英语幽默故事比赛英语作文精选20篇

Sam is a little fish. He lives in the sea. He is very lonely. He wants to have a friend. The friend looks like him. Sam sees an ink fish. The ink fish has eight legs. He doesn’t look like Sam. So Sam goes away.

Sam meets a shark. He wants to say hello to the shark. The shark opens his big mouth. Sam runs away quickly.

Sam is tired and hungry. He wants to have a rest. Then he sees a round fish. She says to him. “Hello! Would you like to be my friend?”

Sam answers: “Of course! But you are round. I am flat.” The round fish days: “But we are both fishes.”

Sam thinks and says, “You are right. Let’s be friends.” They become good friends.

寺庙里新来了一个小沙弥。那天，师父派小沙弥去菜地种菜。山上的土壤贫瘠，这一小块菜地，是师父领着众僧经过好几年才开垦出来的。可是，小沙弥准备播种的时候，发现菜地与盐碱地之间有一尺多宽的空地，看得出来，这空地土壤肥沃，这么空着太浪费了，于是小沙弥自作主张，在这一尺多宽的空地上也种上了青菜。

半个月后，小沙弥发现四周的青菜叶子开始发黄，甚至整棵都蔫了。他慌了神，忙找来了师父，师父说：“把菜地四周边上的青菜拔掉，重新留出一尺的空地。”小沙弥照着做了，经过一段时间，菜地里的青菜重新恢复了生机。

对此，小沙弥疑惑不解，师父意味深长地说：“不被坏事物侵染的最好办法就是划清界限，不管对人，还是对事，都应以一尺为戒。”

听完师父的话，小沙弥顿时如醍醐灌顶……

“丁冬 ……丁冬……”一阵清脆的门铃声吵醒了鲁皮皮，原来是爸爸妈妈和鲁冰冰从外面回来了，鲁皮皮心想：多美的一个梦啊!鲁冰冰拍了拍哥哥的头说：“哥，找到故事比赛的内容了吗?”鲁皮皮眼珠一转，说：“找到了!” 到底是什么呢?告诉大家吧，就是他自己做的美梦讲给大家听。

比赛将近，故事比赛的日子渐渐来临了。终于等到这一天了，气氛十分紧张。

选手们也后台准备着。有些选手干脆带来了一个镜子，自己对着镜子再练练，所谓“临阵磨枪”——不快也光嘛。有些选手见到了许多竞争对手，不屑一顾的瞟了一眼，好象自己现在就是冠军了似的。鲁皮皮坐在一边，想着把自己的梦再改得精彩一点。鲁冰冰心怦怦直跳，心里只有几丝多余的担心：万一我失败了怎么办?老师会怪我吗?

……“下面有请天才小学五年级的鲁冰冰同学为我们大家讲她为我们带来的故事。”鲁冰冰看了哥哥一眼，鲁皮皮向妹妹做了一个胜利的手势，然后说：“必胜!”鲁冰冰转身走向了舞台的中心……在台上，鲁冰冰听到了自己的心跳声，也许由于紧张的缘故，平时口齿伶俐的她，说话时声音有点颤抖。终于，故事接近了结尾“……王子和公主经过了种种磨难终于过上了幸福的生活。”走到台后，“吁——，总算完了! ”轮到鲁皮皮上场了，鲁冰冰说了句：“哥，加油!”

鲁皮皮一副轻松自在的样子，叽里呱啦的讲着，他仿佛不是在比赛，而是在讲一个美丽的故事，他的表情丰富多采，一会高兴，一会皱眉，身体也十分协调，时而蹲下，时而站起。时台下的观众也仿佛身临其境，故事讲完了，观众还一犹未尽呢!场下顿时爆发出雷鸣般的掌声，许久才平息下来。

终于，激动人心的时刻到了，宣布成绩了，主持人看了鲁皮皮一眼。总之，鲁皮皮回家时，怀里抱着一个大奖杯呢!

Snow-white

Once there was a Queen. She was sitting at the window. There was snow outside in the garden-snow on the hill and in the lane, snow on the hunts and on the trees: all things were white with snow.

The Queen was making a coat for a little child. She said, "I want my child to be white as this cloth, white as the snow. And I shall call her Snow-white."

Some days after that the Queen had a child. The child was white as snow. The Queen called her Snow-white.

But the Queen was very ill, and after some days she died. Snow-white lived, and was a very happy and beautiful child.

One year after that, the King married another Queen. The new Queen was very beautiful; but she was not a good woman.

A wizard had given this Queen a glass. The glass could speak. It was on the wall in the Queens room. Every day the queen looked in the glass to see how beautiful she was. As she looked in the glass, she asked: "Tell me, glass upon the wall, who is most beautiful of all?" And the glass spoke and said: "The Queen is most beautiful of all."

