英语幽默故事比赛英语作文通用20篇

Thetruest and most expressive thought was hardly be expressed.

Weall face it alone in silence to the most important thing in life. We can talkoccasionally about love, loneliness, happiness, miseries, death and so on, butthe true meaning is hard to deliver by words. I cannot tell others how gentlemy love is; how desperate my loneliness is; my enjoyable happiness is; howdepressive my miseries is; how ridiculous my death is. I have no choice but tohide then deeply in my heart. All what I said and wrote but the product ofthinking, while thinking, to some extend, is a kind of escape which from theparticular to general, fate to life and the abyss of silence to the bank oflanguage. If they have not become

pure/solely and abstract idea, it is merelybecause they have newly struggled out from the silence and with something hardto tell in their bodies.

Iam not to deny the possibility of communication between human beings, but

thecondition. It is silence, instead of words. 美特林克had an excellent explanation: the nature of silence tells the nature of one’ssoul. There is no any words may have a possibility to make a communicationbetween their soul if the two cannot share the same silence. To those who havenot solved the same questions in silence, even profound philosophy is only somepolite formulas. In fact, those superficial reader have no ability to identifythe profound philosophy and abstract thoughts, proverb and polite formulas,philosophy and 老生常谈, insipid/prosaic and commonplace,the knowledge of Buddha dharma and deceitful trick. One’s ability in wordscomprehension is based on his understanding to silence and eternally based onhis silence; that is his capacity of soul. Therefore, I insist that the lessonof one who is determined to seek the life philosophy is silence----to face hisimportant problem of sale in silence. Until he has enough accumulation and tootires to bear, all windows opened to him. This is the way that he not onlyunderstands the limited words, but also the unlimited information behind thesilence of words.

导语：说到中秋想必大家想到的就是月饼了，下面是yuwenmi小编为大家整理的优秀英语作文，欢迎阅读与借鉴，谢谢!

There is this story about the moon-cake. during the Yuan dynasty China was ruled by the Mongolian people. Leaders from the preceding Sung dynasty were unhappy at submitting to the foreign rule, and set how to coordinate the rebellion without being discovered. The leaders of the rebellion, knowing that the Moon Festival was drawing near, ordered the making of special cakes. Backed into each moon cake was a message with the outline of the attack. On the night of the Moon Festival, the rebels successfully attached and overthrew the government. Today, moon cakes are eaten to commemorate this legend and was called the Moon Cake.

For generations, moon cakes have been made with sweet fillings of nuts, mashed red beans, lotus-seed paste or Chinese dates(枣子), wrapped in a pastry. Sometimes a cooked egg yolk can be found in the middle of the rich tasting dessert. People compare moon cakes to the plum pudding and fruit cakes which are served in the English holiday seasons.

Nowadays, there are hundreds varieties of moon cakes on sale a month before the arrival of Moon Festival.

【参考译文】

有关于月饼的故事。中国在元朝是由蒙古人民统治。前宋朝的领导人不愿意服从外国的统治，并决定如何协调叛乱而不被发现。起义的领导人知道中秋节即将到来，就下令制作特制的蛋糕。回到每个月饼是一个信息的轮廓攻击。在中秋节的晚上，反叛者成功地推翻了政府。今天，月饼被用来纪念这个传说，被称为月饼。

一代又一代，月饼有坚果甜馅料，红豆泥，莲子糊和大枣(枣子)，酥皮包裹。有时煮熟的蛋黄中可以找到丰富的品尝甜点中间。人们把月饼和葡萄干布丁和水果蛋糕在英国的节日里进行比较。

现在中秋节到来前一个月就有数百种月饼出售。

：

One day, Doras mother gave her a coin, It was a bit dirty, so Dora washed it. Then it started talking to Dora.

Today I talked to a coin, When it was made, it was nice and clean. People took the coin to a bank. It stayed there for a few days. A person at the bank gave the bank gave the coin to a man. My mother went to buy some cake from the mans shop. The man gave the coin to her as part of her change. She dropped the coin. A street cleaner saw it and picked it up. He returned it to my mother. She gave it to me as pocket money. I washed the coin to make it clean again.

