中考作文英语评分标准及评分说明优秀20篇
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4122024安徽省中考作文评分标准解读
全文共 4162 字
+ 加入清单根据初中阶段的写作具体目标:写作时考虑不同的目的和对象,写作要感情真挚,力求表达自己对自然、社会、人生的独特感受和真切体验;多角度地观察生活,发现生活的丰富多彩,捕捉事物的特征,力求有创意地表达;根据表达的中心,选择恰当的表达方式。合理安排内容的先后和详略。条理清楚地表达自己的意思。运用联想和想像,丰富表达的内容;写记叙文,做到内容具体:写简单的说明文,做到明白清楚;写简单的议论文,做到有理有据;根据生活需要,写日常应用文……简单地说,就是会写记叙文、简单的说明文、简单的议论文和一般的应用文;内容具体明确,语言文从字顺;感情真实健康,力求有创意。安徽省中考作文评分基本上涵盖了上述精神。
一、作文评分总体要求
以安徽省2009年中考题“师生之间”为例,对中考作文评分标准具体分析,具有可解读性和可操作性。这个命题作文,它的内容很宽泛,可写的东西很多,有关师生之间的事、物、情,皆可入文。具体评分要求如下:
1、要审清题目。文章要切题,不能写成“我的老师”, 要扣住“之间”来写,是老师和学生之间的双向活动。
2、体裁要分辨清。叙事有起伏,阐述有哲理,写人须有触动人物内心深处,抒情、议论兼而有之。
3、立意要有创新。文题看似平平淡淡,没有精心雕琢,但要写出独特的、与众不同之处。师生老师与学生的界定可以引申、拓展,也可以是广义的。
4、文章有真情实感。写事要具体可感,语言要流畅,有文采,有点睛之笔,行文思路清晰,感情充沛。
二、作文分等分类简述
就阅卷评分标准结合学生实际作文情况,作文大致分为以下几类:
(一)力求创新。力避旧瓶装新酒,有的同学在考场中将师与生进行引申、比喻,文章开头引用《三字经》中的“生不学,师之惰”,接着亮出自己的观点,“生不学”未必是“师之惰”,用“诸葛亮与刘禅”这对师生来佐证。以思辩的眼光去看待师生之间的关系,提倡一种平等、和谐的新型师生关系,这篇文章结构完整、首尾照应、层次清楚、语言流畅,应属一类文(得54分)。
(二)形式新颖。
形式新颖,内容详实、描写具体。比如一位考生列了四个小标题:“酸”、“甜”、“苦”、“辣”,分别写了与老师之间的四件事,也都有师生之间的活动,有师生间真挚的情感,内容具体真实,可成为一篇佳作,属一类中等(得50分)。
(三)误读题意。一位考生将师生之间写成了“教与学”的关系,整篇文章围绕着“师傅领进门,修行在个人”来写。在立意、内容上只能归属为三类下、四类上。(得30分左右)
(四)选材陈旧。在选材方面流于俗套而缺乏真挚的情感。比如很多考生写在我生病时老师不顾羸弱的身体背着我去医院,老师在下雨天送我回家,把伞让给学生,自己却淋透了,生病了等。没有从生活实际中选取典型的、新颖的、感人的事例来表现主题。这样的事例不够典型,情感也抒发的不到位就难以达到感动人的目的。属三类下。(得32分)
(五)切题不紧。中等成绩的考生的作文都更倾向于写老师是如何对待自己的,主要写老师是如何关心我,如何辅导我的学习,这样的文章中老师的行动是主体,其中穿插了学生的感悟与体会,但占的笔墨不多,因为写老师的文字中必然有学生的活动。这样的文章不能说完全切题,也不能说离题,因为它写到了老师对学生的关爱与呵护。属于二类下、三类上。(得38分)
(六)文体单一。绝大多数写成记叙文,显得平铺直叙,没有生动、细致的描写,选择写议论文的很少,即使有所议论,也是空发感慨。基本上分数不会太高。(得25分上下)
三、中考作文评分细则解读
我们通常用语言优美、立意新颖、结构独特、构思精巧、内容充实、感情真实、表达恰当等方面去评判优秀学生的作文。其实,对于绝大多数学生来说,评分标准的制定有所局限性,就安徽省而言,主要从内容和表达两个方面对作文的评分细则简要解析。
(一)内容方面:
新课标所提倡的作文理念,在安徽省的作文命题及评分标准的制定中已得到很好的体现。内容具体、充实的作文也不在少数,考生视野开阔,体现了他们对生活的感悟,做到了我手写我心,出现了一大批关注亲情友情、关注社会自然、关注艺术历史的佳作。如2007年安徽省的“我们的心近了”,有考生写通过感悟李白、李煜和岳飞的诗词与他们的爱国之心;有写通过印度洋海啸与世界人民的心近了,通过中国免除非洲债务,中国人民与非洲人民的心近了……这些选材与立意都是很高的,有部分考生写社会生活的一些小小的细节反映人与人之间的心近了,如写为瓜农提供方便,与辛苦劳作的人心近了;到山区体验生活与农村孩子的心近了,选材立意温暖人心……我感到:出题人与考生的心近了,考生与家庭、学校、社会、自然、历史的心近了。具体得分点有以下几点:
(1)中心明确。有些考生选材虽好,但中心不够明确,如有考生写了三个片断:与同学的心近了,与老师的心近了,与父母的心近了,但各有自己的中心,没有将三个片断统一到一个主题上。还有将“心近了”误当成团结、友爱的同义词,写成了“团结就是力量”、“友爱使人快乐”等主题。
(2)文章切题 。未抓住题眼“近了”,“近了”是一个过程,而这个过程有些考生未作为重点。如有一个考生重点描写了父母与自己的矛盾,而对矛盾解决的过程即“近了”只是一笔带过就总结说“我们的心近了”,作文主次不分明。个别考生干脆将“心近了”写成“心静了”,严重偏题。有的同学字顺文美,读之感人,但读后和材料要求对照,跑题了。
(3)内容充实。少数学生为了出新出奇,另辟蹊径,对“老师”和“学生“的内涵和外延进行了拓展。如有学生把“书本”、“大自然”等比作“老师”,写出自己徜徉其中的经历和感受。有些考生将作文写成议论文或者散文,虽反复点题,但内容不够具体,缺少有力的论据或感人的细节,只是空洞的议论或抒情。如:无视“我们的心”,写成“他们的心近了”。如一个考生创作了一篇小说,笔触细腻地写了两个小女孩由竞争到互相帮助的过程,但用的是第三人称的叙述视角,没有“我们的心近了”之意,很遗憾地与一类作文失之交臂。其实只要将小说中的一个角色换成“我”即可。大部分考生都能围绕中心有话可写,内容也较充实。写作水平较高的学生所写内容都能较好地兼顾“老师”和“学生”两个方面,紧扣中心,表达有技巧,具有一的表现力,演绎出师生之间的情感变化,常令人耳目一新。
