......” 主任笑而不语，如卸重负暗自庆幸：“妈的，终于通过劫匪把买中石油股票的窟窿补了。”

【说明要抓住机会顺势而为，且要敢于冒险!】

二、女浴室起火，里面人乱作一团，赤身往外跑，只见大街上白花花一大群，一老者大喊“快捂住”，众裸女突然醒悟，但身上要紧部位有三处，手忙脚乱捂不过来，不知所措。这时老者又大喊：“捂脸就行，下面都一样!”

【此事的重要启示：在特殊情况下抓工作不可能面面俱到，要抓住重点。】

三、某日,女秘书神色凝重地说：王总,我怀孕了。 王继续低头看文件,

然后淡淡一笑:我早结扎了。 女秘书楞了一会媚笑道:我和您开玩笑呢! 王抬起头看了她一眼，喝了口茶说:我也是。

【此事的重要启示：在江湖上混的人,遇事不要慌,先让子弹飞一会。】

四、男子去提亲，女方家长：请自我介绍。A说：我有一千万;B说：我有一栋豪宅，价值两千万;

家长很满意。就问C，你家有什么?C答：我什么都没有，只有一个孩子，在你女儿肚子里。AB无语，走了。

【此事的重要启示：核心竞争力不是钱和房子，是在关键的岗位有自已的人。】

五、7年前他为了出国抛弃了未婚妻，现在事业有成，他开始愧疚，听说她过的不好，他想去弥补。他去到了她的鱼摊，她在刮鳞边上蹲着一个男娃，模样有几分像他，他心里一震。她突然停下，指着隔壁摊的男人：你咋还不给孩子做饭呢!他松了口气，转身走了。

她递根烟给隔壁摊男人：刚才不好意思

【 不愿意做你的累赘 不愿意让你带着愧疚过一身 】

六、父亲在洗车, 儿子拿起小石头在车门上划起来. 父亲见此大怒, 拿起扳手就打了下去, 后来儿子被送到医院, 证实手指骨折. 面对父亲, 儿子轻声说道: 爸爸, 手指会好的, 不要担心了. 父亲内心无比自责. 一怒之下, 冲回去要把自己的汽车给砸了. 他看见儿子划的痕迹: 爸爸,我爱你.

【有些事是否在看清之后再做决定更好呢 】

七、草原上有对狮子母子。小狮子问母狮子：“妈，幸福在哪里?”母狮子说：“幸福就在你的尾巴上。”于是小狮子不断追着尾巴跑，但始终咬不到。母狮子笑道：“傻瓜!幸福不是这样得到的!只要你昂首向前走，幸福就会一直跟随着你!”。

【 刻意的追寻 不如勇敢的往前走 成功又有多远呢 】

八、有一个盲了的女孩，她一无所有，只剩下她男朋友，男朋友问她：“如果你眼睛好了，能和我结婚吗?”女孩答应了。很快，女孩可以移植新视角膜，也很快回复视力，但她发现她男朋友也是盲的。男朋友向她求婚，女孩拒绝了，最后男孩只说了一句话:“take care of my eyes.”

【 照顾好我的眼睛 】

九、他向她求婚时，只说了三个字：相信我;她为他生下第一个女儿的时候，他对她说：辛苦了;女儿出嫁那天，他搂着她的肩说：还有我;他收到她病危的那天，重复的对她说：我在这;她要走的那一刻，他亲吻她的额头轻声说：你等我。这一生，他没有对他说过一次“我爱你”，但爱，从未离开过。

【 这个世界有不会表白的人 但谁说他们一定缺少爱 】

十、儿子养不起年迈的母亲，决定把她背上山丢下去。傍晚，儿子说要背母亲上山走走，母亲吃力地爬上他的背。他一路都在想爬高点再丢下她，当看到母亲在他背上偷偷往路上洒豆子，他很生气地问：“你洒豆子干什么?”结果母亲的回答让他泪流满面：“傻儿子，我怕你等会儿一个人下山会迷路。”

1.现代哲理幽默笑话小故事 [图]