一天，多拉的母亲给了她一枚硬币。它有点儿脏，所以多拉把它洗了洗。听听这个硬币的英语故事。

今天我和一枚硬币谈话了，当它被铸造的时候，它很好看而且干净.人们把钱存到银行。它在那儿待几天.银行的人把这枚硬币给了一名男子。我的母亲从这名男子的商店里买一些蛋糕。这名男子将这枚硬币作为零钱的一部分找给她。她掉了这枚硬币。一位街道清洁工看到了并把它捡起来。他把她还给了我母亲。母亲把它当零花钱给我了，我洗了这枚硬币，让它再次变干净。

约翰逊26岁时曾被任命为全国青年总署德克萨斯州分署署长。他在任期间，对手下人十分严格，喜欢指出他们做错的地方。一次，他走过一个同事的座位，看到他的办公桌子上堆满了文件，就故意提高嗓门说：“我希望你的思想不要像这张桌子一样乱七八糟。”这样，同一个办公室的人都听得一清二楚。这位同事费了好大的劲，才在约翰逊第二次巡视办公室前把文件整理好了，并清理了桌面。约翰逊又来到办公室时，一看原来乱糟糟的桌面变得空空荡荡，于是说：“我希望你的头脑不要像这张桌子一样空荡荡。”

二（6）班丁星妤

今天，是讲故事比赛的日子，我为这次比赛准备了很长时间，付出了很多努力。

我排在第十个上台，等待的时间里，我很紧张。别的选手讲得都很吸引人，可是我都听不进去，因为我在想自己的故事。

终于轮到我上台了，我的心就像一只着急的兔子，怦怦直跳。幸好有妈妈在台下为我加油。

我就像平时练习的时候那样，在台上边讲边表演着，还好比较顺利地讲完了故事，我深深地吸了一口气。

妈妈夸我很棒，讲得很不错，我很开心！

2019年5月6日星期一晴

以前有个小国的人到中国来，进贡了三个一模一样的金人，金壁辉煌，把皇帝高兴坏了。但是这小国的人不厚道，同时出一道题目：这三个金人哪个最有价值？皇帝想了许多的办法，请来饰品匠检查，称重量，看做工，都是一模一样的。

怎样办？使者还等着回去汇报呢。泱泱大国，不会连这个小事都不懂吧？最后，有一位退位的老大臣说他有办法。皇帝将使者请到大殿，老臣胸有成足地拿着三根稻草，插入第一个金人的耳朵里，这稻草从另一边耳朵出来了。第二个金人的稻草从嘴巴里直接掉出来，而第三个金人，稻草进去后掉进了肚子，什么响动也没有。老臣说：第三个金人最有价值！使者默默无语，答案正确。

这个故事告诉我们，最有价值的人，不必须是最能说的人。老天给我们两只耳朵一个嘴巴，本来就是让我们多听少说的。善于倾听，才是成熟的人最基本的素质。

一只鸽子老是不断地搬家，想去掉自己身上的气味！它觉得，每次新窝住了没多久，就有一种浓烈的怪味，让它喘不上气来，不得已只好一向搬家。它觉得很困扰，就把烦恼跟一只经验丰富的老鸽子诉苦。老鸽子说：“你搬了这么多次家根本没有用啊，正因那种让你困扰的怪味并不是从窝里面发出来的，而是你自己身上的味道啊。”

寓言启示录：与团队格格不入，问题来自于自己！

有些人会不断埋怨别人的过错，指责别人的缺点，他们觉得周围的环境和人处处跟自己作对；或者是认为自己“曲高和寡”，一般人无法明白自己丰富而深刻的思想。实际上，他们没有意识到真正的问题不是来自于周围，而是来自于他们自己。像这样的人，务必试着认清自己，试着认真而深刻地反省自己。而一个组织也没必要为了失掉这样一只“鸽子”而遗憾。

愈来愈多的研究显示，领导潜质不是天生的，人们完全能够透过后天的发奋获得这种潜质。因此，领导者要想成功地改变员工，首先就务必改变自己的领导特质。

对领导者而言，出色的管理潜质仍然是必需的。领导者拥有这种管理潜质，不是为了控制和命令员工，而是为了支持、帮忙员工的发展与成长。

在这变幻莫测的全球竞争时代，公司高层与其苦苦追寻“先进”的管理方法与手段，不如将眼光放远，锁定员工的才智与热情，这是公司取之不尽的宝藏，公司务必找到适当的途径将他们释放出来。实现这个目标的唯一途径，就是让管理从控制员工，转向为坚信员工潜力、鼓舞员工热情。