(4)感情真实。出现了许多题材雷同的套作。可能是时代变了,考生的作文中有不少写对后妈由排斥到心近的过程。有许多夫妻离婚可以理解,怎么父母离婚了,孩子都是跟着爸爸?后妈个个都那么宽容、忍让?这类作品有些感情不够真实,很难得高分。
(5)立意新颖。作文关键抓住“心近了”来立意,选材涉及到对题目中的 “我们”的具体所指,大多数学生理解为“我与父亲”、“我与母亲”、“我与老师”、“我与同学”、“我与朋友”、“我与后爸”、“我与后妈”等,具体所指的身边人物,当属切题作文;还有把“我们”理解为台湾与祖国大陆,香港、澳门与祖国,时值香港回归祖国十周年之际,属立意有一定的高度;还有理解为中国与世界、中国加入WTO,世界经济一体化;中国与日本、涉及到中日两国由来已久的渊源关系,到当下的中日关系;中国与印度,涉及海啸中中国人民的友好援助。这些都充分体现了学生对时事的关注,对焦点问题的思考,眼界相当开阔,立意也很深刻。
除以上几方面以外,还有就是我与书,我与语文,我与古代名家,像李白、杜甫、陶渊明、李煜等等,写得是大气磅礴,文采飞扬,充分显示了学生深厚的文学底蕴,这些当属一类作文中的上品。
(二)表达方面
(1)表达方式运用得好。多数考生表达方式运用的合理,但也有一些考生处理不好。如:出现了一些结构不够完整,表达方式单一,甚至不知所云的作品,如一些考生通篇记叙自己与父母关系“近了”的事实,没有动人的细节描写,语言平淡无味,缺少感染力,缺少个性;从表达角度来看,大多数学生还是以大量口语化的语言出现在卷面,缺乏书面语,缺少语文的文学气息。
(2)结构完整,条理清楚。如:一位考生的考场作文,全文的结构如下:师生之间是加减乘除。一:师生之间是+,老师+学生=家;二:师生之间是-,减去烦恼;三:师生之间是×,师生相乘,走向成功;四:师生之间是÷,除去陋习,让学生改邪归正。总结:加减乘除都是爱。
(3)语句流畅、通顺。语言以朴实真挚风格为主,有不少语言流畅、文采飞扬的佳作。如:有一位考生写中日关系近了,远溯到唐代用鉴真六次东渡和晁衡留居长安证明两国一衣带水的亲密,又提到近代日本对中国的侵略,日本右翼分子的猖狂,中国一部分人民身受伤害后的仇日情绪表现“远”了,然后用两国民间社团友好往来,温总理“融冰之旅”表现两国人民相互了解和对和平友好的向往以及希望世界和平的主题。行文结构严谨,通篇语言流畅,美妙的比喻和一气呵成的排比层出不穷,且恰到好处。最后以“心近了,心静了,心惊了,心敬了,心近了”结束全篇,耐人寻味。
有少数学生引用古诗文名句,巧用一些修辞造句,驾驶语言的能力相当强。 如: 开篇: 蒲公英因长风飞向远方,小树苗因甘霖获得滋长,学生因老师而成材。结尾:冰寒于水而出于水,青胜于蓝而出于蓝。纵观整体来说,基本上做到了语句通顺,表述清楚。一部分考生通篇议论抒情、空喊口号,令人乏味;还有个别考生掉书袋,几乎每一句都要引用古诗句,没有自己的语言和感悟可言。
(三)字数的要求。安徽省及芜湖市均有明确的规定:考虑到内容的充实,文章不要少于500字。字数不足500字,每少50字酌情扣一分。但是,一篇文章写的字数较少分量自然很轻。其实,400字、500字的作文扣分不过2分,可再少就不仅仅是字数的问题了。从考场作文实际看,600-700字的作文很多,分数上也偏向这些文章。
(四)、卷面书写。试卷最后一项得分栏就是卷面得分,共5分。根据是书写干净与否;有无涂抹和大面积改动;字体端正、匀称、工整与否。卷面整洁,书写、标点、格式正确等一般给4—5分,最少2—3分。从得分看,字体有形、书写清楚的文章得分较高,好作文卷面分也很高,是相辅相成的。
《语文课程标准》的总目标中,对学生写作能力有如下概括:能具体明确、文从字顺地表达自己的意思,能根据日常生活需要,运用常见的表达方式写作。其实,作文评分标准只是参考,最主要的是鼓励学生写真事、抒真情,写作的过程也是一个教育学生做人的过程。
更多相似作文
篇1:学会放松自己中考英语作文
全文共 901 字
+ 加入清单中招考试即将到来,许多学生感到压力很大,为此很烦恼。你校的校刊特意进行了课后放松方式的调查。请你以”Learn to relax yourself “为题写一篇80词左右的短文。要点提示:
1)学生压力大及其表现
2)学会放松很重要
3)常见的放松方式
4)最适合的自我放松方式
5)我的建议
Learn to relax yourself
Now many students of Grade 9 are under too much pressure. They always feel too tired to listen to the teachers carefully in class.
It’s important for students to relax. Only in this way can they study well and be healthy. Here are some different ways to relax themselves. For example, they can try to have enough sleep,or they can listen to their favourite music after class. They can also read some books or do some sports. For me, I often hang out with my friends.
While you are studying, don’t forget to relax. You will study better after a good rest.