Year went by. Snow-white grew up and became a little girl. every day the Queen looked in the glass and said, "Tell me, glass upon the wall, who is most beautiful of all?" And the glass said, "Snow-white is most beautiful of all."

When the Queen heard this, she was very angry. She said, "Snow-white is not more beautiful than I am. There is no one who is more beautiful than I am."

Then the Queen sat on her bed and cried.

After one hour the Queen went out of her room. She called one of the servants, and said, "Take Snow-white into the forest and kill her."

The servant took Snow-white to the forest, but he did not kill her, because she was so beautiful and so good. He said, "I shall not kill you; but do not go to the Kings house, because the Queen is angry and she will see you. If the Queen sees you, she will make some other man kill you. Wait here in the forest; some friends will help you." Then he went away.

Poor Snow-white sat at the foot of a tree and cried. Then she saw that night was coming. She said, "I will not cry. I will find some house where I can sleep tonight. I cannot wait here: the bears will eat me."

She went far into the forest. Then she saw a little hut. She opened the door of the hut, and went in. In the hut she saw seven little beds. There was a table, and on the table there were seven little loaves and seven little glasses. She ate one of the loaves. Then she said, "I want some water to drink." So she drank some water out of one of the glasses. Then she fell asleep on one of the seven little beds.

The hut was the home of seven Little Men. When it was night, the seven Little Men came to the hut. Each Little Man had a big beard, and a little blue coat. Each Little Man came into the hut, and took his little lamp. Then each Little Man sat down, and ate his little loaf, and drank his little glass of water.

But one Little Man said, "Someone has eaten my little loaf." And another Little Man said, "Someone has drunk my little glass of water." Then the seven Little Men went to bed, but one Little Man said, "Someone is sleeping on my little bed." All the seven Little Men came to look at Snow-white as she slept on the Little Mens bed. They said, "She is very beautiful."

Snow-white awoke, and saw the seven Little Men with their big beards standing near her bed. She was afraid. The Little men said, "Do not be afraid. We are your friends. Tell us how you came here." Snow-white said, "I will tell you." Then she told them her story.

They said, "Do not be afraid. Live here with us. But see that the door shut when we are not in the house with you. Do not go out. If you go out, the bad Queen will find you. Then she will know that you are not dead, and will tell someone to kill you." So Snow-white lived in the hut with the seven Little Men.

After some days Snow-white went into the garden. One of the Queens servants was going through the forest, and he saw her. He went and told the Queen, "Snow-white is in a hut in the forest." The Queen was very angry when she heard that Snow-white was not dead.

The Queen took an apple. She made a hole in the red side of the apple, and put some powder into the hole. Then she put on old clothes and went to the hut. She called, "Is any one there?" Snow-white opened the door, and came out to her. The Queen said, "I have some pretty apples. Eat one of my pretty apples." Snow-white took the apple and said, "Is it good?" The Queen said, "See, I will eat this white side of the apple; you eat the red side. Then you will know that it is good."

Snow-white ate the red side of the apple. When the powder was in her mouth, she fell down dead. The Queen went back to her house. She went into her room. she looked into the glass and said, "Tell me, glass upon the wall, who is most beautiful of all?" The glass said, "The Queen is most beautiful of all." Then the Queen know that Snow-white was dead.

The Little Men came back to the hut. When they saw that Snow-white was dead, the poor Little Men cried. Then they put Snow-white in a box made of glass. They took the glass box to a hill and put it there, and said, "Everyone who goes by will see how beautiful she was." Then each Little Man put one white flower on the box, and they went away.

Just as they were going away, a Prince came by. He saw the glass box and said, "What is that?" Then he saw Snow-white in the box. He said, "She was very beautiful: but do not put her there. There is a hall in the garden of my fathers house. It is all made of white stone. We will take the glass box and put it in the hall of beautiful white stone."

The Little Men said, "Take her." Then the Prince told his servants to take up the box. They took up the box. Just then one of the servants fell down. The box fell, and Snow-white fell with the box. The bit of apple fell out of her mouth: she awoke, and sat up, and said, "Where am I?"

The Prince said, "You are with me. I never saw anyone as beautiful as you. Come with me and be my Queen."

The Prince married Snow-white, and she became his Queen.

A man went and told this to the bad Queen. When she heard it she was so angry that she fell down dead.

Snow-white lived and was very happy ever after. And the Little Men came to see her every year.