唐僧、孙悟空经过许多磨难，到达西天，佛祖封他们为佛。孙悟空喜不自胜，向唐僧下拜道：“师父，请受我徒儿一拜，感谢你对我的信任，使我成了佛。”

唐僧双手合十，眼睛微闭，躬身答道：“应由我来感谢你对我的忠诚，阿弥陀佛！”但当他低头念完佛号，不觉抿嘴一笑。

没想到这细节被土地看到了。

土地问唐僧：“师父为什么对悟空发笑？”

唐僧回答说：“这猴头神通广大，现在又成了正果，其实根基还是很浅的。你要知道，我对他的信任，无非是那道紧箍咒；他对我的忠诚，也无非是那道紧箍咒。”

A man of the state of Zheng wanted to buy a pair of shoes.

从前，郑国有个人想买双鞋。

He measured his foot and put the measurement on a chair.

他量好了自己脚的尺码，把它放在了椅子上。

When he set out for the market,he forgot to bring it along.

可当他赶往市集时，却忘了带量好的尺码。

It was after he had found the pair he wanted that this occurred to him.

他要买鞋时，才想了起来。

"I forgot the measurement", said he.

他说：“我忘带尺码了。”

He went home to get it. But when he returned, the market had closed and he did not get his shoes after all.

他回家去取量好的尺码。等他赶回来时，市集已经关了，他还是没能买到鞋。

"Why didnt you try on the shoes with your feet?" He was asked.

有人问：“为什么不用你自己的脚去试一试鞋子呢?”

"Id rather trust the measurement than trust myself."

他说：“我宁愿相信尺码也不相信我自己的脚。”

【篇一】

A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home. But the pumpkin is too big. The panda can’t take it home.

Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her. She watches the bike. “I know! I have a good idea.” she jumps and shouts happily, “I can roll a pumpkin. It’s like a wheel.”

So she rolls the pumpkin to her home. When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, “Oh, my God! How can you carry it home?” the little panda answers proudly, “I can’t lift it, but I can roll it.” Her mother smiled and says，“What a clever girl! Use you heard to do something,”

一只小熊猫摘了一只大南瓜，想把它拿回家。但是这只南瓜太大了，她没有办法把这么大的南瓜带回家。

突然她看见一只狗熊骑着一辆自行车朝她这边来。她看着自行车，跳着说：“有了!我有办法了。我可以把南瓜滚回家去。南瓜好像车轮。

于是她把那瓜滚回家。当她妈妈看到这只大南瓜的时候，很惊讶：“天啊!这么食的南瓜!你是怎么把它带回家来的?”小熊猫自豪地说;“我拎不动它，可是我能滚动它啊!”她妈妈微笑着说：“真聪明啊!记住：只要你肯动脑筋，没有难办的事。

【篇二】

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.

He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich mans house today, for I cannot get over the river."

He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.

Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.

last week, my father took me to the park with his friends, they planed to play the football game, so i could have the chance to see the game. it was the first time for me to watch the football game. it was so good to watch it, i was full of passion. since that time, i fall in love with football, i spend more time with my father.

上周，我的爸爸带我和他的朋友去公园，他们打算踢足球赛，因此我有机会去看比赛。这是我第一次去看足球赛，那感觉真是棒极了，我充满了激情。打从那时起，我喜欢上了足球，我花多点时间和爸爸在一起。

In the Song Dynasty (宋朝) there was a joker called Sun Shan (孙山).

宋朝有一个很幽默的人，他叫孙山。

One year he went to take the imperial examination, and came bottom of the list of successfulcandidates.

有一年他去参加考试，公布名单时他是最后一名。

Back in his hometown, one of his neighbor asked him whether the neighbors son had also passed.

回到家，他的邻居向他打听自己的儿子考得怎么样。

Sun Shan said, with a smile:"Sun Shan was the last on the list. Your son came after Sun Shan."

孙山笑着对邻居说：“孙山考了最后一名，你儿子的名字还在孙山的后面呢。”

The people used this idiom to indicate failing in an examination or competition.