参考译文
学会放松自己
现在许多9年级的学生压力太大。上课时他们总是觉得太累了以至于不能认真听老师讲课。
对学生来说放松是很重要的。只有这样他们才能学习健康。这里有一些不同的方法来放松自己。例如,他们可以尝试有足够的睡眠,或者他们可以听他们喜欢的音乐课后。他们也可以读一些书或做一些运动。对我来说,我经常和朋友们出去玩。
当你在学习的时候,不要忘记放松。好好休息后你会学得更好。
篇2:2024中考英语作文预测:myfuture
全文共 873 字
+ 加入清单I think much about my future that it’s good. First of all, I must have a healthy body so that I can work or do anything. I strongly support that saying that the body is the root of the revolution. Besides, I think I will have a harmonious family with my wife and children. I am the support of my family. I must work hard for them, so a good job is necessary. I want to be an engineer that earns a lot. And I will support my parents and my wife’s. From this point, a good job is extremely important. However, I hope I still have some free time for leisure, like traveling or do something I like. In short, I want a peace but rich future with my families.
我认为对我的未来很好。首先,我必须有一个健康的身体,这样我就可以工作或做任何事。我强烈支持说身体是革命的根源。除此之外,我认为我将有一个和谐的家庭和我的妻子和孩子。我家人给我的支持。我必须努力工作,所以一份好的工作是必要的。我想成为一名工程师,收入很多,我将支持我的父母和我妻子的。从这一点上,一个好工作是非常重要的。然而,我希望我仍然有一些自由的时间来休闲,喜欢旅游或做一些我喜欢的事情。简而言之,我希望有一个和平但丰富的未来和我的家庭。
篇3:2024中考英语写作素材:名言警句类
全文共 1462 字
+ 加入清单以下是小编整理的2015中考英语写作素材:名言警句类,希望能帮的到您。
01. Practice makes perfect.
熟能生巧.
02. Time is money.
时间就是金钱
03. Easier said than done.
说来容易做来难
04. Where there is a will, there is a way.
有志者事竟成.
05. Look before you leap.
三思而后行.
06. Knowledge is power.
知识就是力量
07. God helps those who help themselves.
自助者天助.
08. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
心之所愿,无事不成
09. It’s never too old to learn.
活到老,学到老
10. No pains, no gains.
不劳无获
11. Once in a blue moon.
千载难逢
12. To make the impossible possible.
将不可能变为可能
13. Failure is the mother of success.
失败乃成功之母
14. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
患难见真情
15. First things first.
先做重要之事
16. Great minds think alike.
英雄所见略同
17. Rome was not built in a day.
成功并非一朝一夕的事
18. All that glitters is not gold.
闪光的未必都是金子
19. East or west, home is the best.
金窝银窝不如自家草窝
20. Time and tide wait for no man.
时间不等人
21. There is but a secret to success—Never give up!
成功只有一个秘诀—永不放弃!
22. Where there is life, there is hope.
有生命必有希望
23. Beauty will buy no beef.
漂亮不能当饭吃
24. Better late than never.
迟做总比不做好
25. Every little helps.
点滴都有用;积少成多
26. The shortest answer is doing.
最简短的回答就是行动
27. No news is good news.
没消息,就是好消息
28. Well begun, half done.
好的开始是成功的一半
29. All for one, one for all.
人人为我,我为人人
30. One false step will make a great difference.
失之毫厘,谬以千里
31. Facts speak louder than words.
事实胜于雄辩
32. As the tree, so the fruit.
种瓜得瓜,种豆得豆
33. To live is to learn; to learn is to better live.
活着为了学习,学习为了更好的活着
34. Like and like make good friends.
趣味相投
35. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
只学习不玩耍聪明的孩子也变傻.
篇4:2024年中考英语作文写作技巧解读
全文共 3825 字
+ 加入清单一、写作决窍
总体把握,要点齐全;人称时态,逻辑清楚;
关键词汇,动词第一;组词成句,结构完整;
组句成文,连词增色;此路不通,绕道迂回;
字迹工整,留好印象;从句适量,高分有望。
二、写作步骤
1.认真审题。审题包括要点、格式、词数以及此篇文章要传递给读者什么样的信息,告诫读者什么(即写作目的)。
2.确定文体和时态。确定文体后,根据不同文体的特点和要求进行组织材料;同时确定出该篇文章的总时态与时态的变化。
3.写完要点,但不随意发挥。
4.先草稿,后抄写。
三、作文案例
[2004年全国中学生英语能力竞赛初赛初三组] (14分)
Choose one of your hobbies and write an article for the school magazine about it. Tell the magazine readers.
·What exactly your hobby is;
·When and how you became interested in this hobby;
·Why you enjoy your hobby;
·About your hopes and plans for the future.
写作要求:
1.根据所提供的内容,适当拓展想象空间,灵活地将提供的信息体现在文章中。
2.条理清楚,语句通顺,书写清晰、规范。
3.词数60-80.
[学生解答A]
My hobby is read books①.When I was seven years old.I became interested in reading books.I like needing books because there are a lot of useful things in books.I can learn a lot of knowledge from books. Books also② can teach me how to be a good person.Books even can solve many problems for me.I will read more good books to improve myself.
①改为reading books,动词作表语时应该用动名词。
②also的位置应放在can之后。
[点评]:档次9-11分。
①要点不全,漏掉最后一个要点。
②句子基本无误,能正确传递信息给读者但文章不流畅,句子与句子之间过渡不自然,给读者感觉在回答上述问题。
③有少量错误。
[学生解答B]
My hobby is reading.Reading books is very enjoyable.When I was young ,my mother used to tell me a story before.I went to bed every night.The stories were so interesting that I always felt they weren’t enough.So I began to read books by myself.Little by little I became interested in reading.I can learn much knowledge and many interesting things all over the world.When I read books,I can enjoy the beautiful sentences.At the same time I can improvemy writing.I want to be a writer in the future,so I must study hard and read more books so that my dream can come true.
①开门见山、点题。
②真情流露,理由充分。
③文中带圈的连词使用得恰当,使文章过渡自然、
④巧妙使用句型以表决心。
[点评]:档次13-14分。
①清楚表达写作目的,要点齐全。
②语言表达灵活多样,字里行间流露出真情实感,文章有感染力。
③恰当使用连词和从句,语言流畅,且无错误,是一篇高质量的作文。
[高分突破]
①文体:记叙文。
②要点:what → when →how → why → hope and plan for the future.