2.经典幽默哲理故事精选

3.17则幽默经典哲理小故事

4.幽默哲理故事四篇

5.2015幽默人生哲理小故事精选

6.富有哲理的幽默小故事（精编）

7.2015关于幽默哲理小故事（精选）

8.幽默哲理故事十则

9.2015关于人生哲理幽默小故事

The escalating sales of turkey legs inspired a poultry farmer to research and breed a turkey with more legs and thus, reap more profits for him. It was only after many years that he finally succeeded in breeding one with six legs! The news of his success reached the media and reporters questioned him about the taste of the turkey he had bred. The intellectual whispered with a grave face, "What I wouldnt give to catch it!"

火鸡腿的热销让一名家禽饲养员想研究培育出一个有更多条腿的火鸡品种，从而可以获利更多。许多年后，他终于成功培育出一只有六条腿的火鸡!他成功的新闻被媒体获悉，到访的记者们询问他这只火鸡的味道如何。这名智者一脸严肃地低声说道：“我倒是想告诉你呢，但是我压根抓不住啊!”

“加油，加油……”这阵阵呐喊声是从哪儿传出来的呢？哦，原来是五年（3）班的同学正在进行激烈的讲故事比赛。

而我心里也痒痒的，急匆匆地报了名，准备一展我的风采。

比赛开始了，选手们都鼓足了劲，心里暗自较量，偷窥一下其他选手准备如何，以此来给自己壮胆儿，平复一下紧张的心情，如果两个眼神撞在一起，只会化作会心一笑。

主持人陈伊上场了，只见他拿起话筒，扯了扯嗓子为大家拉开了比赛的序幕。一号选手林铷铷上场了，她绘声绘色的讲起了自己搜集到的一则小故事，同学们听得很入迷，偶尔几个小声音传出来，也很快消失了。可她好像没什么底气，灰溜溜地回到了座位。此时的我已无暇细细品味了，呆会儿就该我上了。

主持人报到了我的名字，我从容地上了台，可谁又知道这时的我已经全身紧绷到极致了。我有声有色的讲着我找到的朱启南的故事，台下的“评委”——同学们，一声不发，我的心像是揣了只兔子砰砰的跳着。进行着内心的独白。台下响起了热烈的掌声，我慢慢平静下心中的紧张，在掌声的护拥下我结束了故事，回到自己的座位，还沉浸在比赛的氛围中，我急忙问同桌自己表现如何，陈佳慧露出酒窝：“你讲的很有感情，我的听入迷了。”听到这话，我的心稍微松了下来。不过下面的选手还不知道水平如何呢？我悬着心，细细听着他们的故事。

到了最紧张的时刻了，评委们改使出自己的选择权了，前两名同学可是能参加学校里的比赛，我一遍一遍的给自己加油打气，可不能自己给自己认输了喽！因为这次实行的无记名投票，自然少不了督票员、读票员和计票员了，读票员一遍遍的报出评委们的选择，很快我已经占领了十票。照这个势头发展下去，去参加比赛我是八九不离十了，可以想不到的事情发生了，陈伊、吕浩轩马上追平了我，人群沸腾了，顿时加油声、呐喊声炸成了一锅，我心里也打起了小算盘：陈伊是我们班班长，平时人缘挺好的，而吕浩轩是唯一的男选手，班上的男同学肯定都投他。可我又拿什么和人家比呢？关键的时候到了，现在读票员手里还有两票，陈伊、吕浩轩和我比分悬殊，谁拿了两票，就是最后的赢家，吕浩轩的呼声更高了，男同学们集体为吕浩轩加油，这是我默默打响了退堂鼓。奇迹发生了，最后两票居然是我的。我的心中向那雨后彩虹一样惊喜又快乐，尽管很多人对我发出了藐视，可我已经不屑于这些事物了。我呆在座位上，刚才的惊喜已经超出了我所容纳的范围，只能点滴消化，因为陈伊和吕浩轩分数持平，只能明天在对他们两个进行一场加时赛了。