人们用“名落孙山”来比喻考试没有考上或者选拔没有被录取。

著名科学家爱因斯坦的大脑有多聪明，相信不用我再多费唇舌了。但私底下，爱因斯坦其实是一个谦虚、不爱张扬又充满爱心的人。以下告诉大家几个关于爱因斯坦的有趣小故事。

坐在姑娘旁和坐在火炉旁的感受

爱因斯坦的相对论对一般人来说很抽象，有几个充满求知欲的青年学生跑来请教他：“爱因斯坦先生，什么是相对论啊?

爱因斯坦风趣地说：“你在一个漂亮姑娘旁边坐了两个小时，却觉得只过了五分钟;你紧挨着一个熊熊燃烧的火炉只坐了五分钟，却觉得过了一个小时。这就是相对论。”

任何事情都是相对的，当人在愉悦的氛围中时，就会觉得时间过得很快，而在煎熬中时，当然会觉得时间过得很慢了。不过，爱因斯坦的相对论说的是物理，而这里说的是人的心理。

从烟囱里爬出来该不该洗澡

有个学生请教爱因斯坦逻辑学有什么用。爱因斯坦没有直接回答，而是问他：“假如有两个工人从烟囱里爬出来，一个很干净，一个很脏，你认为哪一个会去洗澡呢?”

“当然是脏的那个会去洗澡。”学生说。

爱因斯坦反问：“是吗?脏的那个工人看见对方干干净净，还以为自己也不脏，哪里会去洗澡呢?”

“这样看来是干净的那个去洗澡了!”学生恍然大悟。

在场的学生都认同这个答案，爱因斯坦却笑道：“错!两个工人都是从烟囱里爬出来的，怎么可能一个干净一个脏呢?这就是逻辑学的用处!”

到底谁笑谁

爱因斯坦的《相对论》问世后，德国种族主义分子极力贬斥和嘲笑它。

一天，一些人在柏林会议厅集会攻击爱因斯坦的“谬论”，有些自以为是的狂徒极力讽刺挖苦相对论，引来一些无知者的阵阵笑声。

爱因斯坦镇定地走进会议厅，找了一个位子坐下。每当他听到演讲者荒谬的斥责声时，便随着听众一起哈哈大笑，有时还跟着鼓掌、喝倒彩。

朋友看到爱因斯坦这个样子，忍不住说：“这到底是谁在笑谁呢?”

美国喜剧明星鲍勃.霍博擅以自嘲说笑，不但获得了观众的笑声，也赢得了无数人的敬爱。

当他第一次去好莱坞应征演员时，导演问他：“你擅长表演什么呢?”

他说：“滑稽的动作和语言。”导演就要他当场表演。

于是,鲍勃.博走到办公室门口，大声对在外等候的应征者说：“你们都回去吧,公司已经录用我了!”

他的机智与幽默，他顺利地踏入了演艺圈。

心得：有时候，快乐，幽默，不仅仅是一种心情，更是一种积极的思维方式和生活方式，同时也是一种观察世界的方式。

13岁那年，我失去了父亲。是母亲拼命为我撑起了一片少雨的天空，使我顺利地完成了大学学业。

我幸运地被一家大企业录用，待遇很丰厚，在那里工作不到两年，爱神突然降临。深爱我的不是别人，是该企业负责人的儿子。

他仪表堂堂，英俊潇洒，又是重点大学毕业的，各方面都很优秀，我沉浸在恋爱的幸福之中。相处不到半年，他就向我提出了结婚的要求。

我们的婚礼在本市一家最大的酒店里举行。那天，我和他站在酒店门前，迎来了那么多的亲朋好友。一时间，客人们的祝福、赞誉声像潮水般涌来，使我如入梦境，真有点飘飘然的感觉。

婚宴开始前，有一个小小的仪式，那就是新郎新娘向双方父母行礼。当主持人告诉我们婚礼即将开始的时候，我看到母亲坐在大厅一个最不显眼的角落，穿戴和平常一样，满头白发。

我心想母亲也不好好打扮一下，这毕竟是女儿的婚礼啊!我后悔自己太忙而没有嘱咐母亲。母亲看上去态度很拘谨，好像手足无措的样子。跟男友父母比，相差实在太远了。

让母亲上台丢人现眼?不!我看着主持人，突然灵机一动，我走过去对主持人悄悄说：“我妈身体不好，怕吵，就别让她上前台了吧!”