白雪公主

从前，有一个王后，她坐在窗户旁。窗外的花园里积满了雪，山上是雪，小路上是雪，树上和屋顶上也积着雪，万物一片白茫茫。她手中拿着些布和一枚针，她手中的不就像雪一样洁白。王后正在为小孩做一件上衣，她说：“我想我的孩子能够像这布一样白，想雪一样白，我要叫她白雪公主。”

几天之后，王后生了个小孩，这个孩子白得像雪一样，王后给她取名为“白雪公主”。但是，王后得了重病，几天以后就去世了。白雪公主活了下来，她是一个十分幸福和美丽的孩子。

王后去世一年以后，国王又娶了一位王后。新王后十分漂亮，但是，她不是一个善良的女人。一个巫师给了新王后一面镜子，这面镜子会说话，它挂在王后房间的墙上，每天王后照着镜子，欣赏自己多么漂亮。当她照镜子的时候，她问：“告诉我，墙上的魔镜，谁是世界上最漂亮的人？”于是魔镜开口说道：“王后是世界上最漂亮的。”

过了数年，白雪公主长成大人了。当白雪公主是一个年轻姑娘时，有一天，王后照着镜子说：“告诉我，墙上的魔镜，谁是世界上最漂亮的？”魔镜说：“白雪公主是世界上最漂亮的。”

当王后听到这些话时，非常恼怒，她说：“白雪公主没有我漂亮，没有一个人比我更漂亮。”然后，王后坐在床上哭了。一小时后，王后从她的房间走出来，她叫来一个仆人说：“把白雪公主带到森林中杀掉。”

仆人带着白雪公主到了森林，但他没有杀死她，因为她太美丽太善良了。他说：“我不会杀死你的，但是，你不能回王宫，因为，王后很生气，她会看到你的。如果王后发现你，她会让别人杀死你的。你就呆在森林里，会有朋友来帮助你的。”然后，他走了。

可怜的白雪公主坐在一棵树底下哭了，这时，她看到天快黑了，她说：“我不哭了，我要找所房子今晚好睡觉，我不能呆在这儿了，熊会吃了我的。”她往森林深处走去，这时，她发现了一座小屋，她打开小屋的门，走了进去。在小屋里，她看到七张小床，还有一张桌子，桌子上有七块小面包和七个小杯子。她吃了其中一块面包，然后说：“我想喝点水。”于是，她又喝了一个杯子中的一些水。之后，她躺在一张小床上睡着了。

这座小屋是七个小矮人的家。当天黑下来的时候，七个小矮人回到小屋。每个小矮人都留着一副大胡子，穿一件小蓝上衣。小矮人进了小屋，每个人都点上他们的小灯，然后，小矮人都坐下，开始吃面包，喝小杯里的水。

但是，一个小矮人说：“有人把我小面包吃了。”另一个小矮人说：“有人把我的小杯子里的水喝了。”然后，七个小矮人去睡觉。可是一个小矮人说：“有人正睡在我的小床上。”七个小矮人都过来看睡在小矮人床上的白雪公主。他们说：“她真漂亮。”

白雪公主醒了，发现七个留着大胡子的小矮人正站在她床旁，她很害怕。小矮人们说：“别害怕，我们是你的好朋友，告诉我们你是怎么来这儿的。”白雪公主说：“我告诉你们。”接着她就给他们讲述了自己的经历。他们说：“不要害怕。就在这儿和我们住在一起，但是，我们不在家的时候，你一定要关上门，千万别出去。如果你出去了，坏王后会发现你，这样，她知道你没有死，会让人来杀死你。”于是，白雪公主和七个小矮人在这座小屋里生活着。

几天以后，白雪公主去了一趟花园。王后的一个仆人正经过这片森林，他发现了阿。他回去告诉了王后：“白雪公主在森林的一座小屋里。”王后听说白雪公主没有死，十分恼火。

王后拿来一个苹果，她在苹果红的一边挖了一个洞，把一些毒的粉末放在这个洞里。然后，她穿上一身旧衣服，去了小屋。她喊：“屋里有人吗？”白雪公主打开门，出来见她。王后说：“我有一些漂亮的苹果，吃一个尝尝吧？”白雪公主拿着苹果说：“这好吃吗？”王后说：“瞧，我吃苹果白的一半，你吃红的一半，你会知道它味道不错。”白雪公主吃了苹果红的一半，当粉末进入她嘴里时，她倒下去死了。

王后回到家，进了自己的房间，对着镜子说：“告诉我，墙上的魔镜，谁是世界上最漂亮的。”魔镜说：“王后是世界上最漂亮的。”于是，王后知道白雪公主已经死了。

小矮人们回到小屋，发现白雪公主死了。可怜的小矮人们全都哭了。然后，他们把白雪公主放进玻璃棺材里，并把它抬到山坡上，安放在那里，说：“每位经过这里的人都会看见她是多么美丽。”接着每个小矮人在棺材上放了一朵白花，然后离开了。

他们刚刚要离开，一位王子从此经过，他看着玻璃棺材说：“那是什么？”这时，他发现白雪公主躺在里面，他说：“她太美丽了，把能把她放在这里，在父亲的王宫里有一座大厅，整个大厅都是用白石头砌成，我们把玻璃棺材搬到那所漂亮的白石大厅里。”小矮人们说：“抬走她吧。”