③时态:一般现在时,一般过去时,一般将来时的自然变化。
内容具有开放性,但它也是“控制性”的写作试题,因此不能随意发挥,要善于抓信息,写完要点。选用这两篇学生真实习作,一是因为他们选材相同,二是因为他们都是英语成绩优秀的同学。同学B灵活使用连词so…that,so,little by little,when,so that等,恰到好处地使用新句型和短语used to,became interested in,come true……等,使内容丰富,读起来优美流畅。其实这些表达同学A也会,只是缺乏技术加工。通过这两篇作文点评,同学们便能悟出其中的奥妙。
四、培养途径
1.根据老师布置的写作内容,独立完成一篇写作。
2.与同伴合作,交流自己的写作,通过交流找出各自作文中写得好的地方和优美的句子,合作创造一篇新的文章,供大家欣赏。
3.找老师点评,请求老师指点,尤其是怎样润色。
4.自己纠错,写下反思。
五、备考演练
A
缙云山是重庆著名的游览胜地,每天有大量的游客。请你根据下面提供的信息写一篇报道,说明现在的游客在环境保护方面的变化。
写作要求:
1.词数在100左右。
2.条理清楚,语句通顺。
3.开头已写好,但不计入总词数。
Jinyun Mountain is a famous place of interest …
B
阅读电视广告词:“If we don’t save water,the last drop of water will be a tear-drop.”根据提示,写一篇60-80词的短文。
提示:
1.生活离不开水。
2.可饮用水在减少。
3.水污染严重。
4.应保护水源,再利用水。
思路点拨与参考答案
A. [思路点拨]:
①文体:记叙文。
②时态:一般过去时态,一般现在时态。采用正反对比的写作手法,增加感染力。
③写作目的:告诉读者保护环境的重要性。
Jinyun Mountain is a famous place of interest.Every day a lot of tourists come here to enjoy its beauty. But a few years ago,some of them paid no attention to protecting theenvironment.They threw their rubbish,such as plastic bags,fruit skins and waste paper on the ground.Sometimes they broke trees,picked flowers and killed birds. Some even made fires in the woods to cook food.How dangerous it was.Luckily,great changes have taken place here.Tourists are used to putting their rubbish into dustbins,and they are doing their best to protect the birds and plants as well.They bring their own meals instead of cooking to preventstarting a forest fire in the mountains.All these changes make us very happy.
B. [思路点拨]:
①夹叙夹议(说明现状,谈谈感想)。
②时态:一般现在时态。
③广告词的含义——水很重要,应保护和再利用(写作意图)。
Water is very important to humans.We can’t live without water.The water we can drink is falling.But some people don’t seem to care about it.They waste a lot of water.They pour dirtywater into rivers and lakes.Water pollution is getting more and more serious.So we must do something to stop the pollution.We not only protect the water but also find ways to reuse it.If we don’t do this,the last drop of water will be a tear-drop.
篇5:节约用水中考英语作文
全文共 732 字
+ 加入清单题目:请以“saving water”为题,并根据以下提示写一篇不少于60单词的作文。
saving water
1 what do we use water for?
2 why water is very important in our daily life?
3 how do we save water?
参考范文
as we all know, water is essential in our daily life. we drink water every day, we use water to wash things and cook food, we also use water to make machines. people cant live without water.
我们都知道水对于日常生活的重要性。我们每天喝水,用水洗东西和烹制食物,我们还用水来制造机器。离开水,人类就无法存活。
though about 75% of the earth is covered with water, only 3% of it is fresh water. so we must save water by having a shower instead of a bath. we can save water by fixing dripping taps immediately and we can also save water by not washing under a running tap.
虽然地球75%都被水覆盖,但其中只有3%是淡水。所以我们应该用淋浴代替泡澡来节约水,同时及时修好滴水的水龙头,并且不要开着水龙头洗东西。
篇6:剑桥雅思作文评分标准
全文共 5474 字
+ 加入清单雅思作文
Task Response
Coherence and Cohesion
Lexical Resource
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
雅思的4Gates就是其评分标准,分别为“内容”,“逻辑结构”,“语法的准确使用和范围”以及“词汇量”四个标准。
实际案例
根据下面的全面修改案例,读者可以清楚的看到一篇5.5分的雅思范文是如何在修改之前蜕变成为高分作品。
Cambridge 8 – Test 2
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?
原文:
Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
Yes, the technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people use to wait and try to find easy way to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In past there was no quick technology to contact or to establish any communication between one person to another person. The drawback with past communication systems was that it were very slow and were time taking process such as telegrams, letter etc. People used to afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their love ones due to insecure medium of communication. When it comes to professional level, the privacy and accuracy should be maintain but, to that time there were no secure communications.
Now the things have changed around, people from far distance contact their loves one in an easy and quick ways which improves the interaction level between two person. Quality the level of the interaction between people to people, has improved because the people are equipped with high-tec technology which enhances the communication. There are many many medium which are available now such as internet, called cards etc.
The technology has provided the mobility faster which help people to talk or to interact at any time anywhere in the world.
People can contact their friend or relatives any time they want. It has become so easier and feriendly to be in touch with your feriends, relatives even with the unknown people.
原文翻译:
今天,由于科技的发展人们相互交流的方式也发生了改变。
是的。技术改善了人们的交流方式。以前人们总是期待找到方便的方法联系居住在异地的亲朋好友。以前没有高效的技术帮助人们沟通交流。以往的通讯系统的问题是速度慢,费时间,比如:电报和信件等。在过去,人们不敢给爱人写一些私密的事情因为担心通信不够安全。专业的通信技术应该是安全的、准确的,但是在当时根本没有安全的通信可言。
现在,这些事情已经改变了,住在远处的人们利用一种高效的方式联系他们的爱人。这些方式改善了人们之间的交流方式。因为人们使用了改善交流的高科技,所以他们交流的方式已经得到改善。现在有了很多这类媒体,比如:国际互联网、语音卡等。
这些技术提供了更快的移动性,帮助人们在任何时间、世界上的任何地方与他人沟通。
现在人们能够在任何时间联系亲朋好友。和朋友、家人以及陌生人的沟通变得更容易了。
(注:上述的习作存在语法错误和表达错误,因此对应的翻译也有一定出入。)
Sample Answer:
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score. Here is the examiner’s comment:
这是一位考生写的5.5分作文。下面是考官的评语。
The topic introduction has been copied from the task and is deducted from the word count. This leaves the answer underlength at 236 words, so the candidate loses marks for this.