主持人点点头后，宣布婚礼正式开始了，我们踏着婚礼进行曲，缓缓地走上前台，主持人请新郎父母上台，并说：“请新人向父母行礼，感谢他们多年的养育之恩。”

“养育之恩”这四个字，使我的心猛地一颤，望着台下的母亲，我看到她正在抹眼泪。虽然我心里好像有什么东西堵着，可转念又想，我是她的整个世界。我的幸福快乐，就是她的幸福快乐，她此时流的泪水，应该是高兴的泪水吧。

婚礼过后几天，母亲就恋恋不舍地离开了我们，走时眼里一直含着泪花。

半年后，我去参加同事菊的婚宴。当主持人请新郎新娘父母上台时，我一下子怔住了：我看见一位母亲坐着轮椅被人推上前台。主持人介绍：“这位是新娘的母亲。”

快言快语的菊接过麦克风：“今天是我一生中最幸福的时刻，我要让母亲跟我一起分享幸福。母亲虽然不能像正常人那样走路，但她为我献出了全部的爱。在我的心目中，她永远是伟大的母亲!”顿时，大厅内的掌声掩盖了一切。

就在这一瞬间，我的心像被针扎似的疼痛，想起自己半年前的婚礼，想起在婚礼上流泪的母亲……比起菊，我羞愧得无地自容，此时，我才明白，一时的虚荣，是何等的悲哀!

Helen Keller once wrote about these early days.

One beautiful spring morning I was alone in my room, reading. Suddenly a wonderful smell in the air made me get up and put out my hands . The spirit of spring seemed to be passing in my room. "What is it?"I asked. The next minute I knew it was coming from mimosa tree outside. I walked outside to the edge of the garden, toward the tree. There it was, shaking in the warm sunshine. Its long branches, so heavy with flowers, almost touched the ground. I walked through the flowers to the tree itself and then just stood silent. Then I put my foot on the tree and pulled myself up into it. I climbed higher and higher until I reached a little seat. Long ago someone had put it there. I sat for a long time... Nothing in all the world was like this.

Later Helen learned that nature could be cruel as well as beautiful. Strangely enough she discovery this in a different kind of tree.

One day my teacher and I were returning from a long walk. It was a fine morning but it started to get warm and heavy. We stopped to rest two or three times. Our last stop was under a cherry tree, a short way from our house. The shade was nice and the tree was easy to climb. Miss Sullivan climbed with me. It was so coot up in the tree, we decided to have lunch there. I promised to sit still until she went to the house for some food. Suddenly a change came over the tree. I knew the sky was black because all the heat which meant light to me had died out of the air. A strange odor came up to me from the earth . I knew it. It was the odor which always comes before a thunder storm. I felt alone, cut off from friends, high above the firm earth. I was frightened and wanted my teacher. wanted to get down from that tree quickly, but I was no help to myself. There was a moment of terrible silence. Then a sudden and violent wind began to shake the tree and its leaves kept coming down all around me. I almost fell. I wanted to jump, but was afraid to do so. I tried to make myself small in the tree as the branches rubbed against me. Just us I thought that both the tree and I were going to fall, a hand touched me . It was my teacher. I held her with all my strength, then shook with joy to feel the solid earth under my feet.

Miss Sullivan stayed with Helen for many year. She taught Helen how to read, how to write and how to speak. She helped her to get ready for school and college. More than anything, Helen wanted to do what others did, and do it just as well. In time Helen did go to college and completed her studies with high honors. But it was a hard struggle. Few of the books she needed were written in the Braille language that the blind could read by touching pages. Miss Sullivan and others had to teach her what was in these books by forming words in her hands. The study of geometry and physics was especially difficult. Helen could only learn about squares, triangles and other geometrical forms by making them with wires. She kept feeling the different shapes of these wires until she could see them in her mind.

During her second year college Miss Keller wrote the story of her life and what a college meant to her. This is what she wrote.

My first day at Radcliffe college was of great interest. Some powerful force inside me made me test my mind. I wanted to learn if it was as good as that of others. I learned many things at college. One thing I slowly learned was that knowledge does not just mean power, as some people say. Knowledge leads to happiness because to have it is to know what is true and real. To know what great man of the past had thought, said, and done is to feel the heartbeat of humanity down through the ages.