然后，王子告诉他的仆人抬起棺材。他们抬起它时，不巧一个仆人跌倒了。把棺材也摔到地上，白雪公主随同棺材跌了下来，那块苹果从她嘴里掉了出来，她醒了过来，坐起来说：“我这是在哪儿？”王子说：“你跟我在一起，我从来没有见过一位像你这么美丽的人，跟我来，做我的王后吧。”王子和白雪公主结婚了，她成了王后。

一个人去把这些消息告诉了坏王后，当她听到这些，气得倒下死去了。从那以后，白雪公主一直生活得很幸福。每年小矮人们都来看她。

New Words and Expressions 生词和词组：

wizard n. 男巫

hut n. 茅舍，小屋

中国现代著名学者胡适是属兔子的，他的夫人江冬秀是属老虎的，胡适常开玩笑说：“兔子怕老虎。”当时就流传了胡适怕老婆的笑话。

有一次，巴黎的朋友寄给胡适十几个法国的古铜币，因钱有“PTT”三个宇母，读起来谐音正巧为怕太太”。胡适与几个怕太太的朋友开玩笑说：“如果成立一个怕太太协会’，这些铜币正好用来做会员的证章。”

胡适经常到大学里去讲演。有一次，在某大学，讲演中他常引用

孔子、孟子、孙中山先生的话。引用时，他就在黑板上写：“孔说”，“孟说”，“孙说”。

最后，他发现自己的意见时，竟引起了哄堂大笑，原来他写的是：“胡说”。

Helen Keller once wrote about these early days.

One beautiful spring morning I was alone in my room, reading. Suddenly a wonderful smell in the air made me get up and put out my hands . The spirit of spring seemed to be passing in my room. "What is it?"I asked. The next minute I knew it was coming from mimosa tree outside. I walked outside to the edge of the garden, toward the tree. There it was, shaking in the warm sunshine. Its long branches, so heavy with flowers, almost touched the ground. I walked through the flowers to the tree itself and then just stood silent. Then I put my foot on the tree and pulled myself up into it. I climbed higher and higher until I reached a little seat. Long ago someone had put it there. I sat for a long time... Nothing in all the world was like this.

Later Helen learned that nature could be cruel as well as beautiful. Strangely enough she discovery this in a different kind of tree.

One day my teacher and I were returning from a long walk. It was a fine morning but it started to get warm and heavy. We stopped to rest two or three times. Our last stop was under a cherry tree, a short way from our house. The shade was nice and the tree was easy to climb. Miss Sullivan climbed with me. It was so coot up in the tree, we decided to have lunch there. I promised to sit still until she went to the house for some food. Suddenly a change came over the tree. I knew the sky was black because all the heat which meant light to me had died out of the air. A strange odor came up to me from the earth . I knew it. It was the odor which always comes before a thunder storm. I felt alone, cut off from friends, high above the firm earth. I was frightened and wanted my teacher. wanted to get down from that tree quickly, but I was no help to myself. There was a moment of terrible silence. Then a sudden and violent wind began to shake the tree and its leaves kept coming down all around me. I almost fell. I wanted to jump, but was afraid to do so. I tried to make myself small in the tree as the branches rubbed against me. Just us I thought that both the tree and I were going to fall, a hand touched me . It was my teacher. I held her with all my strength, then shook with joy to feel the solid earth under my feet.

Miss Sullivan stayed with Helen for many year. She taught Helen how to read, how to write and how to speak. She helped her to get ready for school and college. More than anything, Helen wanted to do what others did, and do it just as well. In time Helen did go to college and completed her studies with high honors. But it was a hard struggle. Few of the books she needed were written in the Braille language that the blind could read by touching pages. Miss Sullivan and others had to teach her what was in these books by forming words in her hands. The study of geometry and physics was especially difficult. Helen could only learn about squares, triangles and other geometrical forms by making them with wires. She kept feeling the different shapes of these wires until she could see them in her mind.

During her second year college Miss Keller wrote the story of her life and what a college meant to her. This is what she wrote.

My first day at Radcliffe college was of great interest. Some powerful force inside me made me test my mind. I wanted to learn if it was as good as that of others. I learned many things at college. One thing I slowly learned was that knowledge does not just mean power, as some people say. Knowledge leads to happiness because to have it is to know what is true and real. To know what great man of the past had thought, said, and done is to feel the heartbeat of humanity down through the ages.

All of Helen Kellers knowledge reached her mind through her sense of touch and smell, and of course her feelings. To know a flower was to touch it, feel it and smell it. This sense of touch became greatly developed as she got older. She once said that hands speak almost as loudly as words. She said the touch of some hands frightened her. The people seemed so empty of joy that when she touched their cold fingers it is as if she were shaking bands with a storm. She found the hands of others full of sunshine and warmth. Strangely enough Helen Keller learned to love things she could not hear, music for example. She did this through her sense of touch. When waves of air beat against her, she felt them. Sometimes she put her hand to a singers throat. She often stood for hours with her hands on a piano while it was played. Once she listened to an organ. Its powerful songs made her moved her body in rhythm with the music. She also liked to go to museums. She thought she understood sculptures as well as others. Her fingers told her the true size and the feel of the material.