文章的开篇是从标题中抄来的,所以不能算字数。剩下的只有236个字,考生因此失分。
This answer addresses both questions, but the first is not well covered in terms of how actual relationships have changed. Nevertheless, there is a clear opinion that the effects have been positive and relationships have improved, with some relevant ideas to support this. There is a general progression to the argument, with some effective use of time markers and linkers. There is also some repetition, however. Paragraphing is not always logical, and ideas are not always well linked. A range of vocabulary that is relevant to the topic is used, including some precise and natural expressions. There are quite a lot of mistakes in word form, word choice or spelling, but these do not usually reduce understanding. A variety of sentence type is used, but not always accurately. Errors in grammar and punctuation are distracting at times, but only rarely cause problems for the reader.
修改后:
Nowadays,.(It is true that technology has shifted people’s communicative ways. 利用It is true that的句式突出后面的事件;Change和shift是同义词替换;the way people interact和communicative way是同义词替换。这样的改变可以避免引用标题中的原词。)
(拒绝非正式的使用方法。)The technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people used(前后时态必须一致。)to wait and try to find easy ways(名词单复数)to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In the past, there was no (词汇使用不当,应该改成effective)technology to contact others or to establish any communication between two people. And(重要的连接词,表示本句和上一句共同解释为什么“人们一直在期待找到更有效的通讯方式。”)the drawback ofthe past communication systems was that they (指代不清,这里指代的是communication systems)were too (表示“太”。)slow and were time-consuming (表示“费时”), including (这是应该使用分词形式,表示对主句的communication ways的具体描述。)the telegrams, the letter etc. Not only that,(这里需要连接词)people used to be afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their loved ones because of (because of 强调“外部原因”;due to 强调“根据”)information security (根据上下文理解,此处应该表达的是“信息安全”)of communication. (They worried their letters might be stolen or read by some strangers.这里可以继续描述人们的担心。)
However,(上文主要讨论过去的情况,而接下来将讨论现在的改变)now the things have changed around.(必须避免使用“,”连接两个句子。正确的处理方法是,要么采用断句的方法,要么添加连词。)People in a long distance contact their lovesd one in (effective and efficient) ways, which improve(主谓一致,which代替ways。)the interaction level between two persons. Quality (用词重复)of the interaction between people and people(主谓之间不能添加“,”。)has been improved(这里使用被动是因为沟通质量的提升是因为技术的发展。)because they are equipped with high-techdevices which enhances their communication. There are many(重复)mediummediaavailable such as internet, called cards etc.So the technology has provided better mobility , which help people to talk or keep in touch with each other at any time anywhere in the world.(不应该单独成段,应该和上一段结合在一起。)(本句应该被删除,因为没有提出任何新的观点,并且与上文的句子非常重复。)
篇7:中考英语-作文范文:说出你的烦恼
全文共 344 字
+ 加入清单你们班上周进行了一次“说出你的烦恼”的调查活动,请你根据下面信息用英语写一篇短问。词数80左右。(开头已给出,不计入总词数)
20% 活动少,体质差;50%作业多,学业压力大;30% 父母要求严,相互沟通少;20%---twenty percent of the …
活动少---don’t often do sport;体质差---not health, be weak in health;作业多---have too much homework;学业压力大---feel stressed too much; under too much pressure;父母要求严--- be strict with sb.;相互沟通少--- don’t often talk with sb. ;
篇8:2024中考英语写作指导:核心句型
全文共 2842 字
+ 加入清单导语:写英语作文是有规律可循的,你记住了一些英语句型,就可以直接套用。下面是yjbys作文网小编为您收集整理的资料,希望对您有所帮助。
1.welcometosp欢迎到某地
Eg.WelcometoChina。
2.What’sthematterwithsb./sth?
出什么毛病了?
Eg.What’sthematterwithyourwatch?
3.bedifferentfrom与---不同
Eg.TheweatherinBeijingisdifferentfromthatofNanjing。
4.bethesameas与……相同
Eg.Histrousersarethesameasmine。
5.befriendlytosb。对某人友好
Eg.Mr.Wangisveryfriendlytous。
6.wanttodosth。想做某事
Eg.Iwanttogotoschool。
7.wantsb.todosth。想让某人做某事
Eg.Iwantmysontogotoschool。
8.whattodo做什么
Eg.Wedon’tknowwhattodonext。
9.letsb.dosth。让某人做某事
Eg.Lethimentertheroom。
10.letsb.notdosth。让某人不做某人
Eg.Lethimnotstandintherain。
11.whydon’tyoudosth?
怎么不做某事呢?=
Eg.Whydon’tyouplayfootballwithus?
12.whynotdosth.?怎么不做某事呢?
Eg.Whynotplayfootballwithus?
13.makesb.sth。为某人制造某物=
Eg.Myfathermademeakite。
14.makesthforsb。为某人制造某物
Eg.Myfathermadeakiteforme。
15.What…meanby…?
做……是什么意思?
Eg.Whatdoyoumeanbydoingthat?
16.likedoingsth。喜爱做某事
Eg.Jimlikesswimming。
17.liketodosth。喜爱做某事
Eg.Hedoesn’tliketoswimnow。
18.feellikedoingsth。想做某事
Eg.Ifeellikeeatingbananas。
19.wouldliketodosth。愿意做某事
Eg.Wouldyouliketogorowingwithme?
20.wouldlikesb.todosth。愿意某人做某事
Eg.I’dlikeyoutostaywithmetonight。
21.makesb.dosth。逼使某人做某事
Eg.Hisbrotheroftenmakeshimstayinthesun。
22.letsb.dosth。让某人做某事
Eg.Letmesingasongforyou。
23.havesb.dosth。使某人做某事
Eg.Youshouldn’thavethestudentsworksohard。
24.befarfromsp离某地远
Eg.Hisschoolisfarfromhishome。
25.beneartosp离某地近
Eg.Thehospitalisneartothepostoffice。
26.begoodatsth./doingsth。
擅长某事/做某事
Eg.WearegoodatEnglish。
Theyaregoodatboating。
27.Ittakessb.sometimetodosth。
某人花多少时间做某事
Eg.Ittookmemorethanayeartolearntodrawabeautifulhorseinfiveminutes。
28.sb.spendssometime/money(in)doingsth。
某人花多少时间做某事
Eg.Ispenttwentyyearsinwritingthenovel。
29.sb.spendssometime/moneyonsth。
某事花了某人多少时间/金钱
Eg.Jimspent1000yuanonthebike。
30.sth.costssb.somemoney。
某物花了某人多少钱
Eg.ThebikecostJim1000yuan。
31.sb.payssomemoneyforsth。
某人为某物付了多少钱
Eg.Jimpaid1000yuanforthebike。
32.begin/startwithsth。开始做某事
Eg.Thestartedthemeetingwithasong。
33.begoingtodosth。打算做某事
Eg.WearegoingtostudyinJapan。
34.callAB叫AB
Eg.TheycalledthevillageGumtree。
35.thanksb.forsth./doingsth。
感谢某人做某事
Eg.Thankyouforyourhelp。
Thankyouforhelpingme。
36.What……for?为什么
Eg.WhatdoyoulearnEnglishfor?