All of Helen Kellers knowledge reached her mind through her sense of touch and smell, and of course her feelings. To know a flower was to touch it, feel it and smell it. This sense of touch became greatly developed as she got older. She once said that hands speak almost as loudly as words. She said the touch of some hands frightened her. The people seemed so empty of joy that when she touched their cold fingers it is as if she were shaking bands with a storm. She found the hands of others full of sunshine and warmth. Strangely enough Helen Keller learned to love things she could not hear, music for example. She did this through her sense of touch. When waves of air beat against her, she felt them. Sometimes she put her hand to a singers throat. She often stood for hours with her hands on a piano while it was played. Once she listened to an organ. Its powerful songs made her moved her body in rhythm with the music. She also liked to go to museums. She thought she understood sculptures as well as others. Her fingers told her the true size and the feel of the material.

What did Helen Keller think of herself, what did she think about the tragic lost of her sight and hearing. This is what she wrote as a young girl.

Sometimes a sense of loneliness covers me like a cold mist. I sit alone, and wait at life s shut-door. Beyond there is light and music and sweet friendship. But I may not enter. Silence sits heavy upon my soul. Then comes hope with a sweet smile and said

softly " There is joy in forgetting oneself And so I tried to make the light in others eyes my sun, the music in others ears my symphony, the smile on others lips my happiness.

Helen Keller was tall and strong. When she spoke, her face looked very alive. It helped to give meaning to her words. She often felt the faces of close friends when she was talking to them to discover their feelings. She and Miss Sullivan both were known for their sense of humor. They enjoyed jokes and laughing at funny things that happened to themselves or others. Helen Keller had to work hard to support herself after she finished college. She spoke to many groups around the country. She wrote several books and she made one movie based on her life. Her main goal was to increase public interest in the difficulties of people with physical problems. The work Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan did has been written and talked about for many years. Their success showed how people can conquer great difficulties. Anne Sullivan died in 1936, blind herself. Before Miss Sullivan died, Helen wrote and said many kind things about her.

It was the genius of my teacher, her sympathy, her love which made my first years of education so beautiful. My teacher is so near to me that I do not think of myself as a part from her. All the best of me belongs to her. Everything I am today was awakened by her loving touch .

Helen Keller died on June 1st, 1968. She was 87 year old. Her message of courage and hope remains.

作者：张家硕

昨天，我们全体五年级举行了第五届讲故事比赛，我们的心里很开心。

我们起床了以后在小广场听主任说进场顺序，听完以后我们就去五楼报告厅走去听别人讲故事了，我们每个班出场两个人，我们班出场的是王浩然和曲姿谕，让我最喜欢的是王浩然的，我喜欢的理由是王浩然说话又大又大方，不像曲姿谕说话有点小，王浩然选的故事是抗战时期少年岳飞的故事，王浩然说了当年岳母把岳飞生下来的时候不知给岳飞起一个什么名字，忽然天上有一只大鹏鸟飞过，岳母就知道起什么名字，就叫岳飞吧！

有一次岳家起了一次洪水就把岳家冲没了，后来他们又找到了一个地方建了一个家，岳飞家中从小家就贫穷，常常吃不起饭，有一次加个朋友想带着岳飞拦路抢劫，可是岳飞不想，众兄弟再三劝说可是岳飞还坚决不去，岳飞想等到岳母回来的时候告诉岳母，岳母知道后给岳飞说这种事情咱可干不了，不知过了多久日寇开始进攻岳飞呆在那个地方，月奴给岳飞说咱们怎么办呀？岳飞只说：“上场杀敌，金忠报国。”岳母要给岳飞的背上刻上金忠报国这四个字，让岳飞永远记住，岳母说完，岳飞就脱下上衣请岳母下针，岳母说：“你不怕痛吗？”岳飞又说：“有点痛我还克制不了我还怎么上场杀敌”说完岳母就刻了起来。

从那时起，金忠报国这四个字永远的留在岳飞的背上了。

从前有两个重病人，同住在一家大医院的小病房里。房间很小，只有一扇窗子可以看见外面的世界。其中一个人，在他的治疗中，被允许在下午坐在床上一个小时（有仪器从他的肺中抽取液体）。他的床靠着窗，但另外一个人终日都得平躺在床上。