What did Helen Keller think of herself, what did she think about the tragic lost of her sight and hearing. This is what she wrote as a young girl.

Sometimes a sense of loneliness covers me like a cold mist. I sit alone, and wait at life s shut-door. Beyond there is light and music and sweet friendship. But I may not enter. Silence sits heavy upon my soul. Then comes hope with a sweet smile and said

softly " There is joy in forgetting oneself And so I tried to make the light in others eyes my sun, the music in others ears my symphony, the smile on others lips my happiness.

Helen Keller was tall and strong. When she spoke, her face looked very alive. It helped to give meaning to her words. She often felt the faces of close friends when she was talking to them to discover their feelings. She and Miss Sullivan both were known for their sense of humor. They enjoyed jokes and laughing at funny things that happened to themselves or others. Helen Keller had to work hard to support herself after she finished college. She spoke to many groups around the country. She wrote several books and she made one movie based on her life. Her main goal was to increase public interest in the difficulties of people with physical problems. The work Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan did has been written and talked about for many years. Their success showed how people can conquer great difficulties. Anne Sullivan died in 1936, blind herself. Before Miss Sullivan died, Helen wrote and said many kind things about her.

It was the genius of my teacher, her sympathy, her love which made my first years of education so beautiful. My teacher is so near to me that I do not think of myself as a part from her. All the best of me belongs to her. Everything I am today was awakened by her loving touch .

Helen Keller died on June 1st, 1968. She was 87 year old. Her message of courage and hope remains.

In china, people believe that, at the beginning, the tiger and the cat were friends, and the cat was much smarter than the tiger .

The cat learned the physical skills quickly, and the tiger was always behind.    Gradually, the tiger had to learn from the cat, and the cat was patient to teach the tiger.     Day after day, month after month, finally, the tiger could also run, jump, roll, grasp, tear, and strike as well as the cat.   One summer afternoon, the cat was taking a nap as the tiger sitting nearby.   Looking at the cat, the tiger suddenly thought, why should he keep befriending with such a small animal since he had already learnt all the skills from the cat?    The evil tiger decided to kill the sleeping cat as a before dinner snack. The tiger stood up and approached the cat viciously.   Just as this moment, the cat woke up. Opening up her eyes, the smart cat immediately realized what the tiger was trying to do and swiftly jumped onto a nearby tall tree and climbed to the top branch.     The tiger thought he had already learned every skill from the cat . But he never knew that the cat had hidden the tree climbing from him.  “I kept the last technique of the tree climbing from you just because I suspected you might be can ungrateful friend.”The cat loudly told the tiger who watched under the tree helplessly.

一只小象出门旅行，在路上碰到了同样旅行的小猪。小象看着小猪，忍不住哈哈大笑着说：你的鼻子那么短，真是太好笑了，太差劲了，哈哈。小猪反驳道：笑个P啊，你鼻子那么长，就象脸上长个J8似的，还笑呢。两个小家伙互相嘲笑着前行，继续他们的旅行路程。他们来到了一颗苹果树前，又红又大的苹果挂满了树冠膨大的苹果树。两只小家伙不禁口水横流，垂涎三尺。小象来到树下，用他的长鼻子轻松地将苹果击落下来。于是两只小家伙开开心心地吃起来。小猪边吃边说：原来你的鼻子也不是那么讨厌嘛，嘿嘿。吃完苹果，他们继续前行。走着走着，他们来到了一块番薯地。小猪说：看我的。说完，小猪用他的鼻子去拱地，拱啊拱啊，把埋在地下的番薯都拱了出来。于是两只小家伙开开心心地吃起来。小象边吃边说：原来你的鼻子也不是那么差劲嘛，哈哈。

一只小猪、一只绵羊和一头乳牛，被关在同一个畜栏里。有一次，牧人捉住小猪，他大声号叫，猛烈地抗拒。绵羊和乳牛讨厌它的号叫，便说：“他常常捉我们，我们并不大呼小叫。”小猪听了回答道：“捉你们和捉我完全是两回事，他捉你们，只是要你们的毛和乳汁，但是捉住我，却是要我的命呢!”

立场不同、所处环境不同的人，很难了解对方的感受;因此对别人的失意、挫折、伤痛，不宜幸灾乐祸，而应要有关怀、了解的心情。要有宽容的心!

The Blacksmith And Dog

Those who will not work deserve to starve.

A Blacksmith had a little Dog, which used to sleep when his master was at work, but was very wide awake indeed when it was time for meals.

One day his master pretended to be disgusted at this, xiaogushi8.com and then he had thrown him a bone as usual, he said, “What on earth is the good of a lazy cur like you?”