37.How/whataboutdoingsth.?
做某事怎么样?
Eg.Howaboutgoingfishing?
38.S+be+the+最高级+of/in短语=
Eg.Lucyisthetallestinherclass。
39.S+be+比较级+thananyother+n。
Eg.Lucyistallerthananyotherstudentinherclass。
40.havetodosth。不得不做某事
Eg.Ihavetogohomenow。
41.hadbetterdosth。最好做某事
Eg.You’dbetterstudyhardatEnglish。
42.hadbetternotdosth。最好别做某事
Eg.You’dbetternotstayup。
43.helpsb.todosth。帮助某人做某事
Eg.LucyoftenhelpsLilytowashherclothes。
44.helpsb.dosth。帮助某人做某事
Eg.HeusuallyhelpsmelearnEnglish。
45.helpsb.withsth。帮助某人做某事
Eg.Isometimeshelpmymotherwiththehousework。
46.makeit+时间把时间定在几点
Eg.Let’smakeit8:30.
47.takesb.tosp带某人到某地
Eg.Mr.WangwilltakeustotheSummerPalacenextSunday。
49.havenothingtodo(withsb)
与某人没有关系
Eg.Thathasnothingtodowithme。
50.主语+don’tthink+从句
认为……不……
Eg.Idon’tthinkitwillraintomorrow。
篇9:以环保为主题的中考英语作文
全文共 733 字
+ 加入清单导语:环境问题是当今的热门话题。它不仅影响我们的健康,它也对我们的未来有很大的影响。下面是yuwenmi小编为大家整理的相关英语作文,欢迎阅读与借鉴,谢谢!
The environmental matter is a hot topic nowadays. Not only does it affect our health, it also has a great impact on our future.
Due to lacking of environmental concepts, peoples health has been greatly affected by air, noise and water pollution. In order to live a better life, we need a cleaner world. We should now be concerned for environment by creating a better future for our next generation.
In conclusion, the environmental matter is an important issue that directly affects very human in the world!
【参考译文】
环境问题是当今的热门话题。它不仅影响我们的健康,它也对我们的未来有很大的影响。
由于环境观念的缺乏,人们的健康受到了空气、噪音和水污染的严重影响。为了过上更好的生活,我们需要一个更清洁的世界。我们现在应该关注环境,为下一代创造更美好的未来。
总之,环境问题是一个直接影响人类的重要问题!
篇10:2024年中考英语作文范例:娱乐活动
全文共 2105 字
+ 加入清单As the social civilization develops at a fast speed, the new century has brought us with an unprecedented variety of recreational activities ranging from traditional outdoor activities such as playing ball games to all kinds of other indoor activities. People can do sports, singing karaoke, go dancing, go to the movies, play video games or online games, or surf the Internet.
随着社会文明的发展速度比较快,新世纪给我们带来了与从传统的户外活动如打球到其他各种室内活动空前的各种娱乐活动。人们可以做运动,唱歌,跳舞唱歌,看电影,玩游戏或在线游戏,或上网冲浪。
On one hand, recreational activities are good to people’s health, both physically and mentally. Sports and dancing can keep people fit. Singing karaoke will bring more excitement and enrich people’s life. Playing video games can satisfy people’s imagination and develop people’s intelligence. Surfing the Internet can bring people plenty of information and knowledge. What’s more, some recreational activities, such as going to the cinema or theatre, playing volleyballs in a team will be inductive to strengthen the affection of the family.
一方面,娱乐活动对人们的健康有益,包括身体上和精神上的。体育和跳舞可以使人健康。唱卡拉OK将带来更多的刺激和丰富人们的生活。玩游戏可以满足人们的想象和开发人的智力。上网能给人们带来的信息和知识丰富。更重要的是,一些娱乐活动,比如去电影院或剧院,在一队打排球将感应加强对家庭的影响。
On the other hand, some recreational activities, such as playing mahjong and poker, might be time-consuming and harmful if people are addicted. Spending too much time and money on these activities will seriously influence people’s normal lives. There are also some on-line games which is great appeal to the young generation. Those who are indulged in the games may waste too much time to study and exercise.
另一方面,一些娱乐活动,如打麻将和扑克,如果人是上瘾的是耗时的和有害的。花太多的时间和金钱在这些活动会严重影响人们的正常生活。也有一些在线游戏的是年轻一代的巨大的吸引力。那些沉迷于游戏可能浪费太多的时间来学习和锻炼。
As far as I am concerned, people should take part in meaningful recreational activities and try to benefit more from recreational activities. Only in this way, can they become more energetic and creative when they work and study. When it comes to those addictive, and less meaningful activities, I think to stay away from them is a wise decision.
在我看来,人们应该参加有意义的休闲活动,试图从娱乐活动更多的利益。只有这样,他们才能变得更有活力和创意时,他们的工作和学习。当谈到那些上瘾的,少的有意义的活动,我想远离他们是一个明智的决定。
篇11:中考英语作文:An Unforgettable Holiday
全文共 490 字
+ 加入清单i am always busy with my lessons. what i have to do everyday is nothing but study.
luckily, last summer my family went to my uncles farm.we enjoyed a really interesting holiday. during the holiday, i didnt have to get up early, nor did i need to finish many exercises.
i rode the horse in the fields. i milked the cows on the farm. to my great joy, my uncle invited me to go fishing. life on the farm is quite different from that at school. i want to go back to spend my summer holiday again.