每当下午睡在窗旁的那个人在那个小时内坐起的时候，他都会描绘窗外景致给另一个人听。从窗口向外看可以看到公园里的湖。湖内有鸭子和天鹅，孩子们在那儿撒面包片，放模型船，年轻的恋人在树下携手散步，在鲜花盛开、绿草如茵的地方人们玩球嬉戏，后头一排树顶上则是美丽的天空。

另一个人倾听着，享受每一分钟。他听见一个孩子差点跌到湖里，一个美丽的女孩穿着漂亮的夏装他朋友的述说几乎使他感觉自己亲眼目睹外面发生的一切。

然而，在一个天气晴朗的午后，他心想：为什么睡在窗边的人可以独享看外头的权利呢？为什么我没有这样的机会？他觉得不是滋味，他越这么想，就越想换位子。他一定得换才行！有天夜里他盯着天花板瞧，另一个人忽然惊醒了，拼命地咳嗽，一直想用手按铃叫护士来。但这个人只是旁观而没有帮忙——尽管他感觉同伴的呼吸已经停止了。第二天早上，护士来的时候那人已经死了，只能静静地抬走他的尸体。

过了一段时间后，这人开口问，他是否能换到靠窗户的那张床上。他们搬动了他，帮他换位子，使他觉得很舒服。他们走了以后，他企图用手肘撑起自己，吃力地往窗外望窗外只有一堵空白的墙。

生命操之在我，过去、未来皆然。

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don‘t get it! You can‘t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.‘ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it‘s not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It‘s your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I‘d be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

"Weren‘t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He‘s a dead man. " I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,‘ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!‘ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

林肯是美国历任总统中最具幽默感的一位。

早在读书时，有一次考试，老师问他：“你愿意答一道难题，还是两道容易的题目?”林肯很有把握地答：“答一道难题吧。”“那你回答，鸡蛋是怎么来的?”“鸡生的。”老师又问：“那鸡又是从哪里来的呢?”“老师，这已经是第二道题了。”林肯微笑着说。

一次，林肯步行到城里去。一辆汽车从他身后开来时，他扬手让车停下来，对司机说：“能不能替我把这件大衣捎到城里去?”“当然可以，”司机说，“可我怎样将大衣交还给你呢?”林肯回答说：“哦，这很简单，我打算裹在大衣里头。”司机被他的幽默所折服，笑着让他上了车。

林肯当过律师。有一次出庭，对方律师把一个简单的论据翻来覆去地陈述了两个多小时，讲得听众都不耐烦了。好不容易才轮到林肯上台替被告辩护，他走上讲台，先把外衣脱下放在桌上，然后拿起玻璃杯喝了两口水，接着重新穿上外衣，然后再脱下外衣放在桌上，又再喝水，再穿衣，这样反反复复了五六次，法庭上的听众笑得前俯后仰。林肯一言不发，在笑声过后才开始他的辩护演说。

林肯的脸较长，不好看。一次，他和斯蒂芬·道格拉斯辩论，道格拉斯讥讽他是两面派。林肯答道：“要是我有另一副面孔的话，我还会戴这副难看的面孔吗?”

有一次，林肯在擦自己的皮鞋，一个外国外交官向他走来说：“总统先生，您竟擦自己的皮鞋?”“是的，”林肯诧异地反问，“难道你擦别人的皮鞋?”

有人认为林肯对待政敌的态度不够强硬，对他说：“你为什么要让他们成为朋友呢?你应该想办法消灭他们才对。”“我难道不是在消灭政敌吗?当我使他们成为我的朋友时，政敌就不存在了。”林肯温和地说。

又有一次，一个妇人来找林肯，她理直气壮地说：“总统先生，你一定要给我儿子一个上校的职位。我们应该有这样的权利，因为我的祖父曾参加过雷新顿战役，我的叔父在布拉敦斯堡是惟一没有逃跑的人，而我的父亲又参加过纳奥林斯之战，我丈夫是在曼特莱战死的，所以……”林肯回答说：“夫人，你们一家三代为国服务，对国家的贡献实在够多了，我深表敬意。现在你能不能给别人一个为国效命的机会?”那妇人无话可说，只好悄悄走了。

Ji Anlived at the time of Emperor Wudi of the Western Han Dynasty (206 B.C.-A.D.24). He was respected for being upright and just and for daring to speak the truth. He did not bother about amall matters in personal behaviour and in being an official. He was particular about actual effects and ,although he did not cause a stir ,he could keep the prefecture he governed in perfect order. Because of this. the imperial court transferred him to the central government from being the perfect of the Donghai Prefecture to being a commander in charge of the appointment and dismissal of the local officals.