When I am hammering away at my anvil, you just curl up and go to sleep: but no sooner do I stop for a mouthful of food than you wake up and wag your tail to be fed.

Once upon a time there was a miser. He hid his gold under a tree. Every week he used to dig it up.

One night a robber stole all the gold. When the miser came again, he found nothing but an empty hole.

He was surprised, and then burst into tears.All the neighbors gathered around him. He told them how he used to come and visit his gold.

"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them. "No," he said, "I only came to look at it." "Then come again and look at the hole," said the neighbor, "it will be the same as looking at the gold."

从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。

一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。

守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居，他告诉他们这里原来有他的金块。

问明了原因后，一个邻居问："你使用过这些金块吗?" "没用过，" 他说，"我只是时常来看看。""那么，以后再来看这个洞，"邻居说，"就像以前有金块时一样。"

The Wolf and the Lamb故事

真的小猛士：美国9岁男孩徒手斗鳄鱼

A brave 9-year-old is recovering in hospital after he wrestled a 9-foot, 400lb alligator off him with his bare hands - and he now plans to make a necklace from a tooth doctors found embedded in a wound on his back.

美国佛罗里达州一名9岁的小男孩，在湖中游泳时，遭到一条长9英尺(约2.7米长)、重400磅(约180多公斤)的短吻鳄袭击，赤手与其搏斗之后，小男孩身上多处受伤，目前正在医院治疗中。医生从他背部的伤口里取出一颗短吻鳄的牙齿，小男孩表示想把它做成项链。

James Barney Jr, spoke calmly and eloquently about his ordeal from hospital, where he was tucked up in bed with a teddy bear by his side. He was covered in some 30 teeth marks, doctors said.

小男孩名叫小詹姆斯·巴尼，他在医院里平静、生动地讲述了自己与短吻鳄搏斗的经历，在他床边还放有一只泰迪熊。医生说，小詹姆斯全身有30多处牙印。

The little boy described how it was a hot day so he had parked his bike and jumped into Lake Tohopekaliga - a lake that people are forbidden to swim in - when he felt something brush against his leg.

小詹姆斯说那天特别热，于是他就把自行车停在一旁自己跳进了托霍普卡莱加湖，这个湖是禁止人们在里面游泳的，刚一进去他就感觉有东西擦到他的腿了。

It really amazed me what happened. At first, I thought someone was just playing with me, and I didnt know what happened, he told ABC.

“后来发生的事情真的让我大吃一惊。但开始的时候，我以为是有人在跟我闹着玩，我并不知道发生了什么事情。”他告诉(ABC)的记者。

I reached down to grab it, and I felt its jaw, I felt its teeth, and I didnt know what to do, so I immediately reacted and hit it a couple times. And I had enough strength to pry its jaw open. The child pulled the powerful jaws open long enough to slide out and swim to shore.

[英语寓言故事之The Wolf and the Lamb

很小的时候，妈妈手上拿着一张纸，不停地说：黑楼，黑楼，还有踢车。

我问：妈妈，什么是黑楼啊？

妈妈说：不是黑楼，是哈喽。

我以前不懂英语，后来上了幼儿园大班后才知道英语里的hello。在一年级的暑假里，我背过了英语A、B、C等26个字母。二年级时，听说下一年要学英语，我着急了，因为我不知道怎么学英语，后来上了才知道，没有我想象得那么难，英语老师也不凶，还很逗，有时她刚做完的事，转身就忘了。

有人不好好听课时，老师就叽里咕噜，叽里咕噜的，全是英语。

有一次英语课上，一个英语学得不太好的同学，在书上画小人，那个小人画得很好玩，结果被老师发现了。老师叽里咕噜一串英语数落他，逗得我们笑，那个同学摸着脑袋，听不懂老师说啥。

英语课是有趣的，让我懂得了那些美丽的单词。

The bulging belly fox

A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return. Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all. But when he tried to get out again he found himself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune. Another Fox, happening to pass that way, came and asked him what the matter was; and, on learning the state of the case, said, “Well, my friend, I see nothing for it but for you to stay where you are till you shrink to your former size; you’ll get out then easily enough.”

胀肚的狐狸

饥饿的狐狸在一棵中空的树干中发现了一些牧羊人存留的面包和肉。高兴之余，他立即通过那狭窄的缝隙挤进去，贪婪的大吃起来。然而，当他吃饱之后，却发现自己的肚子胀鼓鼓的，即便费了九牛二虎之力，却怎么也钻不出那个洞来，便在树洞里唉声叹气。另一只狐狸恰巧经过那里，听到他的呻吟，便过去问他原因。听明白缘由后，那只狐狸便说道：“我的朋友，你就老老实实待在里边吧，等到恢复了钻进去之前的身材，你就能轻松地出来了。”

英文幽默风趣哲理小故事一

父子二人经过五星级饭店门口，看到一辆十分豪华的进口轿车。

儿子不屑地对他的父亲说：「坐这种车的人，肚子里一定没有学问!」

父亲则轻描淡写地回答：说这种话的人，口袋里一定没有钱

(注：你对事情的看法，是不是也反映出你内心真正的态度?)