篇12:中考英语话题作文预测范本
全文共 1293 字
+ 加入清单1、(福建宁德)健康饮食关系到青少年的身心健康成长。请根据以下提供的内容和提示词,以"Healthy Eating"为题写一篇作文.
提示:1.健康饮食的重要性(important, energy); 2.良好的饮食习惯(keep a balanced diet); 3.健康饮食的益处(make…..stong)
Healthy eating is important for us in our daily life. Food can give us energy and help us build up our body. What and how should we eat to be healthier? First, we should have enough clean food each meal. Second, its important to keep a balanced diet. Different kinds of food provide us different nutrition we need every day. Third, we should have a regular meal. In this way, well be strong and healthy, and well do well in our study.
2、根据中英文提示,写出内容完整、意思连贯、符合逻辑的稿件。(字数不少于60词,英文提示词供选用)
有写学生不爱吃学校的午饭,常到校外去吃他们所喜欢吃的食物。但有些食物并不利于他们的身体健康。"英语角"打算针对这个问题展开讨论。请你准备一篇讨论稿,谈谈你的看法和建议。
参考词汇:not like, go out of school, be afraid, be back, more delicious, offer
范文:
We know that some of our students do not like eating lunch at school because the food isnt delicious. So they often go out of school to buy something they like to eat. But Im afraid its bad for their health to eat lunch outside because some of the food they buy isnt healthy enough.
In my opinion, if our schools want more students to be back and enjoy lunch inside, they should make the food more delicious, and also they should offer our students a larger choice of food as well.
篇13:中考英语作文写作技巧
全文共 1257 字
+ 加入清单英语作文是最考察同学们英语功底的一类题型,也是在英语考试中所占分值很大的一类题型。所以在写英语作文的时候要掌握中考英语作文写作技巧才能够在中考的时候写出一篇优秀的英语作文。
初中英语作文分为四等。一等文:13-15分;二等文:9-12分;三等文:5-8分;四等文:0-4分。教给大家十个字,搞定初中英语写作,帮你拿到一等文。
要点+结构+逻辑+语法+亮点
要点:实际上中考英语写作就等于两个字,翻译!因为中考英语写作一般会给出几个要点,要求必须在文章中有所体现。文章写的再好,只要缺少要点就会扣分。所以要点,也就是文章的第二段内容,要做到全,围绕中心。
结构:中考最流行的结构就是三段式,深受各地区中考英语写作阅卷老师的喜爱。为什么尼?因为这种结构十分清晰。“观点——要点——总结”让人一目了然。三段式的第一段:简单明了,开门见山,不超过2句话,如,我们想表达小强很强壮,第一段直接说XQis extremely strong。观点明确,这一句足矣。
第二段:分2-3点说为什么他强壮。1. 每天吃10顿饭,He has ten mealseveryday!详举吃的是什么。2. 每天运动2小时,He does exercise 2 hours a day!详举做了什么运动。
第三段:经过第二段的论证,可以得出结论。但请注意,不能完全照抄第一段,要有升华。也可以提出希望和建议等。如,Howstrong and robust XQ is!I hope to be him one day!
逻辑:这里的逻辑实际指的就是逻辑词。最常用的就是表示递进的,转折的,总结的逻辑词等。递进:除了first,second,third,finally等还可以使用高级点的,如first of all(首先),in addition,whatsmore,moreover(都是另外的意思),in a word,all inall(表示总结的)。转折:but,yet,however等。真正有经验的阅卷老师会很注意这些逻辑连接词,因为这些词体现了这个文章的思路。
语法:其他几点都不是硬性的要求,不那样做不能说是错,只能说是不好,但是语法却是硬性的。如,单词的使用,时态等。
亮点:当我们将前八个字都做得很完美的时候也只能得到一个二等文的上。要想得到一等文,最后两个字,亮点至关重要。大家设想如果我们是阅卷老师。有两篇写人美丽的作文摆在我们面前,都是结构清晰的三段式,要点都很全,都用了一些逻辑词,都没有语法错误,但是A篇只用了beautiful,good-looking,B篇却用到了attractive,charming,catching等,我坚信正常人都会给B篇高分的。这些高级一点的词汇,词组,句型便是我们得到一等文的最有力的绝招。所以,以后写英语作文要养成一般词汇限量用的好习惯。
英语作文依靠的是同学们的语感和平时的积累,但是在面临中考的紧要关头,要想在短时间内提高英语写作水平不是一件容易的事情,这就需要同学们掌握中考英语作文写作技巧。
篇14:热门中考英语作文:拯救地球
全文共 1206 字
+ 加入清单导语:地球妈妈在流泪,我们人类做了太多伤害它的事情,让我们一起来拯救它吧!下面是yuwenmi小编为大家整理的优秀英语作文,欢迎阅读与借鉴,谢谢!
Let’s Do Something to Save Our Environment
It is recently reported that some rivers and lakes have dried up in South China. A lot of fishes died. The bottoms of the rivers and lakes have become grass land. The water is becoming less and less because of the bad weather.
So everyone should do something to save our environment. First, we should save every drop of water, such as turning off the taps after using it and recycling the water. For example, we can water the plants and clean the rest room with our used water. Second, we should save energy, such as less turning on the lights and turning off the lights when we leave;Do more walking, more bicycling and less driving and so on. Third, we should ask our government to control the pollution from the factories.
Let’s act now from everything to save our environment. Don’t let our tears be the last drop of water in the world!
【参考译文】
让我们做些事情来拯救我们的环境
这是最近报道,一些河流和湖泊已经干涸的中国南方地区。许多鱼死了。河流和湖泊的底部变成了草地。由于天气不好,水变得越来越少了。
所以每个人都应该做些事情来拯救我们的环境。首先,我们应该节约每一滴水,如使用后关闭水龙头和回收水。例如,我们可以用我们用过的水给植物浇水和打扫休息室。第二,我们应该节约能源,比如我们离开时少开灯和关灯;多走路,多骑车,少开车等等。第三,我们应该要求政府控制工厂的污染。
让我们从一切行动来拯救我们的环境。不要让我们的眼泪成为世界上最后一滴水!