激烈的讲故事比赛结束了，选手有的高兴，有的遗憾，而我也信心慢慢的对校级的比赛发出邀约。

[ 激烈的讲故事比赛作文1000字

作者：罗皓天

今天，是我校第五届“英华好少年杯”。

主持人站在台，宣读经典故事比赛开始。一共有28位选手，他们每一个讲的都是关于《温良恭俭让》的故事。我们个个精神十足，可是有一个故事是让我忘不了的。

那个故事是五（7）班杨云涵讲，她讲的故事的名字叫《三袋米的故事》。她的故事非常感动，我哭了。我的心里想：这个《三袋米的故事》肯定是第一名。没有想到我的猜测是正确的。

我们班的曲姿瑜她讲的是《注视的眼睛》。这个故事告诉我们一个小小的道理是：在人生的漫漫征途中，当你在觊觎什么的时候，记得有一双眼睛在注视着你，在背后，在心灵。

用两节课的时间内，我们年纪的讲故事比赛圆满的结束了。

在一棵大树上，住着一只八哥。它每天都在那儿用非常圆润的歌喉，唱着悦耳的曲子。

初夏的早晨，当八哥正要唱歌的时候，忽然听见了一阵震耳欲聋的嘶叫声，它仔细一看，在那最高的树枝上，贴着一只蝉，它一秒钟也不停地发出“知了——知了——知了——”的叫声，好像喊救命似的。八哥跳到它的旁边，问它：“喂，你一早起来在喊什么呀？”蝉停止了叫喊，看见是八哥，就笑着说：“原来是同行啊，我正在唱歌呀。”八哥问它：“你歌唱什么呢？叫人听起来挺悲哀的，有什么不幸的事发生了么？”蝉回答说：“你的表现力比你的理解力要强，我唱的是关于早晨的歌，那一片美丽的朝霞，使我看了不禁兴奋得要歌唱起来。”八哥点点头，看见蝉又在抖动起翅膀，发出了声音，态度很严肃，它知道要劝蝉停止，是没有希望的，就飞到另外的树上唱歌去了。

中午的时候，八哥回到那棵大树上，它听见那只蝉仍旧在那儿歌唱，那“知了——知了——知了——”的喊声，比早晨更响。八哥还是笑着问它：“现在朝霞早已不见了，你在唱什么呀？”蝉回答说：“太陽晒得我心里发闷，我是在唱热呀。”八哥说：“这倒还差不多，人们只要一听到你的歌，就会觉得更热。”蝉以为这是对它的赞美，就越发起劲地唱起来。八哥只好再飞到别的地方去。

傍晚了，八哥又回来了，那只蝉还是在唱！

八哥说：“现在热气已经没有了。”

蝉说：“我看见了太陽下山的奇景，兴奋极了，所以唱着歌，欢送太陽。”一说完，它又继续着唱，好像怕太陽一走到山的那边，就会听不见它的歌声似的。

八哥说：“你真勤勉。”

蝉说：“我总好像没有唱够似的，我的同行，你要是愿意听，我可以唱一支夜曲——当月亮上升的时候。”

八哥说：“你不觉得辛苦么？”

蝉说：“我是爱歌唱的，只是歌唱着，我才觉得快乐。”

八哥说：“你整天都不停，究竟唱些什么呀？”

蝉说：“我唱了许多歌，天气变化了，唱的歌也就不同了。”

八哥说：“但是，我在早上、中午、傍晚，听你唱的是同一的歌。”

蝉说：“我的心情是不同的，我的歌也是不同的。”

八哥说：“你可能是缺乏表达情绪的必要的训练。”

蝉说：“不，人们说我能在同一的曲子里表达不同的情绪。”

八哥说：“也可能是缺乏天赋的东西，艺术没有天赋是不行的。”

蝉说：“我生来就具备了最好的嗓子，我可以一口气唱很久也不会变调。”

八哥说：“我说句老实话，我一听见你的歌，就觉得厌烦极了，原因就是它没有变化；没有变化，再好的歌也会叫人厌烦的。你的不肯休息，已使我害怕，明天我要搬家了。”

蝉说：“那真是太好了。”说完，它又“知了——知了——知了——”地唱起来了。

这时候，月亮也上升了……