Once,Emperor Wudi said that he would implement the policy of benevolence and justice of Confucianism and would do good turns to the people.Emperor Wudi Had hardly finished his remards when Ji An said that there was no need for the emperor to say so.Why should the emperor bother,Ji An said, about pretending to implement the policy of benevolence and justice since he was so greedy and avaricious within himself? This choked the emperor off. The emperor suddenly Changed his countenance and declared the meeting over. All the civilian and military officers at court were breathless with anxiety for fear that Ji An might bring disaster upon himself because of this. After returning, Emperor Wudi said to the people around him that Ji An was a little too rude and too straightforward.

For this reason ,Ji An was never promoted again. When he was the commander in charge of the appointment and dismissal of the local officials, both Gongsun Hong and Zhang Tang were low -ranking lfficials of little importance. Later ,they were promoted continuously. Gongsun Hong became the prime minister and Zhang Tang became the imperial censor. However, JiAns post remained thesame. One day, Ji An said to Emperor Wudi that the way the emperor used his ministers was just like piling up firewood, which meant that the latecomers surpassed the old-timers. Of course, Emperor Wudi could see that Ji An was complaining. So,turning to his ministers, Emperor Wudi said, "It is true that no one can stop learning.You see, Ji An is making more and more indiscreet remarks."

This story comes from The Historical Records. Later generations use the set phrase "the latecomers surpass the old-timers " to indicate that successors can cxcel the predecessors, which is quite different from the original idea when Ji An said that the latecomers surpassed the old-timers.

汲黯是西汉武帝时代人，以刚直正义、敢讲真话而受人尊重。他为人和做官都不拘小节，讲求实效。虽然表面上不那么轰轰烈烈，却能把一个郡治理得井井有条，因此，朝廷把他从东海太守调到朝廷当主爵都尉——一种主管地方吏任免的官职。

有一次，汉武帝说要实行儒家的仁义之政，为老百姓办好事了。没等皇帝把话说完，汲黯就说：“陛下内心里那么贪婪多欲，表面上却要装得实行仁政，这是何苦呢？”一句话把皇帝噎了回去。汉武帝登时脸色大变，宣布罢朝，满朝文武都为汲黯捏着一把汗，担心他会因此招来大祸。武帝回到宫里以后，对身边的人说，汲黯这个人也未免太粗太直了。

从此以后，汲黯的官职再也没有提升。他当主爵都尉的时候，公孙弘、张汤都还是不起眼的小官，后来，他们一个劲儿住上升，公孙弘当上了丞相，张汤做上了御史大夫，可他汲黯还蹲在原地没动窝。有一天，汲黯对武帝说，陛下使用群臣，跟码劈柴一样，是“后来者居上”啊！汉武帝当然听得出这是发牢骚。于是，转脸对臣下们说：“人真是不能不学习啊！你们听汲黯说话，越来越离谱了！”

故事出自《史记汲郑列传》。成语“后来居上”，往往指后起的可以胜过先前的。和汲黯说这话的原意，大不相同。

Once upon a time there was a miser. He hid his gold under a tree. Every week he used to dig it up.

One night a robber stole all the gold. When the miser came again, he found nothing but an empty hole.

He was surprised, and then burst into tears.All the neighbors gathered around him. He told them how he used to come and visit his gold.

"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them. "No," he said, "I only came to look at it." "Then come again and look at the hole," said the neighbor, "it will be the same as looking at the gold."

从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。

一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。

守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居，他告诉他们这里原来有他的金块。

问明了原因后，一个邻居问："你使用过这些金块吗?" "没用过，" 他说，"我只是时常来看看。""那么，以后再来看这个洞，"邻居说，"就像以前有金块时一样。"