After his father five-star hotel door and saw a very luxury imported cars.

Son of disdain for his father, said: "The people who take such a vehicle, necessarily Moyouxuewen stomach!"

Father answered lightly: say such things, certainly no money pocket

(Note: Your view of things, is not it also reflects the real attitude of your heart?)

英文幽默风趣哲理小故事二

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."

"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

英文幽默风趣哲理小故事三

Donny is a seven year old boy. He goes to school every day. The school is near his home.

So he goes there on foot and comes back home on time. But today, he is late.

His mother asks him, “Why do you go to the headmaster’s office?”

Because the teacher asks us a question in class and nobody can answer it, but I can.”

“It’s good to answer the teacher’s question.” “But the question is ‘Who pours ink on my chair?’”

谁把墨水倒在我椅子了?

唐尼是个7岁孩子，每天他都上学。学校在他的家附近。

因为，他不行去上学并按时回家。但是今天他回来迟了。

他的母亲问他：“你为什么去校长的办公室?”

“ 因为老师在上课时老师问我们一个问题，没有人能回答他，而我能。”

“ 回答老师的问题是好事。”

“ 但那个问题 ‘谁把墨水倒在我的椅子上了?’”

十年浩劫中，有个造反派想把花园里的一盆花拿回家去，但不知道这盆花好不好，就去问那些“黑作家”们。

被专政的作家们不想理他，推说不如道。这个造反派火了，

指着赵树理说，“你也不知道?”

赵树理说：“我不是不知道，是不好说。我是黑帮，我说是香花，你们说是毒草;我说是毒草，你们说是香花…”

赵树理被批斗后受了伤，去门诊治疗。医生惊诧地问道：“

你就是作家赵树理?”

赵树理淡淡一笑说：“这个时候，谁还敢冒名顶替我呢?”

陆昊然

“哈哈哈！”经常能听见笑声从教室传出，这肯定就是我们幽默的英语老师在上课。

她长得不高不矮，面容清秀，樱桃小嘴，长发披肩，还有双会说话的眼睛，经常逗的我们哈哈大笑。

她才三十几岁，却有着丰富的知识，还会用一些英语说笑话，下课时她会带我们做游戏，给我们东西吃，因此我用英语给她取了个外号叫，“howlong”。

虽然平时龙老师这么幽默，但是一上课就像变了一个人似的，非常严肃，只要是她讲过的题，我们一而再，再而三的错，她就会大发雷霆，但是她一看我们的表情又会哈哈大笑。比如有一次一张试卷上的题要改否定句，一般疑问和特殊疑问句，我们班有13个人没做出来，一开始她发怒了，用马克笔和戒尺重重的敲在白板上，后来我们都会了她就笑了。

这就是我们的龙老师，我会永远记住她。

有两个贫苦的樵夫靠上山捡柴糊口，有一天，他们在山里发现两大包棉花，两人喜出望外。棉花轻且贵，当下俩人各背了一包棉花赶路回家。

There once were two poor woodsmen who made a living by collecting woods in the mountain。 One day， they happened to discover two large bag of cotton in the mountain and felt surprisingly happy。 The cotton was light but valuable， so they carried it on their back and went back home。

走着走着，其中一名樵夫眼尖，看到山路上扔着一大捆布，他就和同伴商量。扔下棉花，背布回家。他的同伴却有不同的看法，认为自己背着棉花已走了一大段，到了这里丢下棉花，岂不枉费了先前的辛苦，坚持不愿换布。发现布的樵夫则尽其所能背起布走。又走了一段路，背布的樵夫望见不远处的地上散落着数坛黄金。心想这下真的发财了，赶忙用挑柴的扁担挑黄金。他的同伴仍是不愿丢下棉花，并怀疑黄金不是真的。发现黄金的樵夫只好自己挑了两坛黄金，和背棉花的伙伴赶紧回家。

When they were walking home， one of the woodsmen spotted a large bundle of cloth beside the road。 So he discussed with his partner whether to discard the cotton and take the cloth instead。 But his partner held a different view that since he had carried the cotton for such a long way， he would not change it with cloth because all his previous effort would turn out to be in vain。 Therefore， the other woodsman abandoned the cotton and carried the cloth on his back。 After walking for a while， the woodsman who carried the cloth spotted several jars of gold disseminated on the ground not far away。 He felt so thrilled that he was going to be a wealthy man。 So he gave up the cloth and used his carrying pole to carry two jars of gold， while his partner was still reluctant to abandon the cotton and wondering whether the gold was real or not。