篇15:中考英语作文:节约用水
全文共 936 字
+ 加入清单As we know,water is very important to man,we cant live without water. The amount of water which is suitable to drink is less and less. But some people dont care about it. They waste a lot of water in their daily life. Even worse,they pour dirty water into rivers. They throw rubbish into rivers,too. Many rivers and lakes are seriously polluted. Something must be done to stop the pollution. And I think its a great shame to waste while millions are in great need of water. I think what we can do is that we have to save every drop of water as possible as we can. For example,we must turn off the tap immediately after we use it. We can use a basin to wash our hands and faces. Its also a good idea to encourage my friends and family members to join me!Only in this way can we live happily. If we dont save water,the last drop of water will be a tear-drop of us. I believe if everyone makes a little effort,we can make a big difference.
篇16:有关交通问题的中考英语作文
全文共 1185 字
+ 加入清单导语:越来越多汽车进入我们的家庭生活,改善了我们的生活,但同时也带来了很多问题,如塞车和车祸,给家庭和社会带来极大的危害。下面是yuwenmi小编为大家整理的英语作文,欢迎阅读与借鉴,谢谢!
请写一篇有关交通安全的短文(80字左右)
内容包含:
(1)遵守交通规则,如走人行道/过斑马线。
(2)别在街道上或马路上玩耍和踢球。
(3)劝父母不能酒后驾车。
你可以适当增加内容,让短文通顺,过渡自然。
参考词汇:sidewalk 人行道、zebra-crossing 斑马线
注:第一段已给出,不计入总数
关于交通问题的中考英语作文
With more and more cars coming into our families, we are happy that it has greatly improved our life. But unluckily, it has also brought many problems, such as heavy traffic and traffic accidents.
Traffic safety is everybodys business. We must obey the rules. For example, we must walk on walk side, when we cross zebra – crossing, stop and look right and left, then go across fast. Dont play football on the road .we can tell our parents not to drink before they drive, not to run through red lights, not to talk and laugh while driving etc.
We can say cars are coming into our life, but only when everybody thinks traffic safety is everybodys business can we be safe driving on roads and walking on sidewalks.
【参考译文】
随着越来越多的汽车走进我们的家庭,我们很高兴它大大改善了我们的生活。但不幸的是,它也带来了许多问题,如交通拥挤和交通事故。
交通安全人人有责。我们必须遵守规定!例如,我们必须走在一边,当我们过斑马线,停下来,看左,右,然后跨越快速。不要在马路上踢足球,我们可以告诉父母开车前不要喝酒,不要闯红灯,开车时不要说话和笑。
我们可以说汽车正在进入我们的生活,但只有当每个人都认为交通安全是每个人的业务,我们可以安全驾驶道路和人行道上行走。
篇17:中考英语-作文范文:节日-母亲
全文共 496 字
+ 加入清单一、假如你叫李华,5月11日母亲节那天 你为母亲做了很多有意义的事情。请你根据表格中所给信息,用英语写一篇日记。
上午 你用零花钱给母亲买了些鲜花,放在花瓶内
下午 你去市场买菜,为全家人做了一顿简单可口的饭菜
完饭后 你送给母亲自己制作的贺卡,并祝她节日快乐;告诉母亲要多注意自己的健康,不要过度劳累;你还保证今后会帮助她做一些家务劳动;母亲感动得留下了眼泪
注意:
1. 词数80—100 个左右
2. 日记的开头和结尾已为你写好,不计入总词数。
3. 日记必须包括所有内容要点,但不要逐句翻译,可以假如适当细节和适当发挥,使其通顺、连贯。
参考词汇:pocket money 零花钱vase 花瓶overwork 过度劳累be moved to tears 感动得流泪
11th May Sunday
Today is Mother’s Day. I love mother so much that I’ve done many things for her.
In the morning, I bought …
….
Today is a special day, warm and meaningful.
篇18:中考英语书面表达专项练习10中考英语作文
全文共 1016 字
+ 加入清单提示:
1 教会如何生活 过分溺爱
2 指出缺点,指明方向 强加兴趣、价值观
3 教会富有爱心 希望值过高
要求:
1、根据内容要点适当增加细节,以使行文通顺连贯;
2、词数110左右;
3、开头已给出,不计入单词总数。
Recently, we have had a discussion in our class about whether parents are our best teachers. Some students……
参考范文:
Recently, we have had a discussion in our class about whether parents are our best teachers. Some students agree to the point because they think parents help to point out their mistakes in their lives. They teach them a lot about how to live a meaningful life. What’s more, parents’ love helps to teach them how to love others. So parents are their most important teachers.
However, not all of us hold the same views. Some think that their parents give them too much love, and they are too eager to pass on their values and interests to them. Moreover, their parents sometimes expect too much of them, which makes them feel their goals too difficult to reach.
In my opinion, parents are our important teachers. But parents should also try to understand their children more and limit the generation gap.
篇19:2024年中考英语作文模板:减肥问题
全文共 836 字
+ 加入清单假设你是《21世纪中学生英语报》“heart to heart”专栏的编辑.下面是你收到的一位中学生的来信.请你根据他来信的内容写一封回信.针对他的问题。
Dear Xiaowei,
Weight problem is quite common among teenagers everywhere. So Idon’t think you have much to worry about. Here are my suggestions. Eating lateat night is OK, but you should to eat more fruit and vegetables, which are goodfor you. Also, when you are free, you’d better do more exercise. Running isgreat. You don’t like running alone, but what about running with your friends?Or you can do some team sports like basketball. I’m sure your friends will bewilling to help you lose weight. I hope you have as much success in losingweight as you have had in your studies. “Believe myself, and I will win.” It’sreally important for us when we meet difficulties. Don’t lose heart; I’m sureyou will succeed one day.
Good luck.
Editor
篇20:中考英语作文指导:发言稿
全文共 660 字
+ 加入清单发言稿要注意以下三点:
1、发言的地点
2、发言的对象
3、发言的内容。
请看例文:
在一次英语班会上,老师请同学们以“Proud of My School”为主题发言。请根据下面所给的提示写一篇发言稿。字数要求在80~100词之间。文中不得出现真实的人名、地名。
提示:
①What does your school look like?
②What fun do you have at school?
③Why do you like your school?
Proud of My School
My school is very big with several tall buildings. There are 2,000 students in my school. We have a big playground with lots of trees around it. There are a lot of flowers everywhere.
We have lots of fun at school. After class we play games and do lots of sports, like a big family. The teachers in my school are as kind to us as our parents. I feel proud of my school because it is one of the best schools in my heart.