谁知道刚走到山下。天竟下起雨来，俩人在空旷处被淋了个透。更为不幸的是，背棉花的樵夫背上的棉花，吸饱了雨水。重得背不动，实在不得已，只能丢下一路辛苦舍不得放弃的棉花，空着手和挑金子的同伴回家去了。

However， when they just went down to the foot of the mountain， it began to rain all of a sudden。 Both of them were wet from head to toes。 More unfortunately， the woodsman who carried the cotton found that his cotton had absorbed tons of water and became so heavy that he could no longer go on carrying it。 Desperately， he had to abandon the cotton and went back home empty—handed with his partner carrying gold。

在人生的每个关键时刻，谨慎地运用智慧，做最正确的选择，同时别忘了及时审视选择的角度，适时调整。要学会从各个不同的角度全面研究问题，放掉无谓的固执。冷静地用开放的心胸做正确抉择。每次正确无误的抉择将指引你走在通往成功的坦途上。

This story implies that we should deliberately utilize our wisdom and intelligence to make the right choice in face of every critical point in our life。 Meantime， we should not forget to review all the choices we have carefully and adjust our goal accordingly。 We should learn to view a certain issue from different angles and avoid being stubborn。 By opening your mind to the right choice， you will be guided to a smoother way to success。

从前，有个叫陈大卿的人得了疥疮病，整天痒得他坐卧不安，别人也不大敢接近他。

一天，他的上司碰到了他，见他那副模样，便笑话他说：“你可真舒服呀！”

陈大卿正儿八经地说：“你别讥笑我。我这病可有五种美德，是其他的病所远远赶不上的呢。”

上司说：“哪五种美德？”

陈大卿说：“仁、义、礼、智、信，它都具备。”

上司问：“此话怎讲？”

陈大卿不紧不慢地说道：“你看，这疥疮不生在脸上，它为我保全了面子，这是仁；谁只要一接触到它，它便毫不吝啬地给予别人，传染迅速，这是义呀；它常常奇痒难耐，引得人叉开手指去抓、去挠，这是讲礼呀；它不生在别处，专拣关节缝里长，扑朔迷离 ，不大好捉摸，这可是它的智；每隔一段时间，它便定时发痒，总在那几个时间来，不偏不离，这便是信。您说，这不正是它的五种美德吗？”

上司所了陈大卿这些后，也哈哈大笑起来。

陈大卿与上司的对话，其实是对封建统治阶级所鼓吹的“仁、义、礼、智、信”的讽刺，认为那不过是像疥疮一样的病症！

Covering Ones Ears While Stealing a Bell

掩耳盗铃

Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does [en]foolish

things.[/en]

王先生总以为自己很聪明，实际上他总干傻事。

One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. "Oh! How nice! I will take it home." He thinks, "What can I do?" After a while he has a "good" idea. "Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell."

一天，他看见一户人家的门头有个很漂亮的铃铛。"啊，真漂亮啊!我要把它拿回家去。"他自言自语道："我该怎么做呢?"过了一会儿他想到了一个"好"主意。"啊哈!我有办法了!我把耳朵堵上，拿铃铛的时候就听不见铃声了。"

Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. "What are you doing?" the owner says angrily.

于是他就这样做了。可是他刚拿下铃铛，屋子的主人就打开门，怒气冲冲地说："你在干什么?"

【成语来源】

At the time when Fan, a nobleman of the state of Jin, became a fugitive, a commoner found a bell and wanted to carry it off on his back.

春秋时侯，晋国贵族智伯灭掉了范氏。有人趁机跑到范氏家里想偷点东西，看见院子里吊着一口大钟。钟是用上等青铜铸成的，造型和图案都很精美。小偷心里高兴极了，想把这口精美的大钟背回自已家去。

But the bell was too big for him.

可是钟又大又重，怎么也挪不动。

[/en]When he tried to knock it into pieces with a hammer there was a loud clanging sound. [/en]

他想来想去，只有一个办法，那就是把钟敲碎，然后再分别搬回家。小偷找来一把大锤，拼命朝钟砸去，咣的一声巨响，把他吓了一大跳。

He was afraid that someone will hear the noise and take the bell from him, so he immediately stopped his own ears.

小偷着慌，心想这下糟了，这种声不就等于是告诉人们我正在这里偷钟吗?他越听越害怕，不同自由地抽回双手，使劲捂住自已的耳朵。

To worry about other people hearing the noise is understandable, but to worry about himself hearing the noise (as if stopping his own ears would prevent other people from hearing) is absurd.

“咦，钟声变小了，听不见了!”小偷高兴起来，“妙极了!把耳朵捂住不住就听不进钟声了吗!”他立刻找来两个布团，把耳朵塞住，心想，这下谁也听不见钟声了。于是就放手砸起钟来，一下一下，钟声响亮地传到很远的地方。人们听到钟声蜂拥而至把小偷捉住了。